Blessed Eternia Novelization, This is a book, could use some feedback Options

[Shaddow]

So, first off, not sure if I can actually post this here, but I didn't see anything saying otherwise. This is an incomplete novel of Blessed Eternia which is the same world, but not same story as my current game project of the same name. I am kind of at a loss of how to continue, so I'm hoping you can all give some feedback that might kick start my brain.

I'm uploading a link as this is over 100 pages in Microsoft Word. Now I realize not everyone has office or Word, so I'm also posting a version of it in Open Office, I hope you can read one of those two, if another format is needed, let me know and I'll upload. Anyways a bit of history on the story:

Long ago, a massive war raged between the two great kingdoms; Kulmore in the north, lead by Chiran, and Culhearth in the south lead by Camalain and his wife. The war raged for many hundreds of years with no clear victor, that is, until Chiran got a hold of the fabled crystal Blessed Eternia, which is thought to be responsible for all the magic in the world.

This sudden shift in power caused Kulmore to quickly take over many key locations including the mortal and neutral Borderlands. This brought a group of heroes called the Mortal revolutionary army to the fray, using the intense willpower and tactics, the Mortal Revolutionary Army pushed Kulmore back into the captial city of Shaddowval(), and a small band of heroes confronted Chiran himself.

During the resulting fight a massive explosion rocked Kulmore and a purple miasma coated the land, causing poison for anyone possessing magic. It is unknown what happened to those heroes or Chiran, but they have not been seen since. That was twenty-two years ago, and the small and peaceful village of Sendon is about to experience a devastating repeat of history.

I hope that was enough to entice you all to give this a try!

Download Link: http://www.mediafire.com/?7hn7t21n1a1ogap

[X-M-O]

There is an inconsistency in the time-line, or at least there appears to be, where you mentioned: "after nearly five years Kulmore was pushed back to their capital of Shaddowval. Denrick came back to visit his family one last time before the final assault". It is confusing that the twin boys are only around 3 years old based on this sentence.
Maybe it just isn't mentioned correctly, but I wanted to point that out in case the time-line is correct, but perhaps it is just unclear in the writing. =]

One thing I'd like to mention is that you should likely have the children aged 5 or 6. based on their conversations in the story (3-year old children may be able to talk, but I doubt they would do half of what you've described these young boys as doing). =\