QUOTE (X-M-O @ Jul 23 2011, 09:26 PM)
QUOTE (Sparrowsmith @ Jul 23 2011, 02:57 PM)
I have yet to see a single marriage at <18 that has been successful.
I don't think it's stupid for someone to marry someone 3x their age.
I think it's stupid to get married at 16.
Slightly unrelated, but still related to what you've mentioned:
My parents were born 6 days apart, of the same year, and were married when they were both still 17. (So there isn't a huge gap, but I wanted to mention that early relationships can work out.)
They've been married for the past 31 years (earlier this year was their 31st anniversary). During the first few years of their relationship, their parents (both sides) hated the other parents and constantly tried to separate them. Not to mention that they were having financial problems (just starting out at that age and, after just being married, had a baby that first year). Not only that, but they both had different religious beliefs (dad was atheist, mum was protestant) and so did their parents (dad's parents were Catholic, and hated my mum for being protestant, and they were constantly telling my dad that he should return to being a Catholic, and mum's parents were Baptist).
Over the next few years of their marriage, they had two more babies (making it 3 at that time) and were still in financial difficulty, finding it difficult to get work and difficult to find money to buy food for their children (me included, as the second child).
Through it all, I'd never change the family I was born into, nor the situations surrounding that family, because everything turned out fine and both families are in harmony now due to the strong will of my parents to make things work out and their dedication and love for each other (and their five children, which is how many they eventually had over the first 15 years of their marriage).
So, I do believe that early relationships can work out, and be especially grand (I've seen other families with better situations, and brighter possible futures, and they've turned out horribly - whereas my family's situation only got better and better and continues to do so).
I can't say that it would have turned out as well if there was an age gap, but that wasn't the case and I can't make such assumptions.
I do agree that I would personally regard it as a terrible idea to marry at such a young age (for me, personally) or to someone much older than myself (for me, personally) however I believe that everyone has that choice to make on their own, and despite the fact that I may not like it (for me, personally), I would argue that people have their reasons for getting involved in those situations/relationships and shouldn't be considered stupid for doing so. It may be the only option they have, or possibly the better option in their case. We can't know their situation or reasons, but if we were told I would suspect that it would be justified (otherwise, it's a good learning tool for those who had no justification for their decisions).
Aye, there's five years between my parents, but they married while my mam was still young (I think it was 17 or 18) and even though they later divorced due to my dad having some health issues they stayed good friends and are still part of each others lives. As parents though they did pretty damn good all things considered.
So I know it can work when people marry young - that doesn't change that I think it's a rash move. They're not going anywhere
Another year or two, financial stability, make sure you're comfortable, that kind of thing.
Sort of like buying entering a raffle contest, your odds of losing are greater than your odds of winning, and if you saved up all that money you spent on raffles you could buy the stuff on offer anyway... So it's not stupid to get married early, just a bit foolhardy and impatient.
I think that's a better way of putting it.
There is still the difference that most people who get married have known each other more than a year, and this couple have not.
However, after watching the video I've decided I don't mind the marriage... JUST MAKE HER STOP LAUGHING
Something that worries me (and is readily apparent in this video) is the number of middle aged teenagers who strive to be mature. I've been in the exact same boat, so I'm not guilt-free. I listen to this girl, and I won't call her a woman no matter how mature she thinks she is, and I see someone who looks older than she is, and can talk older than she is, but she has no confidence, just arrogance, she doesn't make a good case for herself.
"I'm mature" *pout*
Please, if that's all it takes to be mature than there's a bunch of thirteen year olds on bebo who should be aloud to marry as well. Maturity comes with being more assertive with yourself about yourself, and knowing your own limitations and the limitations of others. People who think maturity is all fart jokes and getting married have a lot of growing up to do.
You can be ninety two and still enjoy a good fart joke, but a sixteen year old girl getting married is STILL a sixteen year old girl getting married.
Most annoying thing though, she 'saved herself' until she was 16. Only a 1/4 of people (on record anyway) claim to have had sex before the age of 16. 'Saving yourself' at 16 is complete rubbish - It takes about as much effort as putting clothes on and keeping them on.
At first I felt sick that a 16 year old could be stuck with someone so much older than her, now I kinda feel sorry that he's stuck with someone so annoying... On the brightside, she'll make a great role model to kids... Oh wait, no, she won't...