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Oh my crispy Jesus, this game: A review of Angelz Cries "Tactics"
Review by eien_tsubasa
Oh my god!!
It was only a few days ago that I reviewed Order, but THIS...THIS game is the worst game I have ever played IN MY LIFE! I have never played a game and felt so UNCLEAN. Why did I feel like scrubbing myself with a brick after playing this game? Ugh, should I really torment you like this? Should I really subject you to the same TORTURE that I endured. Alright, readers, it's your loss...
So the game begins with Gentz, who I must say is one of the most apathetic and most boring characters in an RPG, tactical or otherwise I have EVER SEEN. He cares nothing of what happens in his life, or overall surroundings for that matter. He starts the game droning on about his boring life while random while changing personalities on us at random time. I'd like to tell you what happens i the story but...I can't, and I'll tell you why in a minute.
As for the other characters, there's Gentz's boss who we see "sketching words", his female next door neighbor who breaks up with her boyfriend, a scene I may add that serves no bearing to the story's "plot", and some guy with a mohawk who randomly gives you a robot. I don't know, none of the characters make any sense, have no purpose, and are introduced randomly. As such, I can't fully describe the main character or the other characters at all. I have never seen a character cast so bland, so boring, in my entire life, and again I JUST FINISHED PLAYING ORDER!!
Okay, remember when I told you that I couldn't tell you the overall plot? Well, that's because I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITHIN THE GAME. Characters drown out bland and pretentious dribble that only confuses the player even further than they were before. Scenes change randomly and have as much organization as the spinning cup ride in Disneyland. And the elipses, oh god the elipses. SO MANY elpises. They make up literally 80% of the over conversation. Added on the the fact that there's absolutely no music just makes each scene vacant and not at all worth your attention. The remaining 20% of dialogue is just pretentious talking and nonsensical babble coupled with swear word after swear word.
Now the battles. First of all, when these battles started, my brain got whiplashed. The game is about the boring escapades of some bland nineteen year old, and then we suddenly get robots! Where the hell did that come from?! But anyway, it plays a bit like final fantasy tactics, except not isometric, random, glitchy, and exploitable. After you successfully killed an enemy, or attacked with a skill, of healed, your robot had the option to take another action. It's like the "One More" battle system in Shin Megami Tensei Persona 3 and 4 after it took drugs. When the enemy is hit with a status ailment, the game crashes, as if your computer has to put itself out of its misery by killing itself. This makes the game unfinishable ad unplayable as the faulty creation of this game warrants.
And of course the soundtrack is completely ripped. It uses the Guilty Gear XX soundtrack, FLCL, Bowling for Soup (that's a new one), and Serial Experiments Lain. Of course you never hear the soundtrack, because the scenes are always so quiet, making certain event, like those in the beginning of the game, vacant and boring.
Overall, this game is the worst TRPG to ever be created by humans. If RRR allowed negative numbers in its rating system, I would have done so. It's vacant, boring, pretentious, random, glitchy, unplayable, and overall makes absolutely no sense what so ever. I REALLY don't know what the creator was trying to get at with this game, but all he did was make a college independent video that you could play on your computer. And or course when I say play, I mean watch characters boringly force unattractive lines, follow a nonsensical story, and play a tactical RPG that doesn't even work.
Creator of Order, if you are reading this, I apologize whole-heartingly for the harsh review, because you didn't make Angelz Cries Tactics.
Reviewer's Score: 1 / 10, Posted Fri, 03 Dec 2010 08:20:47 -0500
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