Lies your parents told you. Rating Options

[ultrasugar]

"If you go outside without a trusted adult a pedophile will kidnap you."

"If you put in a tampon, you will lose your virginity and you won't be able to get married."

"If you stay at that computer screen/.television you will get square eyes." (square glasses maybe).

[FlippedSided]

WHAT??? Santa isnt real???

the worst lie my parents ever told me was that I was dead. I was like 5 and I believed them. For no reason whatsoever. I came down one morning and my dad just said to me your dead. With no explanantion at all. Very confusing. My mum would keep saying all through that day. Then the next day they just stopped. One of the strangest (and scariest) days of my life.

[Reshiram//Exe]

LULwut? how can you exist if you are dead?

[rivette]

I wouldn't call it lies, just 80-90's style misinformation, but my parents were full of hilarity.

"Don't stand too close to the microwave, you'll get cancer!" type stuff.

[Reshiram//Exe]

0_o. That's a bit serious.

"If you summon Bahamut in FF4 he will appear at your window and eat you." I was scared to shit of summoning Bahamut.

[Sparrowsmith]

"You can grow up to be anything you want to be" ten years later, I'm not closer to being a pikachu... Not that I wanted to be a pikachu to begin with... Doesn't change that I'm not a pikachu... Or a dragon... Or a talking monkey

[elfyelf]

The tooth fairy, I actually put a tooth under my pillow to get some $$
cus they werent giving me any. I was about.....8 yrs old? And next day
the tooth was still there

[squirrelmg]

Here's a bad one: Anytime as I kid when I looked out the back window in the car at the car driving behind us, I was told the driver would pull out a gun and shoot me. I never looked out the back window again.

Here's a comedic one: Recently I was told that Eminem was popular in the 1940s. So obviously fake and dumb, and my mom was completely serious about it.

[Resource Dragon]

My parents never told me things that sadistic, that tried to lies about other things though, but nothing sexual. They told me where babies came from, and other things about their marriage before I was born (I wished they had lied to me about those things!). Other than that they never lied to me.

Where do babies come from.....?

[Ankh]

My parents are very much against this sort of thing. I mean, we still went through all the motions (teeth and pillows, milk and cookies, blah blah blah), but just for fun. I mean, free money and presents? Nice family time? Duh. But they never told us such things were real. They always told me the truth about things (or what they believed to be the truth anyway). They feel if you lie to your children about... well, anything really, they won't trust you with the big things. Probably why I have such a good relationship with them.

That, and they're pretty much bigger nerds than I am.

[Sparrowsmith]

mentioning presents I just remembered four years ago
Christmas, I come down stairs, there's a MASSIVE BOX (seriously I could fit inside it) And I'm like
Then it moos at me, and I was really worried. I start opening it, family present, and it's just one box inside another. When I finally get to the bottom it's just a little box, containing a phone, that's mooing because my parents have been texting it
The phone was nice, the fact I thought they'd gotten me a cow was not... I'm not sure if this was lying but it was certainly confusing.

[kunitaj]

"Monsters aren't real" <------ LIE!!

A monster could be termed as a Large animal.

or a complete dick!



Anyway my parents never lied to me about the real world.
lol about when i asked my mom where babies come from and she explicitly explained to me the mechanics of sex.

[Lato]

My adoptive mom told me I was her son and that she gave birth to me....which is pretty stuipd cause i was wayyyy old enough to know better , think i was like 16 or 17 at the time, lost all respect for her after that.

[Kamuki]

I was just told the basic holiday people like Santa or the Easter Bunny from now on. Oh also if you don't go to sleep early apparently aliens take you away or something.

[Albino Parakeet]

My mom told me Kiss was a good band. I can't believe I sat there and took in all of those lies they have told me.

[Reshiram//Exe]

"Monsters aren't real" <------ LIE!!

A monster could be termed as a Large animal.

or a complete dick!



Anyway my parents never lied to me about the real world.
lol about when i asked my mom where babies come from and she explicitly explained to me the mechanics of sex.

0_o. No comment.

[Kiriashi]

This was actually not long ago (link a month and a half), but I bought like six cases of mountain dew when the new flavors came out, and put them in my room. The next day three of them were missing. O)_(O

I asked my mom if she took them and she of course denied it.


Guess what I found under her bed yesterday? >.>

[Queue]

Too much television gives you square eyes.

I would kill for square eyes you lying bastards.

[Kiriashi]

That's what toothpicks are for, my friend.


My parents told me TV wasn't real... I touched that television, and it felt quite real.

[theBreadSultan]

That if I ate too much Ice cream i would feel sick.

And having eaten entire tubs of Ben and JErry's in a single sitting, I can confirm that it was a lie.