Literary Analysis: TCT's Storyline, The hook, inciting incident, midpoint, and second plot point Options

[LaDestitute]

(Idea for storyline hooks, inciting incidents, midpoints, and second plot points taken from here.)
So I have used such points to layout a clear path of my project's storyline. I have to note my weakest points are probably my response and climax. So, some input please.

==== Basic premise ====
Eggman is once again on the search for the chaos emeralds. It is a race against time for Chaoin the chao (the main character) to find the chaos emeralds before he does. What could be the consequences if Eggman gets to them first?

=== The Hook ===
Eggman broadcasts a message directed at Station Square on national television, threatening to launch an attack on Station Square if they do not comply and surrender any chaos emeralds stored in their government banks.

== Setup ==
Chaoin is pushed by his curiosity about the outside world, and comes with the decision to venture outside of the garden for the first time. His desire is to explore the world and learn about a world mostly unknown to his kind.

=== Inciting Incident ===
The inciting incident is when Chaoin makes his first actual encounter with Dr. Eggman, and Dr. Eggman himself realizes someone is in the way of his desires for world domination. This conflicts with Chaoin's desire to explore the world as he would have no freedom if Eggman succeeded. This drives him to fight against Eggman to ensure his own desires and by umbrella rule, the world's safety.

== Response ==
Chaoin quickly realizes the consequences if the chaos emeralds fall into the wrong hands, being that their very powerful and are infinite sources of energy. Chaoin
makes the decision to ask around town for information.

=== Midpoint ===
The midpoint is an event in the storyline that the player's actions have no outcome on, where too many of the chaos emeralds fall into Eggman's hands. Knowing the fate of the world is nearing to the state of hanging on a thread, Chaoin has no choice but to make a final stand at the midpoint in the storyline and cobble together his efforts to attempt to tip the scales in his favor.

== Attack ==
Chaoin learns about citizens of Station Square complaining and talking about an eye-sore that recently popped up off of the shore. That eye-sore is Eggman's new base, the oilutopia; a semi-mobile base located on a lake of oil.

=== Second Plot Point ===
The events of the game end up cutting Eggman out of the picture and Chaoin makes the decision to visit outer space, having found top secret data files about the space colony ARK within the central computer in Oiltuopia. Here, the player meets a duo of supercomputers that run the ARK's systems.

== Climax ==
Chaoin makes his first encounter with the supercomputer duo of the ARK, codenamed ADAM and EVE. EVE warns Chaoin about ADAM's hidden hatred of "life" and existence (which stems from that ADAM is an artificial being, and therefore possibly cannot understand such concepts) and the situation begins to boil down when ADAM plots his plan and Chaoin...having gotten himself too far, realizes there's no turning back.

This post has been edited by LaDestitute: Jul 18 2011, 11:15 AM

[X-M-O]

You'll need to answer a lot of questions, which I guess the full story would end up answering.
However, here are a few questions (as a reader/player) I would have with the given information:

1. What are the consequences, specifically, if Eggman were to get all of the Chaos Emeralds?
2. How is the main character different than any other Chao in his ability to thwart Eggman's plans, or even ADAM's plans?
3. How is it that EVE wants to warn Chaoin about ADAM, when EVE is like ADAM and doesn't have the ability to "understand such concepts" as they are both artificial beings.
4. Why has ADAM not decided to go about these "evil plans" prior to encountering Chaoin.
5. Why does ADAM have a "hidden hatred" against all life?
6. Why doesn't EVE share that hatred?
7. Are there any hints towards ADAM being a part of this story/game during the part where Eggman is the main antagonist?

Consider these questions and let me know if you can answer them. =]
I'm curious, because these could be plot-holes, or they could just be something that you were intending to answer through the story/game.

[LaDestitute]

Yeah, most of these are points I don't want to spoil. However, what makes Chaoin different is his Trance skill (akin to Terra Branford's Trance skill) but with replace esper with chaos chao and magic AP with a chaos meter. But, to explain trance:
It's a special skill exclusive to the main character, and is usable as long as at least one portion of the chaos meter is filled. More portions means longer trance mode. When the player uses the skill Trance, the chaos meter empties completely and the main character's ATB gauge fills up and turns cyan. The main character then transforms into a chaos chao (the type depending on their alignment) and their fly (int/special stat) and power (str stat) becomes much higher temporarily. When the trance ATB gauge empties out completely, the main character transforms back into their normal form and their stats return to normal.

This post has been edited by LaDestitute: Jul 18 2011, 03:49 PM

[LaDestitute]

bump

[X-M-O]

Bumping isn't necessary in this forum, and it is discouraged.
If you have new material to add then you can update the topic by posting again, but don't post "bump" replies in the Art forum.
Thanks.

[bacon]

its sounds as if the climax belongs in the middle of the story as you introduce an important character without really any development.

I agree with XMO. Even if you dont want to spoil plot points, this is the lit analysis so it might be in your best interest as people want to help you and make your story better~

Is your story more lighthearted or serious?

If this is game stuff though, I think this would maybe fit better in the project boards?

[LaDestitute]

My story is more lighthearted to begin with, actually.

1. Besides the usual elements of world domination, oppression, and the world having one leader, I was going to borrow a page from Archie and have a robotisization sub-plot.
2. Due to the fact it's been implied that Chaos was once a chao and is their guardian, I'm probably going to have Chaoin have a link to Chaos.
3. I have yet to develop their history and demeanor and could use some help even so. For some reason, they make me think of the phases from .hack.
4. Well, figuring events after SA2 and ShtH; the colony probably went dormant or was shutdown. What if, by proxy; so where the ARK's processing units?
5 and 6: I'm still working on such aspects, so I honestly don't know how to answer that completely.
7. I'm probably going to work on the development of the supercomputer duo more and I'm going to actually introduce ADAM in the middle of the story, but not in a formal "Hi, I'm A.D.A.M, I'm a supercomputer" sort of way. Like, behind the scenes or without revealing his identity.