Lies your parents told you. Rating Options

[Fain]

I remeber my mum saying tht if I chew out loud, A giant freak of nature would chew my balls (I was 10 >.>)

[Reshiram//Exe]

0_o. That would be painful....

[gunsage]

I remember one time my mother sat me down and said "Son, anytime someone doesn't seem to make sense, remember that in their mind, they absolutely do." I remember that day. I had 10 years of customer service experience. Each job was slightly different with their own kind of crazy in the form of customers...the things they do...they things they say. But to a degree, if I put myself in their shoes, they would start to make sense. ...Then I met Phantsmal. Why did you lie to me, Mom?

[Fain]

lol I was told that if someone wasn't making sense, I should run away and call Child Services. As much of a lie that was, I still think about it and laugh XD

[gunsage]

Waiter: "Good evening, young sir. What will you be having?"
Fain: "Oh, just a salad for now."
Waiter: "And what dressing would you like?"
Fain: "'Dressing?' You mean...the salad is NAKED?! I don't understand!" *gets up, runs out the door* "Somebody call children services! There's a pervert in there with salads!"

[Fain]

lol exactly! XD

[Feldschlacht IV]

I haven't read through this topic yet, but I surmise that the snarky 'religion' comment has cropped up.

As far as me, though, Santa Claus, I suppose.

[Albino Parakeet]

I remember one time my mother sat me down and said "Son, anytime someone doesn't seem to make sense, remember that in their mind, they absolutely do." I remember that day. I had 10 years of customer service experience. Each job was slightly different with their own kind of crazy in the form of customers...the things they do...they things they say. But to a degree, if I put myself in their shoes, they would start to make sense. ...Then I met Phantsmal. Why did you lie to me, Mom?

Such a moving and true story, bro.

[Reshiram//Exe]

Confusion is a state of weakness.

A game lied to me once. That game was FFVII.

"Careful! attack it while it's tail is up!It'll counter with it's laser! FUCK YOU CLOUD, YOU MADE ME GET A GAME OVER."

[Twinstargemini]

My mum told me that there was a serial killer out there who enjoys killling children if they do not sleep on time and if you do not pray to God. It was so scary and she said fruits and vegetables will protect you from such evils, while meat will give you strength against them, but eating only one set of food group will make you become evil and turn you into a manpig. I hate these lies, they made me so frightened. I was actually 8 and I was told everything will not be a happy ever after and finally santa, toothfairy and easter bunny do not exist. Only pain does. It was a weird childhood, but she loves me though, it was just to teach me how to have a healthy life, esepcially with the food groups. Even if it was extreme.

[Amy Pond]

My dad has used both these lines:

1. Whatever you do in life we will be proud of you (when the whole world thought I was gay)
2. I put up with a lot of things but that is too far (when my sister plaited my hair so it wouldn't knot in my sleep)

So. You can do what you want in life but not that!

[carnie_natas]

The world is tough.....them fools lied cause the world is a fucking bitch!

My dad has used both these lines:

1. Whatever you do in life we will be proud of you (when the whole world thought I was gay)
2. I put up with a lot of things but that is too far (when my sister plaited my hair so it wouldn't knot in my sleep)

So. You can do what you want in life but not that!

thats funny....dare i ask the question though?
ill take the word "thought" as my answer,my parents thought i was bi once because i had black hair down to my pecks,but then i dreaded my shit and started bangin girls around 15 so they knew i wasn't after convincing them i definately didn't do guys also.... im not offended by gays or anything,i'm just not gay lol.

[Hiashi]

My grandma told me that if I ate too much chocolate (because I was, am, and forever will be an addict of it,) then I would grow a tapeworm in my stomach.


There's also another one regarding sexual assault, but I won't tell that one.

[Twinstargemini]

Oh my god, my dad said if you do believe in happy things, all life will survive, if you cry. The devil will come and get ya or even destroy the world.

[Albino Parakeet]

Oh my god, my dad said if you do believe in happy things, all life will survive, if you cry. The devil will come and get ya or even destroy the world.

That's awful. If you bottle up your emotions and prevent yourself from crying, you'd develop a mental problem.

[Twinstargemini]

He insisted on the idea of smiling is the best way forward. It was so depressing holding all of it in. Also, they said that if I got angry or someone else gets angry, a volcano would erupt. I hate how they kept on saying things like this, it really makes the child scared.

[Zackwell]

My dad told me that he didn't lie. Big lie.

And I swear someone told me that if you stay awake past midnight on Hallowe'en, you turn into a pumpkin. XD

[carnie_natas]

my mom once told me that those loud fart tips on street racing cars are stupid because they suck the gas right out and cost money in the long run because they apparently guzzled gas

wether its a bolted on tip or a full on exhaust system, as far as i know its an exhaust which means it exhaust's gasoline not use it....she insist's that still today

[Twinstargemini]

My older brother told me, if I don't treat dogs like kings, they transform into the devil's true form.

[Albino Parakeet]

Well, dogs are boss. Treat them as such.