Relationship help, sigh Options

[Spirit_Master_X]

So me and my girlfriend has been together for about four months now, but I have an issue. She may or may not have a crush on one of my closest friends. About two months back she told me she had a crush on him before that was only temporary. But ever since out of everyone in our group of friends she talks to him the most. She mainly goes to him for advice and to vent about me. She seems to really enjoy his company. He tells her everything that is right when she vents to him. She texts him, calls him on occasion, msgs him on facebook, she even mentions her boobs to him at one point...and she didnt even tell me, i found out for myself. But the both of them swears up and down that there is nothing between them. She told me constantly that she sees him as a sister...but I don't know. Me and him been friends since elementary school, and she only gotten to know him last year. I don't know how they developed such a strong friendship out of nowhere but it worries me. I accused her plenty of times about having a crush on him and it made her cry at times and made her sad. I don't want to keep bringing up the subject, because that will eventually push her away to him. I just don't know what to do. Recently, I vowed to never let that insecurity get the best of me until she playfully pulled his hair and that kinda sparked my insecurity back up again. I know insecurity is bad in a relationship...but can you blame me??? She even msged him several times back to back to back to back on Xbox Live without using a keyboard. She literally typed in everything...who has that much patience??? I don't know...

There were times when I felt like the third wheel and I would lean against a wall and watch the two of them talk and saw that they had great chemistry. She says she loves me and would never do anything to hurt me...but I'm just scared. Couples tell each other that all the time, and you will never expect the cutest couple in the world to cheat on one another, or just openly admits they have a crush on someone else.
It's almost like...he is the second in line. Also at one moment my friend met another girl and my girlfriend seemed a tad bit jealous because she wanted to so badly see them together and wanted them to be happy and just be involved in their relationship. I'm just so tired of feeling like this so I need STRONG advice and some real truth here. Am I wrong? or is she? are we both wrong? Should I just eliminate myself from this relationship so she can be free with talking to him more??? I don't know.

This post has been edited by Spirit_Master_X: Nov 12 2012, 11:06 PM

[Magical_RuNE_Kni...]

Hmm. Im a girl myself too, and idk, i kind of do think she kinda likes him.
Like i would never tell a guy stuff like that or especially touch his hair if i didnt like him.
Ive never actually even met/ heard of a girl who plays with a guys hair unless she likes him. O.o >.<

If theres one thing that is clear though, its that ur unhappy with the relationship. U admitted that urself right?
Another conclusion: U dont seem to be completely happy with ur girlfriend either. U admitted that as well too correct?

it might be a good idea to ask urself why ur staying in the relationship then. If it isnt out of love, what is it?
If ur staying in the relationship because ur hoping she'll come back to u, ur not living ur life the way it could be. U r living, waiting on a hope, that may or may not happen. U may even have to wait until 20 years later before she wants to get back w/ u. What then though? Do u think u will likely still love her and accept her after those 20 years?

Heres a third conclusion: u are unhappy, correct? U also want to solve the situation correct? That is something u admitted as well.


Looking at all this and at what can be concluded, I honestly think it would prolly be best for u two to maybe spend some time apart. If u stay in the relationship, i think the odds of u two getting more friction will only increase. I also think the odds of the relationship worsening instead of recovering will grow, as i think u also reported.
I really do not think u got into this relationship to be unhappy and dislike it. That may be how it is now though, and u can choose to stick with being unhappy or show that u can be just as happy w/ someone else or on ur own : p either way, it is not a very healthy relationship.


P.s: my dad once told me a story about a dog and a nail; the dog was sitting on an old nail in pain, until one day a man passed by.
The man saw the dog and asked the owner why the dog didnt move off the nail. The owner said, "it doesnt hurt enough for the dog to want to".
: )