I've thought about this one over and over, and I decided to go with it. I wanna hear what you guys think about it. Is it too cliche? Does it lack something? Does it need revising? Anywho here we go..

"In another world far from our own, there lived two great nations, the Elore and the Alghast. The Elore are a race of magical human-like beings. The Elore are capable of manipulating nature and using magical spells, but they lack physical strength and rely on their mystical heritage. While the Alghast are an intelligent human-like race. Although they cannot use magic like the Elore, they can however make mechanical inventions that even rivals the strongest spells. As the two races grew so did their nations, as they have reached to the point where they can expand no more, they fought each other over the ruler of the world.

The war between magic and machine lasted many years, until one day when something else sought after the prize that they have fought for. A dark and hideous race had invaded their world, and had laid waste to both nations. The two nations joined together to stop the evil force, but to no avail, as it was far more stronger than the two nations. The Alghast had made a plan to seal away the evil force to another planet inhabited by humans. Using the magical powers of the Elore and the technological wonders of the Alghast, they had created a prison that had sealed the evil force. Six brave souls have volunteered to guard the evil force by forever remaining in the new world. They fused the crystal seals within their own bodies to prevent anyone from obtaining it.

As centuries pass, the prison was slowly weakening. Dark whispers had slowly escaped and started reaching out to the humans. One human who was unlucky enough to hear it, became twisted with dark thoughts and soon became a follower for the evil force. Now that the old guardians are slowly weakening, who will protect the world from the evil force?"

There you go, after that the game starts off and the story get's deeper and deeper as you continue your journey. Feed back would be very appreciated ^^

I like it, as long as there's good backstory in the game, explaining the war a little more. But, I mean, it seems like "just another RPG story". Maybe Mother 3 spoiled me, but after that game, every other game just seems so soulless to me, including yours. But your game probably isn't even meant to rip your soul out of your chest, so I think it's okay. I don't think I can offer too much criticism other than that.

Yeah I guess it does sound like another RPG story, and being a fantasy theme made it more obvious I guess cu'z there's so much RPG's nowadays its getting hard to be unique(or maybe its just me ) Oh and getting more details about the war and everything else will come as you progress through the game so I won't exactly be telling everything from the start

Kinda reminds me of the NES game Crystalis, what with the war of magic VS science, but that's really the only thing I see cliched about this, man. It sounds pretty cool to me, though.

It's won my approval, except for the whole "sealing" concept. That's been done one too many times. The rest of it, however, is great. I would like to see this game!

I get your point, I guess it does seem cliche But having both guys have the same stuff would look, common, so I tried going for it




As a FF fanatic I know it all too well But because I'm a sucker with that kind of story line I have no choice but to go with it

Thanks for the awesome reviews! Actually I've been working on the game By working I meant working everything up in my head and thinking whether to actually start making it

The story is nice, but there are some cliche concepts in there.
I think instead of looking at the warring nations and the dark nation so distantly, you should look directly at the people composing the nations.
In example, maybe the dark nation was once part of the magic nation, and it took one man and his cronies to split into a faction that grew into an evil-hearted nation of its own?
Then, it would not seem like such a distant idea that your character was killing or banishing the man who started the dark nation, rather than having to overpower the WHOLE dark nation...
I do like the science vs. magic thing even though it's been done, though, I must admit.
Also... given that the magic and machine nations join together at some point... I THINK THIS WOULD BE A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE YOUR CHARACTER A FLYING AIRSHIP POWERED BY MAGIC.
(just sayin'.)

Thanks for the posting, and I must say I agree with the whole cliche stuff. I've thought of it for a while and I was thinking of keeping the general storyline, but as you progress to the game, it's gonna show the deeper story behind the war, the evil force, and stuff, which I won't post and hopefully it'll work out. I'm liking the magic powered airship, I might try adding it ^^ if I can try spriting it(or ripping )

It's funny how your name for the "magical race" is almost identical to mine. Also, a lot of generic concepts here but they should work if you pull them off the right way.