Dec 18 2010, 07:12 AM
So i wrote this post a few days ago, it was about a game or story where the character of Devil May Cry meet Final Fantasy, Now i know that FF outnumber DMC by far so here is the characters i decided to have:
Virgil VS Squall
Dante VS Cloud
Trish VS Tifa
Lady VS Yuna
OK, So here i go, OH! And please note my Writing skills aren't that good
Dante, The son of the legendary demon hero Sparda, And Virgil, the 2nd son of Sparda, who was once defeated by hes brother in the demon world, where he perished in the demonic flames, but has rose again, with vengeance in mind.
At Dantes shop "Devil May Cry" business was slow, so slow he decided it was time to go and get a pizza, he rose from he's chair, stretched, and began to head for the front door, when the phone rang, with a smile, Dante picked up the phone and asked "Hello there! The legendary demon slayer Dante here, what can i help ya with?"
There was know answer, so he repeated, yet still no answer, annoyed Dante went to put the phone down, when he heard "Hello! P-P-Please help m-m-me" Dante quickly responded "Hello?" the voice replied with "This t-t-t-hing fell from the sky, Im so scared".
Dante was worried it may be Virgil, so he comforted the caller before saying "I'll be as fast i can" and with that he threw the phone down before sprinting for the door, Where a hooded man stood, "Hmm, Hey man, ill be with you in a minute, i got some business down at the station" Dante hastily said.
"Oh but im going the same way, my wife's down there so i got worried" the man mysteriously replied, in a rush, Dante complied, and warned "Yeah..but just stay out the way right? I dont want your blood on my hands" and sped off.
It was quite a while before Dante realised he could of took he's motorbike ....
AND ILL BE BACK WITH MORE!
Dont hold back with the nasty criticism, after all, this is the first time I've done this so i can only get better, also i kind of rushed with this so its a little off in some places.
EDIT: I just realised if you put the characters Lady and Yuna together it says "Lady Yuna" Just saying
Dec 18 2010, 09:10 AM
Bro, this was one of the most stupid things I have ever read. I have a fiery dislike for Final Fantasy, and I never played Devil May Cry (though I do want to.) Please don't take this comment as a mere insult, take this is my lovely opinion and constructive criticism.
Dec 18 2010, 09:41 AM
Thanks Albino (I Think)
And i did say i cant write that good, or is it the fact that Final Fantasy are involved?
Out of breath, yet determined to get there, he kept on running, with the hooded man close behind, when they finally reached the station, all they could see was what could be compared to a Volcano's aftermath, fire everywhere.
Dante took a moment to gather himself, and realised he had forgotten hes pistols, Ebony and Ivory, but luckily, still had he's sword, he looked up to see the hooded man standing in front of him, removing hes hood, to reveal the thing Dante worried about the most, hes brother...Virgil, Dante, still out of breath and with a tone of shock shouted "Virgil?"
Virgil smirked, before saying "Glad to see me brother" then turning around to face the disastrous scene behind him, "Wish i could take credit for this" he said then turning to an astonished Dante, who, filled with rage and anguish, suddenly attempted to strike Virgil, Virgil easily managed to avoid the blade, Dante went to speak, but hes voice was covered by the sudden sound of sirens and gunfire.
Then Dante thought "Wait!" and then proceeded "if it isn't you Virge, then who is it?" the two brothers then looked at the line of fire, only to see two faint figures, Dante blurted out "Wow the one on the right has cool hair!"
Virgil took out hes sword, the Yamato, and proceeded towards the two figures, Dante joked "You gone to introduce your self then?" and followed Virgil, when Dante caught up to Virgil, he looked again towards the shadowed figures.
PART TWO's Finished, PART THREE Coming soon
Dec 18 2010, 09:50 AM
There really isn't enough yet for it to be judged well imo. You have an intro, which I think is alright so far, but one can't really have a really good or bad opinion on your fan fic till after the story truely blooms.
Also, this isn't really the best forum section for a fanfic, try getting it moved to the art/lit section, you will probably get better feedback there, and less spam.
Dec 18 2010, 10:05 AM
Will do Omnial, Part 2's out ya know
Dec 18 2010, 11:20 AM
The writing errors and overall presentation are bad and looked rushed, yes, but admitting to these things doesn't excuse it. You can't expect everyone to take time to read what you've done if you don't take time yourself to create something involving.
I've never played a DMC game, I'm not much of a FF fan, and I can't stand fan fiction, but my biases aside, it's the bland/rushed style here that fails to pull me in what-so-ever.
Dec 18 2010, 11:38 AM
Fair enough, id also like to add, i have never written anything like a story before unless its at school ;D
From close analysis, Dante saw that both figures looked human, that didn't stop the fact that he was still totally freaked out, yet Virgil looked the same as ever, so ready he even dared approach the mysterious men, face to face with the mysterious men, Virgil didn't even shudder, one of the men noticed Virgil and leapt back at the sight of him, Dante laughed "I know he ugly, but not THAT ugly c'mon" and also began to approach them.
One of the men offered to go somewhere a little quieter and talk there, Dante and Virge and the 4th man agreed, and with that they ran, whilst running Dante noticed one of the man Colossal sword, He complimented "Thats a big sword you got there, i wonder if you now how to use it" and laughed, whilst the other replied "You'll find out soon enough" Dante's face suddenly went straight, he though in hes head, that these guys, considering what they went through, seemed very experienced and prepared.
They kept on running until they came across a roof, that's where the questions started:
"Who are you" Dante demanded
"were not from here, but you already knew that" one man said
"Your names" Virgil softly questioned
"Well, im Squall, nice to meet you"
"And im Cloud, i wish i could say the same as my 'Friend' here, but im not to kind to people, who I've never met"
"HOW did you get here" Dante shouted
"we know no more than you do, now if you done with the 20 Questions, we best be off" Cloud said coldly
And with that they fled.
"but it was only 3 question" Dante said bluntly, "NO TIME TO CRY" Virgil shouted, He's tone of voice sounded worried, as if he heard something he didn't want to hear...
PART THREE FINISHED,
And i cant repeat enough, i have never done this stuff, this is my first fan fic, im not all that into writing...
Dec 23 2010, 08:31 AM
OK, most people would find this as a Joy or a Shame, i will most likely not finish this off because i realised "Hey, i have a game that needs finishing!"
Jan 26 2011, 01:27 AM
Hey there. New here. If you been to Gaming World you might know me, but im hardly active there right now, and I prolly wont be extremly active here either. With college eating up half of my time, and drawing / game making taking up the rest... Oh, theres sleeping too, but I usually do it at college, so these categories are kind of together.
Oh and please point out if I do stupid grammatical mistakes, im not so good in english yet, but I try. I mean, I hate it when people massacre MoliÃ¨res' tongue, so you guys prolly hate it when one massacres Shakespeares'.
(Tough MoliÃ¨re would kick Shakespeares' ass anyday. If they wernt both dead, I mean)
Yeah, so Im an artist, and a Game Maker user. Im taking a computer science course at college, and as I know basics of programming already thanks to Game Maker, its a breeze so far. So I recommand this college course to anyone whose familliar with GML, the gap really isnt too wide between both worlds. Its still present, tough.
Like most people I guess, I can't finish most of my projects, since halfway through im always struck by another, better idea. That can be pretty annoying alright. But I did finish ONE project, Sluggy's Adventure, wich is pretty good, but I wish I could somehow work on it some more, since its creeping with bugs, and the art in it is horrible. I did it quite a long time ago, and I improved alot since then.
Im right now working on a huge project with someone else. Looking at the best games that are currently out, and comparing them to how utterly awesome our project is so far, its safe to assume it will blow up the very fabric of reality when its out. But now, wether we will actually finish the project someday or not is another story.
Oh and if this forum gets religious, existential, philosophic, artistic, musical or litterature-type debates and arguments (flame wars? Naah), expect me to drop my two cents. Hiek hiek hiek.
Jan 26 2011, 10:48 AM
This is not the place to post dude xD it is rather useful though, post it in the correct place next time :3
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