story idea Options

[Iperks]

WAR-CRY
2300 years ago when evil still roamed earth and there were many kingdoms, some small some covering massive chunks of their region. In this world was kingdom that went by the name of Commonwealth of Shires. In this kingdom was a massive army and within that army was one of the few one of the best one of the hated the Meta’s. With only about 20 Meta’s left one of these by the name of Grimoire Griffon This meta had been recruited by the king at the age of 14 after his parents tried to kill him and he was left alone in the back allies’ of the kingdom. Grimoire Griffon went off against armies with only 20 other men and 1 other Meta. After 20 years and over 50 victories Grimoire Griffon found a secret. A secret he should have never have found. What he found was that was his precious kingdom he fought for and protected for was with the evil and for the evil. All those battles he fought were only tests and as he searched more he found out the other meta his only friend out of the entire kingdom had been killed to use for testing. He soon fled to the town of Hameshtern a small village more north to the region. Even after he escaped the king had order hundreds of men and assassin and all that he could, looking to kill him for what he knew. His village was soon burned and looted as he fled to the next region and had hidden throughout the kingdoms each time barley escaping. As time went on this as they called meta knight was soon consumed by the fear and soon found himself at an enemy camp where he found other metas used and now contained to strengthen the evil into a unknowns biological mixture of pure evil and goodness into a uncontrollable mega evil. Now Grimoire Griffon fled to the nearest kingdom training supplying finding what he could using what he could because as he knew he had to do what no else could he had to face this ravage evil and fight it off as he had in the past. So now he had set off in search for the 20 mega creatures to kill and restore the metas but he also has over time created enemy’s and has to deal with asassins and armies against him. But along this he found hidden metas and other people willing to help and soon becomes great friends with these newly found partners. But as he pushes forward his friends soon die one by one to where there are 2 left and one last mega evil. In this battle the last Meta facing the brink of death but was save but his older friends and was healed and the boss stunned and weakened to fight. Near the end the last mega evil unleashes his final blow killing him and your friend who protect you in the battle and now you are alone all over again everything is lost for you but you have saved what is left but now another evil is rising but that is a story yet to be told.

[ZarroTsu]

2300 years ago when evil still roamed earth

Because, as we all know, "evil" is a sentient being. People don't do bad things because they have to! PSSH that's just silly!

In this kingdom was a massive army and within that army was one of the few one of the best one of the hated the Meta’s.

The best at what? I can't even tell what this grammar is meant to be afflicting. The best at being hated? The best at combat? The best at magic? The best at knitting?

With only about 20 Meta’s left

Why? If they're the best, why the heck wouldn't people aspire to be them? Why would they have loses? They aren't really "the best" if they die just as casually as any other army. Unless there are very few knitting wars.

Grimoire Griffon

THE BOOK BIRD.

This meta had been recruited by the king at the age of 14 after his parents tried to kill him and he was left alone in the back allies’ of the kingdom.

MARYSUE ALERT. MARYSUE ALERT.

How the hell do you fail to kill a 14 year old? Did they just ditch him in a back ally and assume he'd die? Okay, fair enough, but why did they attempt to kill him? Poverty? Taxes? BeCaUsE tHeY wErE eViL? Pretty damn shallow. But okay, let's go with it, this dude's a street rat.

Grimoire Griffon went off against armies with only 20 other men and 1 other Meta.

Boy, it's a good thing you gave us all the information behind these 21 men, their beliefs, who they're fighting for, why they're fighting against such horrifying odds, and whether or not they even like BOOK BIRD or not. Is BOOK BIRD suppose to be the badassiest dude ever? Is he a Mary-Sue? Why does the "other Meta" give a fuck enough to stick around if he's suppose to be a badass dude too? WELP ENOUGH OF THAT PLOT POINT *throws paper ball out the window*

What he found was that was his precious kingdom he fought for and protected for was with the evil and for the evil.

EVIL HOW!? Did they kill a lot of people? Do they snap the necks of babies to fuel their tanks? Does their head office listen to Justin Beiber un-ironically? "EVIL" IS NOT JUST SOME MAGICAL THING THAT HAPPENS. PEOPLE DO BAD THINGS WHEN THEY ARE FORCED TO DO BAD THINGS. NOBODY WAKES UP ONE DAY AND SAYS "TODAY I'M GOING TO BE EVIL!". EVERYONE IS THE HERO OF THEIR OWN STORY. EVERYONE. THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY ARE RIGHT, BUT IT MEANS THAT TO GET TO THEIR GOALS THEY MIGHT NEED TO DO SOME THINGS THAT ARE PERCEIVED AS EVIL BY OTHER PEOPLE, BUT IF THE END JUSTIFIES THE MEANS THEY'D DO IT BECAUSE THEY HAD TO. THEY THINK THEY ARE THE GOOD GUY, WHETHER OR NOT THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS SO.

YOU ARE NOT CLEVER BY CALLING SOMETHING "EVIL" BECAUSE YOU WANT THEM TO BE EVIL. THAT IS BAD STORYTELLING.

All those battles he fought were only tests and as he searched more he found out the other meta his only friend out of the entire kingdom had been killed to use for testing.

Testing for what? The knitted sweaters they made? "They said one size fits all... THEY LIED ;_; *dead*"

Even after he escaped the king had order hundreds of men and assassin and all that he could, looking to kill him for what he knew.

This seems like a pretty good way of openly revealing the 'secret' of them being 'evil'. Just send one dude to poison his drinks at a pub. Problem fucking solved. NO LET'S THROW COUNTLESS RESOURCES AT ONE DUDE JUST TO PROVE HE'S RIGHT AS OPPOSED TO EITHER IGNORING HIM OR KILLING HIM ACCIDENTALLY, THAT'S THE BEST IDEA.

meta knight

soon found himself at an enemy camp where he found other metas used and now contained to strengthen the evil into a unknowns biological mixture of pure evil and goodness into a uncontrollable mega evil.

You're... You're serious? This isn't parody? You seriously thought that this sounded like a good idea in your head, and you wanted to make a forum topic wherein you'd STATE this.

That's it, I'm narrating this on youtube later today. This is GOLD.

Near the end the last mega evil unleashes his final blow killing him and your friend who protect you in the battle and now you are alone all over again everything is lost for you but you have saved what is left but now another evil is rising but that is a story yet to be told.

So our protagonist has absolutely nothing to do with the penultimate storyline except some cheap revenge clause, which, mind you, would be perceived as 'evil' by a hell of a lot of people, sort of ruining your idea that 'evil' is an entity as opposed to a perception. And, mind you, BOOK BIRD's journey to this point sounds a heck of a lot more interesting than some newbie mary-sue pussy-footing around to finish someone else's business against their will, just because you wanted a character you could put yourself into because you wanted to be an hero yourself.

In short, what the hell did I just read?

This post has been edited by ZarroTsu: Nov 4 2012, 07:10 AM