I remember a time when I was much younger when my dad took us kids out to see Titanic. I remember going in to the theater in pretty high spirits... and I remember coming out of it bawling my eyes out. Of course, I can no longer remember if I was crying because of how awful and sad the story was, or if I was weeping in disappointment at the direction Leonardo's career had gone.
As you can probably tell, I am not a Leonardo fan, never have been ever since the days of Growing Pains; however I will give him credit for his recent movies (Shutter Island and Inception), so there just may be hope for him left.
Well, after wiping away my tears and realizing it was just a movie (and knowing that the Jack Dawson in the movie probably was not the same as the J. Dawson in real life), I couldn't help but to laugh at how the Titanic was thought to be unsinkable, and yet it didn't even make through its maiden voyage. Maybe it should have taken some advice from the "Unsinkable Molly Brown"? And, as happens when I least expect it, thinking along these line I came up with a little ditty that has stayed with me throughout the years.
As for my dad, I've long forgiven him for taking us to see this movie, although I haven't seen it since.
My little jingle about the Titanic.
Titanic: This unsinkable Sinkable Ship
Took the ultimate dip
It was thought Unthinkable To be so Sinkable
This unsinkable Sinkable Ship
Well, I couldn't just stop there, not at all. Because while that ditty was still playing in my head, I had to come up with another idiotic jingle, this one about thoughts.
We'll just blame this one on the drugs my dad took before I was born.
I Think I Thunk a Thought: I think I thunk A thought.
A thought I think I thunk.
If I thought The thunk That I think I thought,
What’s the think I thought I thunk?
Well, now that I've talked about about my youthful vigor, it's now time to discuss what this post is really about.
Corporate Politics: We all know what they are. Regardless of which side is right (if ever there is a correct side to be on), there will always be trouble when it comes to politics. This is not meant to pick on any one party, and as such I will refrain from indicating which party I was bashing at the time of one of my poems. However, I'm quite certain that when it comes to various political figures, or even corporate leaders for that matter, the following two poems can easily be related regardless of the affiliations.
Both of these are parodies (of sorts) to familiar poems and/or songs. It's generally what I do best (when I put my best effort forward), and I've always been a sucker for parodies and sattire. Weird Al has and always will be my hero.
First on the list is a sort of Dr. Suess parody to Green Eggs and Ham. Again while I won't disclose the person or the party, I'm quite sure people can apply this to whomever is in the debacle spotlight at any given time.
Dr. Suess would probably roll over in his grave over this one.
I Cannot Lead: I cannot lead, I swear indeed, I cannot lead even to stop the greed. I would not could not in a suit, I could not would not in steel-toe shoes. I would not lead were I a fox, I could not lead myself from a box. I cannot lead from here to there, I cannot lead you anywhere. I cannot lead, but here I am, Oh won’t you help me, Sam-I-am. I cannot lead, it's a shame indeed. But you voted for me, so now who's the dweeb?
Finally, this is a song I wrote (to the tune of Stevie Wonders' "I Just Called to Say I Love You") about corporate policies in general. By this I mean, quite often do you see them pass out a round of lay-offs, taking down various people in various departments that have a slighly higher salary than they are willing to pay, and then turning around and hiring them back at "new" positions at less than what they previously made, except these new positions are practically the same as the positions they were previously layed off for. So to those companies, I give you my next song.
Again, won't mention names, so I'm using the all-purpose term of "Work" instead.
Work Just Called to Say Your Fired: You wake today And you feel okay No worries, no frets should ever come your way But the phone then rings And you begin to think Who would dare to call you on such a day
It begins to rain You feel your doom Your beautiful Saturday has just now been ruined But you cannot hide You must accept your dues Because somebody really wants to speak with you
Work just called to say you’re fired Work just called to say nobody cares, oh no, no, no Work just called to say you’re fired And please spare them those awful, rotten tears
Your mouth runs dry You begin to cry You beg and plead with your sorry life You start to wheeze And even sneeze And you think of ways to buy you back some time
Your hope is gone Your paycheck, too Unemployment is calling out to you But do not fret And do not freak Because work has got even bigger brighter news
Work just called to say you’re fired Work just called to wish you a rotten day, oh yeah, yeah, yeah Work just called to say you’re fired And they’ll hire you back at just half the pay
Well, that's about all the time I have for today. Until next time, audieu!
This post has been edited by amerk: Dec 12 2011, 01:20 PM