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> Demons Rain
thechossen1
post Jun 16 2011, 09:36 AM
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STORY:
Millions of years ago, Earth was a paradise were Demons, Humans, Animals all strived.But some people werent exactly happy with the inclusion of demons in there society, and knew to destroy the Demons, they needed a Demon, they summoned the godslaying Demon Ragnarock, only for it to backfire and cause the Apocalypse puting the world in a Post-Apocalyptic stasis.

You are Prisoner 362 a Fayer people who have the abbilities to call a special summoning demons, that will help you through your quest, a prisoner sent to Prison 5022, were criminals of the waistland are sent. After a prison break, you escape, and are charged with deciding the fate of the world.

CHARECTERS:
362: Is the main protagonist and the player charecter, a quite and mysterious thief who was sent to prison 5022, he is unknown and mysterious, the palyer has the choice to decide what to do during different outcomes and decide his fate.

Crack:Once a bodyguard to one of the richest man in the waist, he is a intellegient gambler, and is well known for being the jack of all trades.he traveles with his dog Leos

Leos: Is Crack's pet dog, who was with crack since birth, now trained to fallow amy move Crack has to give. Over the years Leo's has lost some body parts and brain function which were replaced by robot parts sewed into his body.

Lyric: Is a Master Martial Artist, and a sherif to an unmaed town, he is also a fayer just like 362, unlike Crack he takes things seriously and understand what it's like living in the waistland. His closest friend is a demon named David, and he has taught the poeple of the town to respect all beings demon or not.

Davd: Is a demon and closest friends with Lyric, his personality is kind and well hearted as well as caring, He wishes for the world to understand not all demons are evil, and he hopes Lyric can help him too. he is a genrderless humanoid demon, whose biggest dream is too find love, and have a family.

Jerich: Jerich is a female bounty hunter known all around as the greatest huter ever. She has a distaste for demons making an awkward confontation with David. She is light hearted and a bit light headed, at times even cruel, but she seems to respect demons regardless of her dislike towards them.

241: He is aswell a priosner in prison 5022, and the only other one who aswell gave up on his name. He acts rather awkward and at times creepy, His past is shrouded in mystery, and he is the most untrusting of the team, not much is knwon.

Larese: She is a once was hunter, and is the husband of the demon named Volvo, Who is later murdered she joins hopig to find the murderer, she aswell begans having a relationship with 362. she refuses to tell of her husband and how they met, she is also a Fayer, Her demons are known as elemntal beings.

One: Is a fayer as well and possibly the most mysterous of all, his job is simply to be the bodyguard of Vyn another party member, He does not speak only when using his spells.

Vyn: Is the richest scientist on the baron waistland,he conducts experiments on demons to see how they work and what makes them tink. He has a bodyguard named One, but even he knows nothing off his past. Vyn is donateable, kind, but lonely and depressed he is a fayer who has lived since before the world was tunred into a waistland due to a curse.

Varese: Is a Fayer whose parents were murdered by demons. Regardless she has learned to accept them in society, and blaming the worlds troubles on people who accused demons of casuing the world to turn into a waistland, she is a kindred free spirit.

Gameply: The game goes by choices, picking one things will get you an alternate route, and will gift you rewards, and bad luck.

That is All....

This post has been edited by thechossen1: Feb 18 2012, 03:03 PM


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felipe_9595
post Jun 16 2011, 10:05 AM
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what.... is this????

Nice stoled name :/

http://rpgmaker.net/games/3100/


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thechossen1
post Jun 16 2011, 10:07 AM
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QUOTE (felipe_9595 @ Jun 16 2011, 10:05 AM) *
what.... is this????

Nice stoled name :/

http://rpgmaker.net/games/3100/

sorry too disapoint but i got that name and before i found out about it...
so i changed it to aftermath demons rain to avoid confusion..
i didnt steal the name since i didnt know about it till yesterday dry.gif

This post has been edited by thechossen1: Jun 16 2011, 10:08 AM


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felipe_9595
post Jun 16 2011, 10:11 AM
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Okay then i am going to name my game Final Fantasy because i really dont know if a game with that name exist tongue.gif



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thechossen1
post Jun 16 2011, 10:12 AM
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QUOTE (felipe_9595 @ Jun 16 2011, 10:11 AM) *
Okay then i am going to name my game Final Fantasy because i really dont know if a game with that name exist tongue.gif

nice scarcasm dude


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Dark Kyu
post Jun 16 2011, 12:18 PM
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Well, the game's plot looks interesting and the characters caught my attention.

Keep it update wink.gif

This post has been edited by Dark Kyu: Jun 16 2011, 12:19 PM


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piccolodude
post Jun 16 2011, 12:20 PM
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ok felipe_9595 seeing how that other game is an RM game not everyone knows the names of everyone else games so u can stop giving thechossen1 shit for using the same name someone else did all u had to do is let thechossen1 know that someone used that name already u didnt have to be a jackass about it there are allot of RM games out there that have the same names some even have the same names as company made games most ppl dont care if u use the same name especially if its another RM game since its not copyrighted it dosnt matter


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felipe_9595
post Jun 16 2011, 01:11 PM
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wut???? Sorry, it was hard to understand what did you say, use dots please.

In fact, is copyrighted, any material you create by your own becomes copyrighted tongue.gif



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piccolodude
post Jun 18 2011, 05:06 AM
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that is where u r wrong. it dosnt become copyrighted just cuz u mad it. u have to do paper work to get the lil R, C, and TM ect.... look at Windows and mac, windows stolid mac's ideal and there was nothing he could do about it. now the right thing to do if u use someones lets say sprites, music, script, or even copyrighted game stuff is give them credit for it in the credits.


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Harryb412
post Jun 18 2011, 08:11 AM
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Perhaps we could get things a little more on topic and discuss the game rather than technicalities of copyright smile.gif


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thechossen1
post Jun 22 2011, 01:15 PM
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QUOTE (Harryb412 @ Jun 18 2011, 08:11 AM) *
Perhaps we could get things a little more on topic and discuss the game rather than technicalities of copyright smile.gif


Thank you


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killergermel
post Jun 27 2011, 09:39 AM
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First of all, you need to post screenshots so people will attract more to your game, just plane text is usually boring and unappealing. Correct your typos -
QUOTE
dmeon
QUOTE
he is hot heade
etc..
Also try to convey your message with a more lyric text. It sounds like your talking to some random guy on the street.
Another thing is this sentence:
QUOTE
because of this some of them summoned the dmeon that destroyed the gods but his power was too great...
. Who summoned the demon? the other demon or the people who hated the demons, either way its a crappy way to phrase yourself. The story is such a cliche, sounds almost like some recipe - demons attack humans, the protagonist is the underdog later to be discovered a hero who needs to save earth (or destroy it?!!? why would he be a hero by destroying it?? those demons are already doing good job on that...). Prison 5022? where is it? what is there to say about it? what is there to say about the whole world you live in? we need lore, background. The whole story looks like a big mess, it really confuses me. Again - a protagonist with unknown past and has some mysterious power = unoriginality!!
Also, how can crack be a bodyguard when he is a coward??
There are so many flaws with this game and so much room for improvement, that I was stunned to learn you're working on another RPG. Why are you on 2 RPGs at once?? Isn't one enough?
I hope you take at least some of my comments to consideration. I will review it again if you want when a demo comes out and I hope it wont be as incomplete and broken as this forum post.
Good luck.

This post has been edited by killergermel: Jun 27 2011, 09:40 AM
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thechossen1
post Jun 29 2011, 04:31 PM
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QUOTE (killergermel @ Jun 27 2011, 09:39 AM) *
First of all, you need to post screenshots so people will attract more to your game, just plane text is usually boring and unappealing. Correct your typos -
QUOTE
dmeon
QUOTE
he is hot heade
etc..
Also try to convey your message with a more lyric text. It sounds like your talking to some random guy on the street.
Another thing is this sentence:
QUOTE
because of this some of them summoned the dmeon that destroyed the gods but his power was too great...
. Who summoned the demon? the other demon or the people who hated the demons, either way its a crappy way to phrase yourself. The story is such a cliche, sounds almost like some recipe - demons attack humans, the protagonist is the underdog later to be discovered a hero who needs to save earth (or destroy it?!!? why would he be a hero by destroying it?? those demons are already doing good job on that...). Prison 5022? where is it? what is there to say about it? what is there to say about the whole world you live in? we need lore, background. The whole story looks like a big mess, it really confuses me. Again - a protagonist with unknown past and has some mysterious power = unoriginality!!
Also, how can crack be a bodyguard when he is a coward??
There are so many flaws with this game and so much room for improvement, that I was stunned to learn you're working on another RPG. Why are you on 2 RPGs at once?? Isn't one enough?
I hope you take at least some of my comments to consideration. I will review it again if you want when a demo comes out and I hope it wont be as incomplete and broken as this forum post.
Good luck.



it's called not attempting to spoil the story....

and i know about the vocab errors, dont judge me so...
and yes i will be posting screenshots

im not working on 2 games the second game is in an early stage and i wont work on it till this is done
its my 1st RPG so dont be so critical about it

and im still working on the tweeks so at least a few people like it....

thanks for the help though happy.gif

This post has been edited by thechossen1: Jun 29 2011, 04:31 PM


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killergermel
post Jun 29 2011, 08:02 PM
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What is called trying not to spoil the story? You can write so much background and exposition to the story and not revealing any of the game's plot itself. You could start by telling us about the world, eleborate more about the people who despise the demons, why did they come in the first place... You created an unfimiliar world and you gave us almost no background. Look at the stories of complete games forum and see how much they write there, in their forum post, and try to draw inspiration (not copy!!!) or at least look at the kind of background they offer... Good luck.

p.s, your signature creeps me out XD

This post has been edited by killergermel: Jun 29 2011, 08:19 PM
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Klokinator
post Jun 29 2011, 08:53 PM
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The problem with this whole topic, is that it is completely unreadable. Beyond the fact that the OP has such horrible grammar that I can't be bothered to read it, (and yes I understand that this is a game under construction) there are no screenshots of anything except the title screen. That being said, I probably wouldn't play the game anyway because if your grammar and grasp of the english language in the OP is a realistic representation of what the dialogue in the game would look like, I would not be able to enjoy it.

And I just read a little bit of the OP. IDK why, but it reminds me on "I, robot" crossed with The Matrix. And not in a cool interesting way, but in a ripoff sort of way.

/simoncowellseesigfordetails


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thechossen1
post Jun 29 2011, 11:45 PM
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QUOTE (Klokinator @ Jun 29 2011, 09:53 PM) *
The problem with this whole topic, is that it is completely unreadable. Beyond the fact that the OP has such horrible grammar that I can't be bothered to read it, (and yes I understand that this is a game under construction) there are no screenshots of anything except the title screen. That being said, I probably wouldn't play the game anyway because if your grammar and grasp of the english language in the OP is a realistic representation of what the dialogue in the game would look like, I would not be able to enjoy it.

And I just read a little bit of the OP. IDK why, but it reminds me on "I, robot" crossed with The Matrix. And not in a cool interesting way, but in a ripoff sort of way.

/simoncowellseesigfordetails


so wat your saying
this game sux, you should quit now,
well no, im aware of my bad grammar but my game grammar has been fixed and its in top shape, i have fixed and edited the game so it can be better and im still in its early stages,
and yes i will show screenshots

and i dont know what your talking about with I, Robot, or The Matrix, becaus i hadnt seen either

This post has been edited by thechossen1: Jun 29 2011, 11:48 PM


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thechossen1
post Jun 30 2011, 03:20 AM
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i decided to put the game on hiatus for like i dont know a month,cuz i have stuff to work on
if your one of the few people who aree acctually excited for this im sorry


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justabox
post Jun 30 2011, 10:45 AM
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This project sounds pretty cool! I like the way you have optional ways of playing through the game. I hope you get to return to work on it soon, I look forward to playing it asap.


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thechossen1
post Feb 17 2012, 06:11 PM
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laugh.gif I began working on the game, again and it has been modified, heres whats changed.

>I started the game over, and modified eveything.

>Facesets

>Voice acting at battles

>enhanced story

>Proper grammar

>2 guest party members

> anew title

>and more

thanks for reading

This post has been edited by thechossen1: Feb 18 2012, 11:49 AM


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Ashalinia
post Feb 24 2012, 06:34 PM
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There are still a few grammar errors littered around in your posts. I would consider copying and pasting it into a program like MS Word (that has spell check).

Otherwise.. I personally sounds fine, to what killergermel said... last year... I would ignore the thing about it being a cliche. It's not a bad thing to have a few of them, it's unavoidable really, and some cliches make solid backstories.

Also, I would enjoy seeing a few screenshots of the game play if that's okay. This game sounds pretty interesting.


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