Hatredlust's Poetry Diner Options

[Ale Goth]

Welcome to my Poetry Diner. I'll be posting poetry I've written here, please do comment or offer criticism.
My poetry mainly consists of dark things and occasionally I may write with medieval language.
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Anger, Happy, Break up getting you down. Need some poetry to express those chained feelings. I take requests for poetry, just tell me what you want it to be about and the main emotion you wish to portray.

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Without further ado...Here is my first poem.
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Troll Tower
August 11, 2010

Up far above...and looking down
The sight I cannot fathom
Shouting out anything, hoping people reply
Day in, day out...never leaving their window

Aging without reason
Growing old; unable to feel
Amusement is what keeps them away from suicide
Without it...because they have no life

They can't wait to see someone drown
As they begin to wither and peel
Troll hanging onto the window, hoping to not die
Imaginary friends...imaginary wife

Sitting alone in their head...passing every season
Typing and typing, and drunk with rum
In heart, they have died
That's why they have sunk so low

Pain and attention...can't help walk you through the hall
Still as a painting, and within is the stare of a doll
I can't help but frown

-Hatredlust

This post has been edited by Hatredlust: Aug 11 2010, 01:04 AM

[Ale Goth]

Heres another 2 poems,1 new and 1 old. Enjoy
Feedback/Criticism please.
---
A Word Without You
August 11, 2010
-Hatredlust

I can't believe the things
These pieces; they do not fit
No matter how much I budge
No escape for an angel with wings

My mouth full of grit
Heart with a grudge
Mind full of bugs
Thoughts sinking in wit

Writing; a stained smudge
Can't fix this with many hugs
Even if for a day
It's set in place; not gonna' move a nudge

Kneeling...once more
Lock the door...
Smack the feeling off with shrugs
Until you can go on with what you have to say

Just wait...because I love you
-------

A Petal Among Leaves

Come my dear, we have so much to do
Your my only love; it's forever
...I was too young, if only I knew
That to love you; meant we must sever

Leave me to decay here...
And so my body shall
You wanting to leave; I fear
I remember that day...the day I would fail

A break, a wind, cluttered among the foliage
As your cold words passed my lips
The support fell; upon my bridge
My balance...my weight; it all tips

My body, it lay lifeless on this tree
The decay; changed what was once ripe
A petal...was all she could see
She told me that I was not her type

My eyes remained unshut
As I watched you move into the dawn
I now knew; with my gut
You wouldn't come back...you were gone

June 22, 2010
-Hatredlust

[X-M-O]

Troll Tower is a really good read; I especially like the analogies you added. =]

A Word Without You is short, but I like the attitude and tone.

A Petal Among Leaves is by far my favourite of those that you've shown thus far. It creates an eerie feeling when I read it, like something that I could imagine whilst reading a novel. It's very well-written. =]

[Ale Goth]

Thanks for the feedback
You like the last the most, looks like I used to write better back then, haha

Heres the next poem...I wrote it about an hour ago.
---
This Side Of Me

Depression by my side
Suicide at my holster
Wishing that I hadn't died
Weight...gives me no water

Unclean; misunderstood
An arch demon by choice
If I could; I would
And stop listening to their voice

Afraid of what might happen
If I push too hard to be normal
Just to realize my mouth is flappin'
Forgetting the true thing; what's formal

A pressure unheard of...
Taking me down again and again
Forgotten words; lost love
Just ask...when?

About this side of me
So badly; I want you to see

-Hatredlust
August 11, 2010

[X-M-O]

That's a really neat poem. =]

Is there a part 2 to that one? =D

[Ale Goth]

Lol, a 2nd part? I suppose I could make one. Did the ending give an empty feeling that there should have been more stanzas or something?

Another poem here...It's different from the others, and is labeled in days/time of day.
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A Little Shadow
Day 1
Evening
It is time for me to go
The day where I cast my life aside
I still hope though; for my sorrowful eyes to see snow
Innocent is lost, and my heart has died...
Dusk
A melody, a metaphor?
Such things are to me, an anomally
They move in sync, going by together as four
I can't understand fully
Midnight
In the night, yet not in the day
I see IT follow me around
I'm confused...I don't know what to say
Whether it's on the wall or on the ground
Dawn
When all light is gone
It whispers by my heart
And just before I am to see dawn
She has run off, and I have no head start...
Day 2
Morning
I wander in the morning sun
Passing time until the day shall fall
I'm not the type for having much fun
I don't know how to stop the time from hitting a wall

It disgusts me to sit with visibility
But alas...I do not have a home to sleep
I've been awake quite some time, and each hour I face more instability
My skin has been cut...too deep
Evening
The light has reached its peak
And I pity my hollow soul
I sense that I am dreadfully weak
It's all because of this hole...<3
Dusk
Thinking of yesterday...and nothing comes to thought
I only strive on the reason of speaking with it
No matter how much I have fought
My chest cannot hold my heart, for it cannot fit...
Midnight
I sit here, all alone...waiting
She is almost here, and all I can do is wait
Each day, this is something I am hating
But for some reason...it's late
Early Dawn
I wait and wait here on this bench
A storm is coming, and I start to lose the ability to see
Awhile later...and I smell a familiar stench
What a fool I am...all along it was under me
Dawn
I look down at it, and it fumbles around with the dirt
Was it hiding from the rain?
I then noticed that it wore a skirt...
Insanity...that's it, I'm becoming insane
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Written By: Hatredlust, Date:June 1st, 2010
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

[X-M-O]

Lol, a 2nd part? I suppose I could make one. Did the ending give an empty feeling that there should have been more stanzas or something?

It's titled: This Side of Me, and I was wondering if there was going to be a: That Side of Me version, lol. =D


A Little Shadow goes a long way, lol.
It's a good poem, and I have to give you kudos for making it rhyme. It's still in a more free-form than I'd expected, but it works. =]
(I especially like the way you ended it.) =D

[Ale Goth]

Ohhh lol, I don't know about that. I'm more of a write it as I think it. I'm not very good at forcing myself to make a specific poem. If I happen to make it, I'll post it though.

Here's a whopping 3 poems to read! Yippee
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Dawn Till Dusk
August 12, 2010
-Hatredlust

Awakened, by the sound of birds
Peace...serenity...hope...
Tingling in your relaxed bones
No noise, no talking; no words
Nothing in the world worth to mope
Pain all gone...no more groans

Happily looking up at the ceiling
Blinking, and many athoughts
So good...all this feeling
Oh yeah, it's joy; and lots

No Coffee for me; not how I go about
I'll keep going...even groggy
And wait to feed my hungry stomach
Even if all alone, my happiness; I do not doubt
No need to be mad, with things being foggy
I'm not wrong, I'm not sick

Later...as the day goes forward
My mind distorts into another being
...Losing sight of that bird
There is something I'm not seeing

The moon reaps the day of glee
Chokes the radiation from us
Locking us in this jail cell
Can't get out till day gives us a bargain fee
Hoping one night that the cage will rust
My tears...are beginning to well

Day is now completely gone
Depression can now roam around
My body...it feels so wrong
Gravity finally pulls me to the ground...
----
Untold Love
August 13, 2010
-Hatredlust

I want to tell you that one word; three in verse
Just to see you smile...to see you happy
To be by your side for all eternity
I won't let you feel any worse
Not gonna' have another day feeling crappy
Life together, is complete serenity

But we are only friends; just my pal
Afraid that the choice I make...will end in regret
What if I say the wrong thing; what if I fail?
The odds are against me in this bet

Little thoughts; and a lot of thinking
Opposites, no doubt
Just a crush? Could I be wasting another hour?
Not sure, but my mind is running
Mouth is facing a drought
The taste, is very sour

Your funny, I'm negative...alone
I hope you know, I love you
Creepy, is it not? Only if I was not known
Your keeping me together; like glue

Your my hope, my strength
To go on walking in my heart
You have no idea, not the slightest hint
That for you...I would go the length
When will the gun trigger...so I can start?
You can lighten the world's tint

No need to wear these glasses
As I sit next to you, singing together
Laughing away the day that passes
Our bodies... weightless as a feather
-----
Blood Scent

Can you feel it...burning?
The want; the need; the desire
My stomach is churning
From within...is a fire

Anger and hatred flowing
"Smell of the beast"
Means I am going...
To have you for this bountiful feast

No need for my fancy plate
No need to have any formality
All this feeling; all this hate
By means, I face brutality

Whats that on your dress?
A sick and twisted scent
To be honest, I must confess
I feel the need to vent

Care to take a moment of your day?
I got something I need to say

-Hatredlust
August 13, 2010

Bored Yet?

[X-M-O]

Dawn Till Dusk is very depressing, lol. It's interesting though, and well-written. =]

Untold Love is written such that you can actually put it to music - it's really good.

Blood Scent isn't as violent as I figured it would be when I saw the title, but it ended well. =D

All-in-all I'm not bored after reading them, lol. Maybe it's the style that you use; I'm not acquainted with it. It's good though. =D

[literarygoth]

I honestly can't say which one is my favorite, I like them all for their unique qualities and the imagery you've created and the emotions that bleed through the words. Very well done

A Little Shadow felt awkward, maybe because I've never seen a poem written/broken up like that. Very interesting idea either way.

[Ale Goth]

Not bored after reading em' eh? Wow lol.
Untold Love sounds like it would be a song huh? Interesting.
Blood Scent, expecting vampires and werewolfs lol? jk.

Lit, you said "A Little Shadow" felt akward for the style, well it definitely felt weird writing it. That's the
only poem I've written like that, probably not going to have more like it anytime soon. Too much hassle anyway.

Thx for the feedback...Now for the poem, just one this time!
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Another Life
Here I am in the real world.
Sitting by myself, nothing to do.
No one to talk to, except myself.
I wonder if there is anyone really out there.
Or am I the last person left in my life.
I can't ever tell, my vision has begun to blur.

I enjoy sleeping all the time.
Forgetting all the sins people have brought upon me.
Forgiving my actions of futile resistance.
To do something about it and end the pain.
Nothing but the darkness around me.
Nothing else except the dreaming I do on occasion.

It's a nice little place to stay when I'm down.
Everything is the way I want it.
Strangers seem so friendly since I control them.
Little puppets at the hand of my heart.
But only in my dreams I see them.
For in the real world, I do not have a heart to hold.

Each day that I return to this other life.
Is each day closer to my demise.
The more I have, the more it hurts back home.
It's like poison, but at the same time, an addiction.
It's not easy to quit, when you have nothing else to stay close by.
These dreams are the only people I can turn to.

Sometimes I think, that maybe I should go there forever.
Just erase the past life I have lived all this time.
Then I'll never be sad.
And I'll never be spoken of again.
After I paint the carpet red to another life.
Only shall I be seen of in the morgue.

It's a pretty little thought.
But then again, that's another life.

-Hatredlust
-February 14, 2010

[X-M-O]

That's brilliant! It describes a girl I know to the letter!
A fantastic job, brilliant, and well-written; it emphasises things I've thought but not said to her. I think I shall pass this poem along to her so that she can "see the light".
Great work! =]

[Ale Goth]

Thanks, glad you liked it. Describes a girl you know, well the sooner the better about "Seeing The Light"

Hmm...I don't feel like posting a sad poem right now, so here's a nice...comedial poem. Rhymes as usual
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A Fairy, Nonetheless

La la la
What is that noise in my ear?
Ta ta ta
Right now, it's the only thing I can hear

Da da da
It's stuck in my head
Na na na
Nothing else can be said

Gah!?
It's bothering me; like a pesky fairy!
Rah!
So cute; but on the contrary...

Bah!
I'll rip it a knew one
Ha ha ha!
Now that would be fun...

Wah!?
I think I killed it
Ah!
...Not that I cared; not even a little bit

That darn fairy...but nonetheless
It was worthwhile...I guess?

-----------------------------
June 22, 2010
-Hatredlust
----------------------------

[X-M-O]

That's definitely comical. =D
Kind of cute, like something a little kid would run around the house singing, or perhaps would use whilst running about in the playground of an elementary school. (Visualises things from the past and applies the poem to them.) XD

[Ale Goth]

(Runs around house and sings it after finishing this post) Lol just kidding. Maybe when no one's there

Here be another poem, wrote it a day or two ago...
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Isolation & Lonely
August 16, 2010
-Hatredlust

It's cold in here...
Where I hold my hand
A placed called my rib cage...
Only thing I know is fear
Oh, my body feels like sand
Creeping along by age

The old days are long gone
Where fun is the only word...
But now, it feels so wrong
Back then; It's just absurd

Nobody to talk to...
Not a real friend for many amile
Just myself, and my empty writing
Say what...who?
I don't recall that day I had a smile
Please stop, the pain is biting

You know I can't stop now
...Can't stop who I've become
No going back, but how?
My heart, it's going numb

Irregular beat...
Can't help but look at the mirror
Until I remember who I am
I just need to take a seat
To forget about her
Why now...god'dam

Isolated once in awhile...
But always alone
I can't change what's on my file
And that's what chills me to the bone...

[Ale Goth]

Another poem, it's a little different because it's in a girl's point of view. Enjoy
----
Baking My Tears
August 19, 2010
-Hatredlust

Thrown at the oven again
To bake things for him
Just to swallow me whole
How about escape...and when?
It's hard though; the situation seems grim
Chains holding him to my soul

All I want is love
Pure and innocent; painless...
But It seems you aren't my dove
And I'm left in this empty bliss

Slavery; it is indeed...
Only for personal pleasure
Only to feed and cook...
How much must I bleed?
Until I'm your treasure
I'm crying...but all you do is look

Kids come by the year...
Because he wants my body
Everything he does...I fear
Crying is now all I see

I'm getting uglier by the child
Hoping that I become no longer his lust
Just thrown away into his pile of junk
Things here are just too wild...
As I begin to die and rust
I should've known...in the beginning he was no hunk

I wish I had known...
For now I am baking my tears
As my heart turns to stone...
I cry...as he becomes drunk with his beers

[X-M-O]

Baking My Tears is a really well-written and emotionally accurate depiction of the life of so many different women who attempt to please their man in whatever way they feel that they are able to; and yet many men simply ignore or neglect those women despite their efforts. These women are heroes, but they need saving too.

[Ale Goth]

Interesting thoughts of the poem about woman being heroes for trying to help their loved one.
Thanks for the comments, seems not many people favor sad poetry.

Well then, Poem time...
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Turn Around
Look up at the blue sky
Where the sunshine is bright
Forget all the times you cry
Because there is a beautiful light

Standing face to face
With the problem to see the sun
It's time you get back your space
Time to have moments of fun

But you look at me and at the ground
Just look up this one time
So I can tell you to turn around
Promising that you will be at your prime

But don't forgot you can still be the same
For the small things can be smaller
And the world shall be no longer a shame
For you are now standing much taller

Close up the wound that will always bleed
To plant the fresh new seed

-Hatredlust
-October 27, 2009

[Ale Goth]

I haven't posted here in quite some time. As I have been re-approaching the style of my poetry, and now I'm no longer going to rhyme in them purposefully. It sounds good, but usually chains up the actual message being sent. Well...enough of this babble. Here is one of my newer poems.
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Nameless Boy
Verse 1

A beast to swallow me whole
A kraken that shall eat my soul
Another word, and another rhyme...
I can see that this be another day I'm wasting my time
Nothing to hold me to the surface
As I look above for the answers

Empty with a happening for thought
To realize why...is quite unfortunate
To know that I was murdered
By none other than myself...
Sure, I know why I went through with it
Sure, It seems quite stupid now

Can't talk to anybody
Can't help but keep to myself
Writing peculiar things
Gives other's peculiar thought
It may seem so...
But I haven't the slightest clue

A few know my name...
Many know my face
Unfortunately by fear
It's how I just taste
It's just how I look
But I can't tell them who I am...

I have to hide from society
To keep myself safe
Have to keep to myself...
To keep the scars stitched up
If not, I'll start bleeding again
And that would lead to suicide...again

I need to see what's missing
One day, I hope I can be happy again
But now, it seems...
That friends are the only solution
Family doesn't count anymore...
Family is only there because of blood

I am so sick of this
Now afraid to talk to someone even more
To know that I'll lose it again...
Makes it worse than before
And yes, it really hurts
Nothing can stop me now...

Verse 2

With or without a word
I sense something lurking
Creatures scavenging for food
Using others to please themselves...
What do you want with me?
Why me, I'm just a little boy?

In the killer of the kraken now...
Waiting to fall down
To melt my bones away
To erase my existence forever
But it may take some time...
To realize what's really going on

Spoiled by the year
Opportunity at every minute to make someone cry
Loss isn't known much here
Nor is the pain that goes along with it
And for this...a person becomes shallow
And for this...a person becomes a murderer

Who can say what's innocent anymore
When we find kids being beaten
And we see what they do in school
Parents have no clue...that they are lieng
So many different kids there
Ensures that your kid will become one of them

Go ahead...and home school them
But what about the fighting going on
The scolding and abuse...the crying
Rebellious it may seem when they go against your word
But they have just turned into assholes
Just like their parents

Like father like son...
Like mother like daughter...
Can show you what I mean
And I too, can show you
That to have someone so innocent
Is impossible with people like you

Given up...not fit to care for others
So you send them to away
And you divorce your lover
As they realize what they are
Abusing each other, led to seperation
As now...they have died again

-Hatredlust
-September 6, 2010

[Ale Goth]

Bumpalump, comments/feedback anyone?