Relationship help, sigh Options

[Spirit_Master_X]

So me and my girlfriend has been together for about four months now, but I have an issue. She may or may not have a crush on one of my closest friends. About two months back she told me she had a crush on him before that was only temporary. But ever since out of everyone in our group of friends she talks to him the most. She mainly goes to him for advice and to vent about me. She seems to really enjoy his company. He tells her everything that is right when she vents to him. She texts him, calls him on occasion, msgs him on facebook, she even mentions her boobs to him at one point...and she didnt even tell me, i found out for myself. But the both of them swears up and down that there is nothing between them. She told me constantly that she sees him as a sister...but I don't know. Me and him been friends since elementary school, and she only gotten to know him last year. I don't know how they developed such a strong friendship out of nowhere but it worries me. I accused her plenty of times about having a crush on him and it made her cry at times and made her sad. I don't want to keep bringing up the subject, because that will eventually push her away to him. I just don't know what to do. Recently, I vowed to never let that insecurity get the best of me until she playfully pulled his hair and that kinda sparked my insecurity back up again. I know insecurity is bad in a relationship...but can you blame me??? She even msged him several times back to back to back to back on Xbox Live without using a keyboard. She literally typed in everything...who has that much patience??? I don't know...

There were times when I felt like the third wheel and I would lean against a wall and watch the two of them talk and saw that they had great chemistry. She says she loves me and would never do anything to hurt me...but I'm just scared. Couples tell each other that all the time, and you will never expect the cutest couple in the world to cheat on one another, or just openly admits they have a crush on someone else.
It's almost like...he is the second in line. Also at one moment my friend met another girl and my girlfriend seemed a tad bit jealous because she wanted to so badly see them together and wanted them to be happy and just be involved in their relationship. I'm just so tired of feeling like this so I need STRONG advice and some real truth here. Am I wrong? or is she? are we both wrong? Should I just eliminate myself from this relationship so she can be free with talking to him more??? I don't know.

This post has been edited by Spirit_Master_X: Nov 12 2012, 11:06 PM

[X-M-O]

Shaddowval has a great perspective, and some good advice. ^^

From my perspective, as a girl, I see your girlfriend as being a real friend to this other guy, and most probably not in a romantic way. I say this because I know that I always feel more secure and flirty around friends that I feel no romantic attachment for. And yes, almost every girl I know will flirt a little just to see what response we get out of you (as a guy, to see if you care). However, we do this naturally and do not mean anything by it, so if you accuse us of becoming "too friendly" with another guy, of course it would make us cry. =\
We want you to be proud of us, and we want you to be our man. If we flirt with someone else don't sit on the sidelines, confront us in n indirect way by pulling us aside and flirting with us.
We naturally feel less secure around the one we have real feelings for, and obviously you do as well, but as a girl we will generally not take the lead in the relationship (depending on our personality and life experience) and so you will have to overcome your insecurity and also overcome your jealousy (despite the fact that we will likely make you jealous very often). It isn't 100% on purpose, as it is a natural thing to do that we really don't give much thought to, but your reaction to that affects us greatly. You have to make that insecurity go away by making us feel comfortable and secure around you (in public and in private) so making any form of accusation, true or not, should be saved for the times when it is really important. I know that as a girl I will take a guy in every argument without thinking, it's my nature to do that, however guys generally are very good at "choosing battles" and only fighting those that really matter (to both partners in a relationship).
So, basically what I'm saying is, don't read too much into the flirting with the friend and don't lash out based on that jealousy/insecurity as it would definitely turn me away. If your girlfriend does love you, then she will forgive you for most of the things you say, but she will never forget it - so it's best not to create scenarios that you wouldn't want her remembering. =]

One last note: don't be so clingy to her. This situation sounds to me as if you are being too clingy. There is a line where "close" becomes "overbearing". Don't cross that line or you will lose her.

I hope that helps and makes sense, and I know my perspective isn't the best and possibly doesn't completely apply to her personality or yours, but hopefully it was somewhat helpful.