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RPG RPG Revolution Forums > Story and Plot Area > Writing Critique
Redd
I really like writing poems of all different kinds! Hopefully you will enjoy reading them too smile.gif You can also hear a few (and more that I didn't write the lyrics down for) at my Grooveshark page! I've got covers and originals on there!
A Better Place
Livin' in this world
It's just another day
I watch the news on the TV
It's full of hypocrites who say
What they mean to say
But they turn on it
Blast away the minds of the innocent
Of kids who just want to play
In a world the sees no evil
Hears no cussin'
No overdose druggin'
No alcohol commercials that say it's okay
The ropes are starting to fray
And we'll all fall from the swing
That held us in the early days
Empty Minded
One day I was eating
A piece of pie
When something shiny
Just caught my eye

I looked at the ceiling
And stared off into space
Before I blinked an eye
I was in my happy place

Sometimes I'm empty minded
I stare off into space
Oh yes I'm empty minded
I see the world with grace

I'm always empty minded
I like staring at your face
Oh great I'm empty minded
I can't keep up the pace
Jump
Cold dark night
Wait until morning
"Use your sight"
A small voice assures me

Wake from my sleep
In my cold damp cell
I must escape
From metaphoric Hell

I think back to the voice
And I look all around
Unrealistically glistening
Is the eyeglass I had found

I hold it to my eye
And look through the glass
I look all around
And find a secret pass

As I crawl through
The voices tell me
Which direction to go
But ever so subtly

Once I get out
I stand at a ledge
I take a single leap
And at last I'm at rest

(I'm actually planning on making a RM mini game of this poem sooner or later!)


Let me know what you think!
amerk
Pretty epic. I've seen a few staff members posting things here as of late and may have to jump on that wagon myself.
X-M-O
I think you're having a lot of fun with those poems. =D
It's good. happy.gif

I love the idea of making the poem into a mini-game, by the way. Poetry is good inspiration for a game. =]
Bill Nye
Meh, i'm not much of a poet. And i know it.
It's decent, i suppose. tongue.gif
Redd
Thanks smile.gif
Jonnie19
I love your cover of Snuff tongue.gif Poems are also great tongue.gif
Redd
Haha thanks biggrin.gif I love that song to death :3
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