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This Is a Horrible Way to Make a Comeback: A Review of Order
Review by eien_tsubasa
Sorry I've been gone for this long, guys. I've been so caught up in my web comic that I forgot to review some of these games. And while This game isn't new, there have been a few new games going around, and it awoken my zeal i reviewing.
As such, I wanted to pick a game that i had my eye on, but never tried to review. So I come across this game and by god, is it horrible. Why, well just keep reading the review and find out...at your own risk.
Okay so the story for this game starts off as subtle as a middle eastern genocide. You start the story off as a warrior named You (whom you can rename) who is locked up in a jail cell. He walks forward to trigger the even that forces him to exposit his entrapment, then by expositing some more, he makes his way out and finds a man in a black robe. This black hooded man tells you his reasons for capturing you and putting you in his labyrinth...and his reason is utterly ridiculous!
He captures passing warriors and throws them into his easy-mode rat maze as a means of testing them. Whoever exits the maze will be told of the upcoming disaster that will soon plague the world. This is a quadruple-whammy of stupid. First, WHY CAPTURE THE TRAVELERS? Why couldn't the hooded man just approach them instead of knock them out and capture them like he was the jigsaw killer from saw? For that matter, why does he leave them in the maze to die when he clearly needs people to save the world instead to keeping them alive so they can actually escape. By locking up these adventurers and not giving them food and water to survive, he's slowly killing his only chance to save the world from whatever this evil is. And how did these adventurers, who must have had years of experience in tracking, navigation, and SURVIVAL, get lost in a maze that took me maybe two minutes tops to clear are they THAT stupid?? And their only reward is to be told that about some evil amulet that the gods created to destroy the world?? I would've punched this guy in the face!
Oh, I forgot to mention that, huh. Oh yeah, the gods created an amulet that brings about peace to the area of its owner, but will plunge the world into chaos is wielded by "someone with an evil heart". That's right reader. We have escaped Saw territory and have reached Warriors of Virtue territory, man you're in for a ride, guys.
So you get teleported to the hooded man's house (because I guess he can do that) and he tells you to go to the Town of Skingrad (Elder Scrolls: Oblivion much?), because the current mayor of the town, an evil dude, has the amulet, and only you can stop him. But he first asks you to visit an old friend who can assist you. Does he tell you where he is? Nope. He just gives you 300 gold, no equipment, wishes you good luck, and kicks you out of her house (Man what a douche).
To start off, the mapping is as bland as you can get without making it bad. Trees boringly stand next to each other like third reich solders. No variation with the grass or other tilesets. Rocks tossed in at reckless abandon, I could go on. There's no variation at all. Some of the paths, especially those in the forest, are the same maps with different decorations. That's not variation, that's reusing, proof of the creator's lack of devotion to his project. And if he didn't care, why should I? But I promised to review it, so I kept playing.
The battles? Boring and completely unbalanced. You begin the game with now weapons or items, and although the monsters HP and MP values seem reasonable and challenging, their skills are not. I ran into a group of three forest rats that had a stun attacked that costs absolutely no MP. I say this because the rats simply did this move, and this move ONLY, until i inevitably died. I played the game again, only to have the same rats kill me with the same move again.
Look, creator. If your not going to check your skills, you might as well not even make the game. How could you have missed this blatantly obvious flaw and expect people to play your game? CHECK YOUR MONSTERS! Why is it that every review I make, people encounter this flaw? It doesn't take a genius to look over your database and adjust your skills and status effect accordingly. And apparetnly, Kristofferson Siverfox is not one of these geniuses, because he barely checked his database before putting this crappy game up!
Normally I would do that thing with the rating system, but no! Not for this piece of crap! The story's idiotic. The premise is idiotic. The maps are boring and the battles are unbalanced to the point of being unplayable. I NEVER had to try to help someone fix something so broken. I alert, no, i beg ANYONE who comes across this review to avoid it like the plague. If ANYONE wants to make an RPG on RMVX, THIS is the perfect BAD example! I mean, say what you want about Fireheart, at least you can PLAY IT!
....Ugh. Now if you excuse me, I have to apologize to every bad game I ever reviewed, and thank them for not making Order: the mosr disorderly RPG posted on this site.
Reviewer's Score: 1 / 10, Posted Sun, 28 Nov 2010 14:45:52 -0500
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