Lullaby of the Wind, A re-imagining of a classic fairytale in a steampunk era. Options

[Erick]

Wow, this seems like an amazing game!

I love how you can get different skills up, rather than attack etc. This is a really good idea, and if you can pull it off it would be fantastic.

I like the idea of having the upper class at the bottom of the hill to avoid the pollution, and the lake at the bottom is also really clever. I can just imagine a huge lake and the upper class people going out on their boat or something. The lake would also have lots of trees around it, showing the rich area, if that makes sense.

What time is the story set in?
eg; past, present, the future, or like a fantasy time with mythical creatures?

All in all, this seems like a really good game, good luck!

[MyPhantomile]

Thank you very much for your comments! My initial thoughts of a lake were to promote wildlife nearby. If you've read the previous posts (which I believe you have!) then you can see there's a bit of a dilemma on where to situate the districts. Either way, I'm sure I'll be happy but I'd much rather the public had a vote as to which would make more sense.

Hopefully this extract from Wikipedia will help explain things nicely.

"The term denotes works set in an era or world where steam power is still widely used — usually the 19th century, and often Victorian era Britain[citation needed] — but with prominent elements of either science fiction or fantasy, such as fictional technological inventions like those found in the works of H. G. Wells and Jules Verne, or real technological developments like the computer occurring at an earlier date."

I'm hoping to post more in my first thread as to the general ideas that can go along with my game. Things such as costumes, machines, locations etc. Just a general idea behind it all, of course.

Thanks again for your comments and if there's anything else that you would like to ask, then feel free.

[MyPhantomile]

BUMP.

Lullaby of the Wind can now be found in recruitment and has been sitting there on its lonesome for quite some time now. I continue to welcome feedback about my game, be it good or bad

[poisonshift]

If it were past being written I'd be more inclined to give my feedback. Get some art and mapping done. You'll get more visitors.

[MyPhantomile]

I'm not sure how much you've read, but I am currently recruiting at this moment in time for an artist and spriter whereby I can then begin to develop the game properly. I am not trying to rush this game so I have no inclination to post images asap. I am simply asking for critique on the story elements thus far.

I should also add that I don't want nor expect images to be the sole reason for comment. This game goes beyond looking 'fancy' and focuses on the story. No offence, but I'd much rather have someone critique the core of this game than its surface.

[poisonshift]

Did I say it was required or that you'd get more visitors? I wasn't trying to offend you.

I'm working on an example project to set my future project off to recruit my team. I'm importing scripts, getting systems set up, doing some mapping, basic plot lines and such. Its possible to map and make the game then update the images when they're finished.

[MyPhantomile]

I wasn't offended, so I apologise if it came off like that. All I'm saying is I don't care for people who take a second look at a project because it has images. This project is for those who enjoy story above graphical content.

As I - and a future team - are building this game from scratch, then mapping really isn't a good idea. It would fail to capture the essence of an industrial city. There's a lot extra than your standard RTP too so it would be impossible to map that out. At this moment in time, I can only make progress on story elements (which I've been writing up).

Again, I apologise if I came off rude or offended. I wasn't whatsoever!

[poisonshift]

I'm kinda left hanging when it comes to the story that you've got posted so far.

Hard times, brother and sister, struggling to live. Then brother disappears, sister sets off... Where is she going? Is this going to be an adventure RPG or a detective story?

[MyPhantomile]

Jeez, you can really make any game sound boringly simple when you put it like that...

I don't particularly like the notion of it being an adventure RPG but that's what it is at heart. It's more of an interactive story than anything else. The story unwinds as you progress in the game and only then is the plot truly revealed. I suppose it's reminiscent of a 'detective story' if you looked at it hard enough however the main character won't be donning a monocle and pipe. My intentions are to have realism prevalent throughout the game so she won't be picking up swords and slashing away at cliche monsters. The dangers she'll face are from the city itself as well as its inhabitants.

Simply put, it's a game in which the player makes choices to progress the story. You will be made to provide certain choices to advance in the game however some will be made to have a detrimental effect. There is no clear cut path to take and you are made to feel exactly like Amelia at the beginning; lost and confused. My plans are for an open ended game whereby the player follows clues and pieces of advice to proceed. It is in this sense that it can be regarded as a 'detective story'.

[poisonshift]

So I guess you'll have a seriously badass quest system going on then?

I wasn't trying to make it sound boring. I'm also a writer. I was just pulling out the bones and putting them on the table and asking you if they were the animal you were breeding. I guess I was spot on.

You should edit the story a little bit to give a heads up about what kind of game it's gonna be. If I had to ask I'm sure it's leaving other people wondering.

Sounds good though. Now I see why the artwork is so important to you.

[MyPhantomile]

Again, I apologise for the previous posts. It's about 1:53am and I sounded like a pompous ass back there!

I've thought about a quest system as a matter of fact however I'm not sure how I'll execute it. I'm thinking of having a script where the player can actually make notes to themselves of important events. It's up to them to remember where to go, it's up to them to know who to talk to etc. This game doesn't exactly feature heated battles and complicated puzzles so it's just a nifty little feature in which the player has more control over.

I'll likely edit the story when I have the time and energy tomorrow, heh. I have a few more things to add and rearrange. But yes, artwork is massively important to me, as well as the graphical element purely because it then means I can get this project underway.

[poisonshift]

I think the use of a quest system to keep track of learned information would be useful. Like:

Collect Clues:
1.
2.
3.
4. Newspaper Clipping X
5.
6.

So it wouldn't be the traditional use of a quest system, more like a mental note of what information has been collected automatically being deposited somewhere. Can't rely on players to remember everything or think it's important enough to jot down in the log book. Hope that makes sense. Jeeze, it's only 6:00pm here...

[Hirei]

D: Really love your topic so far and i can't wait for some screenies. I can already tell the storytelling will be amazing.

*adds userbar to sig*

[yuzippy]

If it is set in the Steampunk era, you gotta love it. Looks nice, cant wait to see screenies and the sprites, they should be good!
!yuz!

[Sparrowsmith]

Again, I apologise for the previous posts. It's about 1:53am and I sounded like a pompous ass back there!

I've thought about a quest system as a matter of fact however I'm not sure how I'll execute it. I'm thinking of having a script where the player can actually make notes to themselves of important events. It's up to them to remember where to go, it's up to them to know who to talk to etc. This game doesn't exactly feature heated battles and complicated puzzles so it's just a nifty little feature in which the player has more control over.

I'll likely edit the story when I have the time and energy tomorrow, heh. I have a few more things to add and rearrange. But yes, artwork is massively important to me, as well as the graphical element purely because it then means I can get this project underway.

Sparrow to the rescue ^^
First off, I like this concept a lot and I'm really looking forward to it. Secondly I'd like to know what fairy tale it's based on
Finally I'd like to help you with your quest system.
I had the same problem with quests for my Death Note game. It's hard to have a non-linear quest system, so I used a crafting system instead. You'll need a scripter to make one (or at least edit one you find) but it does work really well.
Alternatively you could just event it and let the player find their way.
EG: Item: Address location + charm (10) = conversation with traveling coach, free lift
etc
Also, steampunk? Freaking badass, would love to help out on this, sadly I can't do any of the things you require

[MyPhantomile]

I'd love to tell you what the fairytale is however it completely spoils the story! As mentioned, it's not a direct translation of the tale, however it's a reimagining of it. That means the events and reasons may be altered slightly but the core of the original story is still there.

I'm really torn on what system to use. They all have their advantages but there's just so much that can be done with each one. I wonder if I could perhaps implement two of them together while still having each just as useful. I may have to create a poll and get people's opinions on what will be the best to use. Also, the main reason I was drawn to having a note system was so that the player is in direct control of the information they find and what they do with it. It's just another aspect of realism that I enjoy.*ponders...*

Also, thanks a bunch Hirei! I wouldn't have expected you to enjoy the idea!

[brightcrazystar]

Hello,

I read this a few times and gave it some thought on the way. Things you might want to consider if you are REALLY looking to make a steampunk game. I love steampunk and am interested in your game quite a bit. I am not saying you don't know this, but rather offer this as a lot of things I find that really seem to be missing from things that try to be steam-punk. Neglect neither the "steam" nor the "punk" and also keep a great eye on socioeconomic and environememental impact.

1. With such a social unrest and a low-class forced to be in clear proximity to the industrial core of your technology that provides for the affluent, you would have one or two things: Militant Oppression, or Social Revolution. Probably a combination of both. There will have to be some way to regulate control of tech from the impoverished. What are they needed for anyways? My advice is making your city abit different. The only reason a lowerclass would really be used would be to manual do that which can not yet be automated. The middle class are there for administration and supervision, and to give the upper class a people to feel superior to that do not offend the senses.

2. Do not deny or avoid the tech level of your world. Steampunk is a VERY hard genre to write for without having to do a good bit of research, if you haven't already. Faking the tech in a steampunk game is essential, but it is steampunk because it is focused on the tech and usually a small piece of the puzzle of science just needs a tweak for things to be dramatically different. For example, what if peanut is the core concept behind your tech advancment. It is a very efficient fuel dampener with biodegradeable waste that can mostly be consumed or even used to grease machinery. Make a world switch where George Washington Carver's work with the peanut is the core of scientific revolution. Mixing Peanut Oil and Water in yourt world allows the water to have a higher boiling point and prevent total flash. Therefore you have a technology that is almost absolutey usless for war, but requires great land and resource control. The conflict of using a tech based on what could feed the disenfranchised is a interesting schism for dystopian elements. Make a timeline of your scientific progress in you world that led to the standard of your industry.

3. Neglect not the Bourgeois. The excess of the bourgeois is often critical to a trickle-down economy which your city most assuredly has to rely upon. The only way to keep people in a dystopia sated is to give them purchasing power, and a sense of importance. This can be done through sports and escapism most easily. How you make this work is critical. But also where there is a bourgeois, there is a certain upper-class integration, particulary among youths of the upperclass who feel guilt and or boredom, and a little bit of both. This is usually the greatest reason for crime, socio-econmically; which rises from petit-bourgeois. It is also usually the greatest caste-based contribution to the liberal arts. In general, this is what will keep your world from being colored with a base neutral palette.

3. (These are all assumptions based on your world reacting like ours.)
Your technology level will impact environment. The greatest two component of pollution are carbon and nitrogen. These are the bane of humans and animals, but PLANTS love them. Nothing leads to record growth of plants like acid rain and NOx emissions. Most of the pollutants in the world that occur in industry before and after an oil based industry are actually found in miracle-gro and other plant foods. In a world with a plant base, such as a legume (peanut) as the core of technology, the real goal would be increased fertility of the land, and this would lead to gross changes to civil structure. Say the people in the industrial sectors are generally contained with force, but kept in a state of optimism that they might graduate to the plantation life, which is sold to them as a better condition. And maybe it actually is, as most hard labor there is automated by industry and there lives are generally better there. I worked heavily with the EPA and there are actually rainforests in America right now, from the effects of cities hundreds of miles away.

As for Fairy Tale, it reminds me of Tam Lin.

[MyPhantomile]

Thanks very much for your input crazystar! I'm amazed at how indepth it is. I'll be honest and say I wasn't hoping to make the details that... detailed. I understand the reasoning behind them and their purpose but I feel if I made any attempts at presenting that sort of information in the game, it would detract from the main storyline. Had I opted for a longer game I would have most definitely gone into great detail to explain many aspects of the city.

Point 3 however has caught my interest. I hadn't quite considered the effects on vegetation in the region. Thinking about the lower district, it would only be fair to assume it's going to have little-to-no maintenance so an overgrowth of plants and such would make a lot of sense. In fact, running through all your points, I can see exactly where you are coming from. Although I won't focus heavily on the city, its technology and crime, there should be a sound reasoning behind technological advances as you stated. It's something I'll consider carefully as time progresses as well as the story.

As for the fairytale, it's a very well known one. I've given no indication as to what it could be as it'll spoil the whole story.

[brightcrazystar]

Thanks for appreciating the input. It is a pain sometimes, but I am the kind of person who can figuratively see a world in every raindrop. It is a pain sometimes, and when I start playing Mr. Insomniac, it really challenges my own creative process. Not mention days it rains! Fortunately my studio partner can play Ground Control and get me back on course; most of the time. In general consider it a compliment if i act like a sounding board, even if it seems challenging! And it seems you do, hooray! (In fact, most people here seem to, which is refreshing.)

Still, I just shared my initial interpretations. As for the "Tam Lin" simularities, that is not a guess... and there are several version of that game. I think the title reminds me of it, but am not sure... it was just the first thing that came too mind.

[Marian_Frae]

Alright... I'm kind of annoyed now because... I wrote a page long post with bunches of questions and lots of "I really like this idea"... and it's not here. >_< Nor is my "enable email notification of replies" thing set... must be that internet failed when I tried to send my initial post.

Well, all of my questions have been answered... and all of the ones that I had from reading the subsequent replies... and I'm liking everything I see... so to save your time and mine--I just have to say that I will look forward to this eagerly and have added your game to my signature.

Also... Bright's post brought up, I believe, the solution to your city-arrangement problem--was the city formed around the industry or was it formed around the water? If the city was formed around industry, then it could have started as a work camp but eventually nobles who sent their servants to work felt they needed to keep a closer eye... or even that the workers got so much from the industry that they eventually became the higher class--at least of that city. In this situation, it would make more sense for the superior district to be higher--they went further up the incline to escape the toxicity as they became more wealthy.
With the water--the higher society would have sent the industry as far from them as they could--and the slums with it.