(PD)Eternal Wish - White Wishes Options

[medabots1996]

Title Screen (Completed...Finally)

Quietis Villa

Save/Load File Selection

Save/Load Screen

Battle Sample

Latest Forest Scene

A house (Indoor)

Main Menu (Now more dynamic)


OST Example
OST Video
Actualy Gameplay/Scenes
Opening Scene

Celianna for her wonderful tilesets
Moghunter for his wonderful scripts (Including Title, Menu Configuration and Battle System)
Lunarae for her wonderful tilesets & objects
Hanzo Kimura for his wonderful Tilesets and Inspiration
Ying for the best trees ever made
Yami for her overlay scripts
Azell,Ishimoto for wonderful music out there
Claimh for his 8-dir movement script
Kagaya for his Wonderful Images
Tsukihime for the summoning script

Download Demo - Beta Version V0.1 - Mediafire Link - Size 297.53Mb
Part1
Part2
Part3
How to download: Press the link then wait for 10 seconds, and press Skip Ad to move to the download page

Eternal Wish - White Wishes's Facebook Fanpage - Here
Eternal Wish - White Wishes's Official Site - N/A (At the moment)

Support Us By Pasting The Code Below Into Your Signature
Support Bar (New Version)

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[url=http://www.rpgmakervxace.net/topic/2967-eternal-wish-white-wishes/][IMG]http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc301/medabots1996/Eternal%20Wish%20-%20White%20Wishes/SupportBar.png[/IMG][/url]

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[url=http://www.rpgmakervxace.net/topic/2967-eternal-wish-white-wishes/][IMG]http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc301/medabots1996/Eternal%20Wish%20-%20White%20Wishes/SupportBar3_1.png[/IMG][/url]

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[url=http://gamedevcenter.tk][IMG]http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc301/medabots1996/Eternal%20Wish%20-%20White%20Wishes/SupportBar2.png[/IMG][/url]

Genre: Fantasy
Engine: RPG Maker VX Ace
Progress: Finished the first area (1% Done in mapping)
Known Bugs: Unknown

This post has been edited by medabots1996: Jun 2 2012, 11:21 PM

[amerk]

Very nice job with the presentation, medabots. The layout looks very appealing and this seems like it will make for an excellent game. Good luck with the project; I've gone ahead and moved it over to PD for you.

[X-M-O]

I think you completely get the idea of presentation. This game topic has very nice presentation. =]

One thing that is difficult about having the presentation done this way is editing the grammar/spelling or updating certain text within the topic (can't just click the edit button, lol).
Anyway, I caught a few spelling mistakes/typos in there that I felt you might want to know about (considering how important the presentation seems to be to you). ^^

[Show/Hide] Noticeable Spelling/Grammar Errors

In the above image's text:
- "It's also me second project" should be: "It's also my second project".
- Need to insert a comma between the bold words: "...the very first game which was released 3 years ago..."; or you could use the word "that" instead of "which".
- Also, the last sentence needs revising: "... Chronicles Of The Light, also contains many great new features, Eternal Wish..." should be: "...Chronicles Of The Light, as well as containing many new and great features, Eternal Wish...".



In the above image's text:
- "The game itself begin in the world of..." should be: "The game begins in the world of...". (Using "itself" is redundant.)
- Whilst I won't particularly question the reason, it's difficult to describe Elunia as a world and then turn right around and call it an island. I think that needs to be something you decide on, as it isn't really a spelling or grammar error; it just sounds like a contradiction. (Unless Elunia is the name of the planet and the name of the island; being the only island on the planet. Though again, that sounds odd.)
- Recommendation: change "...where the people wield a special power..." to "...where the inhabitants wield a special power..."
- You need to put a space after the period of this sentence: "...special power called: Syphon.Syphon's origin...".
- "Syphon's origin came from the human's heart" needs to be changed to: "Syphon's origin comes from the human heart". (If it "came" from the human heart, that would imply that it did at one time and no longer does. Using "human's" is improper because ownership is implied when you use "human" as a adjective; no need for the "apostrophe + s". Note that if you want to clarify that it comes from all human hearts, then you could reword it to say "from human hearts" by removing the word "the" and making heart plural.)
- You need to put a space after the period of this sentence: "...the human's heart.That means...".
- "That means, the stronger a human's feeling and thoughts, the stronger his Syphon" needs a few changes for clarity and needs to have a period at the end of the sentence. Here is my recommendation for the sentence's contents: "The stronger the thoughts and emotions of a human is, the stronger their Syphon is". Or "Thus, a human that exhibits strong thoughts and emotions will have that strength reflected in their Syphon".
- "...mysterious creature appear on Elunia..." should be: "...mysterious creatures appeared on Elunia". (Note that I would also recommend that you use "at" or "in" instead of "on" in that sentence, unless the planet is actually called "Elunia"; you don't appear on a location, you appear at or in a location.)
- Remove the word "a" in the following sentence: "...appearance was like a black mist...".
- "...burning red eyes..." should be: "...fiery red eyes...". (The creatures' eyes might look like fire, but I doubt they are literally burning and causing the creatures pain.)
- Combine these two sentences: "...red eyes. Their power brings..." to "...red eyes, and their power brings...".
- Recommendation: decide what these creatures destroyed and use a more sensible phrase than "the destruction of everything"; if they had truly destroyed everything, then there would be no story, no Neo, and no game to make based on that story and character. I don't know enough about Elunia to tell you what you should put there instead, however here are some examples of things that you might find useful: the capital city of Elunia, many historical or cultural landmarks, all of the eastern villages, half of the most populated cities, the western farmlands, the temples of Elunia, the royal family, etc.
- You need to put a space after the period of this sentence: "...of everything.They are called...".
- "Many and many brave warriors had fought against The Losts, but in the end, the result is deaths" should be: "Many brave warriors had fought against The Losts, but in the end, they were killed". (Or you could say, "...The Losts, but no warrior was strong enough and they were all defeated", or something similar.)
- You need to put a space after the period of this sentence: "...result is deaths.As time move on...".
- "As time move on, The Losts also evolve, bringing chaos to Elunia" should be: "As time passed, The Losts evolved, which brought chaos to Elunia". (You also need to add a period at the end of that sentence.)
- "...whose power in Syphon is..." should be: "...whose Syphon power is...".
- Neo's power is "exceptionally stronger than others", but you don't mention which "others" you are talking about. This might need a little clarity. For example, "others" could be "any other humans" or "any other creatures". I'm assuming that you are talking about his peers (which would be a specific group of "other humans"). If you mean that Neo is more powerful than any other humans, then you might want to make that clear (and possibly give a reason as to why this is - not directly/immediately, but later on in the game/story; I don't mean for you to give away any game secrets in your post, lol).
- You need to put a space after the period of this sentence: "...stronger than others.However, his...".
- "...his pasts is lost as if they've never happened..." should be: "...his past memories are lost to him, as if they had never happened".
- You need to put a space after the period of this sentence: "...never happened.Not only that...".
- "...a nightmare over many years as it's trying..." should be: "...a nightmare for many years, as it's trying...".
- You need to put a space after the period of this sentence: "...tell him something.Filled with...".
- "Filled with curiousity, he set out on his own journey..." should be: "...Filled with curiosity, he set out on a personal journey...". (You also need to put a period at the end of that sentence.)
- "What's there waiting for Neo as he journey to find his pasts, and what is the true origins of The Losts" should be: "What awaits Neo as he journeys in search of his past? What is the true origin of The Losts?".
- You need to put a space after the period of this sentence: "...of The Losts.Find out as you...".
- You also need to add a period after the last sentence in the above image.

That's really all I have the time to go through; there is a lot of text, lol.
I would recommend having someone go through your game to check for similar errors (it appears as though English might not be your first language, which is fine, but it is very obvious to English-speaking readers when those types of grammatical errors are made - and it could be problematic for them to understand everything that is taking place in the game when they are playing the game). =]

I hope that helps out, and I didn't want to cause you any trouble; just being helpful in a way that I know how to be, lol.
It was also random to do this, so I feel bad about doing it and I should probably not do it again.

[Lato]

Hmm I havent messed around with ace yet, but you have emotional story as a special feature? The layout looks really nice but I don't know how practical the info is, I would just leave that part out and let the story do the talking.

[medabots1996]

@Amerk: Eh? Really thanks for your comments ^.^
@X-M-O: Thanks for your comments and grammar errors that you point out for me, I'm not a native english speaker, so it's kinda hard to keep everything right, but I'll surely fix it when I have a chance ^.^ I really do appreciate your attention for my project!

[Strawberry]

Hello!

You have a great presentation - it instantly draws the player in! However, the logo is a little hard to read and the font can get that way too. o.o

I shall now comment on your characters (I didn't read the actual story). The facesets you are using a bit overused - meaning I've seen them used a lot, which unfortunately don't make your characters as original as they should be. Though I understand if you're not a good artist and that's all you have. ^^;

I think the fact that Neo has amnesia, should only be done if you write it just right. A lot of classical RPGs use this for their heroes, but that was back when... Um... I don't know where I'm going with this thought actually. Lols. I'm little worried that it could be tooooo cliche, but I want to see how you present in game first. I wasn't really suprised that the only girls listed here were mages/healers. Now, I personally love female healers (when I play MMO's or certain WRPGs, that's what I do), but there must be a way to make it interesting!

Now I'm not really going to comment on how each character has their own element (I mean some of my favorite games did this - Legend of Dragoon for example), but I think that having their personalities match their Syphon is a bit... too coincidental? I don't know. o.o

Some of your features are not really features. If they were I would have more than 2 on my game. Lols.
* Emotional Story and Great Mapping - These are really up to each and every player themselves, and not you.
* Nature Interacting - This should probably be explained better. It's not good to expect everyone to have played your first game. ^^;

I really wouldn't use music from well known games, such as Chrono Cross. If you do not wish to use the RTP (in which I do not blame you at all), then maybe going to a site like Newgrounds or http://www.sakari-infinity.net/ for free RPG music. That's what I used to do. Or you could request a musician, and you may never know! One may want to help you! ^^

Lastly, I saw that you had a google-image picture used in the background of one of your menus. I think you should try using something much more simple. ^^ And maybe you could fool around with the saving/loading scripts to make them more original? I believe I have seen them around before in other games.

I hope my advice helps you improve! That's all I really want. ^^

As soon as I can, I might download your game and give it a try! :3

[supercow]

1.the logo looks good , but in preview of the Title Screen the colour of the logo and background kindda mesh together, and that made it hard to really appreciate the title screen + the brightness of those orb things is annoying because it draws your attention to it ,also, it made it harder to read/see the logo
2.the Save/Load Screen logo+background looks better
3. ive checked the ost video , the title screen there looks way better(to me could be better though if the moon is not that bright )
4.Quietis Villa/etc looks good, is that vx / vx ace tileset? OR you made it yourself?
5. the title screen pointer (the pointer to new game) the point looks way off
6. the new game/ continue might be better in different colour than blue OR make it have outer part white (or other colour you want) ,
+ might be better if the back of the newgame/continue and the newgame/continue itself is not at the same brightness
7. the main menu focus is everywhere , the background woods scenery is great , but i dont think it suited for the main menu
8. im not gonna touch on the story part, cuz i suck at story
9. the really amazing part is the presentation , and i think most of ppl here would agree
10. good luck

[medabots1996]

@Strawberry: I really appreciate your comments, it helped me alot. And yes, I'm not a good artist, in fact, I can't draw any image by hand, and yea... that's bad for a game designer right? And I don't use famous game's OSTs much, I mostly use my original soundtracks that I made and some rearranges. My goal is to create a new feeling for the players so that they will never feel bored of hearing the same track over and over again~
@Supercow: Thanks for the advice on the title screen as well as the menu, I'm reworking on those as well ^.^ Oh, and those tilesets are actually mixes between Hanzo Kimura's tilesets and others

So, here's the update: New Title Screen (With New Cursor!! and it's made in 3DS Max anyway)

The events are now interactable (I was testing it so I didn't release this feature in the Demo, because I'm afraid that it will cause extreme lag and crash)

New Menu Scene (I changed the wood scenery)


I'm open to feedbacks, and really thanks for everyone's attention to this small project of mine~ Arigatou~

[supercow]

-New Title Screen-
how about adding plate/ things on the logo so it could be seen better?
how about making the background less bright?
i tried it, something still not right though
make the title logo , newgame/continue/exit game more bright, so player can focus on those

[Show/Hide] test

The events are now interactable (I was testing it so I didn't release this feature in the Demo, because I'm afraid that it will cause extreme lag and crash)

i dont understand how an event can make lag/crash , OR more specific i dont understand what you mean by "interactable"
the tileset looks nice

-New Menu Scene-
looks a bit better in my opinion,
theres not too many things that lead to confusion on what to focus,
maybe next make the background a little less bright ? so the player can quickly focus and strife through the menu


to me, if theres something bright on the picture/computer screen it will immediately take focus of the player, so if theres too many things that have different brightness on certain part / they all bright, it will confuse the player (or maybe its just me )

[Strawberry]

@supercow

Too many events can make the computer lag, because it cannot handle everything that's going on.

@Thread

I still say you should change that logo to something a bit more legible. I still have to squint my eyes to read it. :|

But nice screens anyway!

[lethitax]

The boss sure was beefy.

Pretty interesting monster spawning system.

This post has been edited by lethitax: Jun 9 2012, 08:57 PM

[medabots1996]

Here's today's update (Sorry, I forgot that I posted my project on 3 websites...)

+New dungeon, its name is Silentium Caverna, this dungeon will be released along with the second demo (Which should be released soon enough). Here, you'll have to try your best to solve all of the puzzles to get to the boss and the exit, there are 3 types of puzzles that you'll meet
in this dungeon, but I won't spoil the fun (You'll have to find out what kind of puzzles they are from the demo)
+Voice Acting: Introducing voice systems, you can listen to an example from this website
CV Example

+New Faces added, now it's more Visual Novel - like with additional expressions added
+New BGM and BGS as well as SE Added, listen to an example here
BGM Example
+Some minor bugs fixed including
Summoning Bugs
Dialogue Bugs
Mapping Errors
+Added new skills including Summon Skills (Which can be acquired through Difficult Dungeons or Mini-Quests)
And many more to come
Stay tune!

[Rob_Riv]

I noticed there are a number of spelling and grammatical mistakes in your images of the text in your original post. Then, I noticed X-M-O point many of the mistakes out... and nearly three weeks later, all of the errors still seem to be there. I don't see why you'd use images for text, and then not ensure there were no errors.

It does not suggest good things for your demo. For example, in your latest demo screenshot, there's a lack of punctuation.

[Kaleb Daub]

whoa man real nice started playing and I think it is awesome.

[medabots1996]

Here's today's updates


Aftermath is now in play, now you can see clearly what you received from battles as well as how your stats changed after leveling up

Summon Skills (Currently, I'm still working on it)
Synthesis System and Mini-Quest System is ready as well (But I can't take picture for those systems though due to some difficulties)
Stay tune for more updates!

@mooshra: I'm glad that you enjoy the game ^.^ Stay tune as the 2nd demo is coming soon!
@Rob Riv: Thanks for your comments, but I just wanted to tell you this: Although it's summer break, I still have to go to school for 8 hours a day, not to mention the amount of time that I need to do my homework and stuffs, thus, making maps cost me 2 - 3 hours for each one (To make it fully function) since those maps are fully parallaxed, and I have to perfect the scripts as well as customizing many things in the game , and yes, I'm working alone on this project, so despite how much I want to fix those images in the main posts, I can't due to the shortage of time, but please trust me, I'll surely fix those and eventually have a proofreader to help me rewrite the topic when the game come to its final phase ^.^ And I really do thank you for your attention to my project