Relationship help, sigh Options

[Spirit_Master_X]

So me and my girlfriend has been together for about four months now, but I have an issue. She may or may not have a crush on one of my closest friends. About two months back she told me she had a crush on him before that was only temporary. But ever since out of everyone in our group of friends she talks to him the most. She mainly goes to him for advice and to vent about me. She seems to really enjoy his company. He tells her everything that is right when she vents to him. She texts him, calls him on occasion, msgs him on facebook, she even mentions her boobs to him at one point...and she didnt even tell me, i found out for myself. But the both of them swears up and down that there is nothing between them. She told me constantly that she sees him as a sister...but I don't know. Me and him been friends since elementary school, and she only gotten to know him last year. I don't know how they developed such a strong friendship out of nowhere but it worries me. I accused her plenty of times about having a crush on him and it made her cry at times and made her sad. I don't want to keep bringing up the subject, because that will eventually push her away to him. I just don't know what to do. Recently, I vowed to never let that insecurity get the best of me until she playfully pulled his hair and that kinda sparked my insecurity back up again. I know insecurity is bad in a relationship...but can you blame me??? She even msged him several times back to back to back to back on Xbox Live without using a keyboard. She literally typed in everything...who has that much patience??? I don't know...

There were times when I felt like the third wheel and I would lean against a wall and watch the two of them talk and saw that they had great chemistry. She says she loves me and would never do anything to hurt me...but I'm just scared. Couples tell each other that all the time, and you will never expect the cutest couple in the world to cheat on one another, or just openly admits they have a crush on someone else.
It's almost like...he is the second in line. Also at one moment my friend met another girl and my girlfriend seemed a tad bit jealous because she wanted to so badly see them together and wanted them to be happy and just be involved in their relationship. I'm just so tired of feeling like this so I need STRONG advice and some real truth here. Am I wrong? or is she? are we both wrong? Should I just eliminate myself from this relationship so she can be free with talking to him more??? I don't know.

This post has been edited by Spirit_Master_X: Nov 12 2012, 11:06 PM

[Shaddow]

@licentia - Have you ever actually tried that? Has it EVER worked for you? I'm sorry, but that is the worst possible way for him to keep his relationship OR his friendship, if he does something so blatantly mean, he's going to lose everything. I admit, there are times for direct questioning and even sometimes tests, but for him to try any of those things would be a sign that he does not care about her or his friend and only his own blind jealousy matters.

I'm sorry, but that was just plain bad advice.

[Licentia Per Ori...]

@licentia - Have you ever actually tried that? Has it EVER worked for you? I'm sorry, but that is the worst possible way for him to keep his relationship OR his friendship, if he does something so blatantly mean, he's going to lose everything. I admit, there are times for direct questioning and even sometimes tests, but for him to try any of those things would be a sign that he does not care about her or his friend and only his own blind jealousy matters.

I'm sorry, but that was just plain bad advice.

how is any of it blatantly mean?

Kissing your girlfriend in front of your mate who has "no romantic intentions" towards her is mean?

Getting your mate some secks is mean?

Getting your mate a girlf friend who will give him lots and lots and lots of attention (plus 3 kids if he's not carefull ) is mean?

the final option mite be mean, but not really in the grand scheme of things. but all you're really doing is giving the "friend" an opportunity to be an asshole. It requires him to be an asshole all by himself
(you can't con an honest john!)

also, he doesn't sound like much of a friend.
friend one: "hey man, I'm not really feeling the way you and my girl are getting all close"
friend two "OK man cool. You don't need to worry, but i'll make sure she is definitely not on me in that way, she doesn't like people who tell racist jokes right?"

Thats what a friend would say. If this guy was a friend, then the OP wouldn't even exist.

but yea, you know. the other option is to focus on the girl, while giving this "friend" complete free reign to set himself up and position himself to get closer and closer to her.
see how that works out.