Lit's Poetry Corner, some coarse language Options

[X-M-O]

That's another brilliant one! Cycles are something, eh? XD


And hey, it's good that you are almost running out of them - that means that you'll have to write more and hopefully you'll do that. =D
I hope to inspire artists to continue making art; art isn't something that ends after all. =]

[literarygoth]

Again thank you for keeping up with my thread it's greatly appreciated.
Ok I don't believe I've posted this one yet, but correct my if I'm wrong, just did a quick skim over what I've already posted. Delving into some much older works here with the last couple posts; I don't consider any of these my best works, and some are just downright terrible lol.

[Show/Hide] Oblivious

Oblivious

Written 2006

Looking under every stone
Every corner, every road untravelled.
Searching for the piece
That I've lost.
Somewhere on this winding path
I call life
Where is it?
Who can it be?
Lying alone at night
Watching the waning light
Trace new patterns
On the ceiling and walls
Longing for the presence
Of the one who can still
This increasing restlessness.

Silent as the grave
This house is a tomb,
Slowly driving me crazy,
Where are the voices
I hear in my head?
Where are the scenes
That play behind shut eyes?

Pacing back and forth
There's no where to go,
No exit that'll bring
Excitment, adventure,
Companionship.
So many have tried
To set my heart free.
Yet they were only
A facade of reality.
Leeches existing for their
Own selfish wants.
Satisfying their lust
And robbing me of my energy.

As the days turn to night
And night into day
Time slips away
The sands in the hourglass
Counting the days
Of loneliness,
That tear at my soul
Fading to dust, and lost in the wind.
I've lost my grip
The will to live.

- Jade Dye

This post has been edited by literarygoth: May 2 2011, 08:57 PM

[Xeyla]

That poem is so sad

On another note, I like it very much. It tugs at my emotions, almost making me feel them. Very well done, if I may say

[literarygoth]

That poem is so sad

On another note, I like it very much. It tugs at my emotions, almost making me feel them. Very well done, if I may say

Thank you very much Xeyla, and welcome!
I've posted several poems in this thread (all with the exception of one are mine) if you'd like to read them.
I'm working on creating some new poems, my folder is beginning to get thin; I've posted practically every poem I've ever written. Time to start writing again soon.

[darkhalo]

Again thank you for keeping up with my thread it's greatly appreciated.
Ok I don't believe I've posted this one yet, but correct my if I'm wrong, just did a quick skim over what I've already posted. Delving into some much older works here with the last couple posts; I don't consider any of these my best works, and some are just downright terrible lol.

Oblivious

Written 2006

Looking under every stone
Every corner, every road untravelled.
Searching for the piece
That I've lost.
Somewhere on this winding path
I call life
Where is it?
Who can it be?
Lying alone at night
Watching the waning light
Trace new patterns
On the ceiling and walls
Longing for the presence
Of the one who can still
This increasing restlessness.

Silent as the grave
This house is a tomb,
Slowly driving me crazy,
Where are the voices
I hear in my head?
Where are the scenes
That play behind shut eyes?

Pacing back and forth
There's no where to go,
No exit that'll bring
Excitment, adventure,
Companionship.
So many have tried
To set my heart free.
Yet they were only
A facade of reality.
Leeches existing for their
Own selfish wants.
Satisfying their lust
And robbing me of my energy.

As the days turn to night
And night into day
Time slips away
The sands in the hourglass
Counting the days
Of loneliness,
That tear at my soul
Fading to dust, and lost in the wind.
I've lost my grip
The will to live.

- Jade Dye

Wow, despair to the extreme...well nearly. What it does, it does well, and you certainly have a
distinctive style with verse. This particular one sends chills right through me.

[X-M-O]

Oblivious is another of your examples of strong emotions drawing the reader into your poem. It's another favourite. =]

I'm really interested in seeing a more recent poem, but I am enjoying all of them despite their "age". Keep posting!! =D

[literarygoth]

Thank you X-M-O and Darkhalo for your comments. I've -mostly- kept my poems semi secretive over the years, afraid to allow people to read them; I guess I was afraid that people wouldn't understand.

I feel the inspiration for another poem, just the words haven' formed yet. It'll come, but alas Thursday and Friday I have exams in school so I'm likely not going to write it in the next couple days xD
And I definately will keep posting.

[literarygoth]

Just found out today that my biological maternal grandmother passed away last Wednesday; i was at work when I got the news. Ended up writing the following poem, I know kind of cliche/emo - write a poem to deal with a tragedy, but it worked. Most recent piece I have.

[Show/Hide] RavenWoman

RavenWoman

Written July 31, 2010

I wish I could have known
You better.
Heard your voice,
Your laughter;
Seen your tears.

Your eyes are mine,
And mine, are yours.

The wisdom you possessed,
I will never know.
Faded memories,
Tarnished and worn,
Remind me
Of the woman I hardly knew;
Yet loved so much.

The bloodline is cut.
I feel it in my soul.

A wound so deep,
It cannot be seen.
You were my inspiration;
Taught me not to fight
The creative drive within.
Your art mesmerized
And dazzled
This young mind.

Greedy I was.
Thirsty for more.

A heritage so rich,
I'm wealthy
For being a part.
Our people, our family
Scattered; but strong.
Rest now, RavenWoman.
May your soul
Find peace.

-Jade Dye

This post has been edited by literarygoth: May 2 2011, 08:58 PM

[X-M-O]

I like it. Poems that commemorate someone are extra special. =]

By the way, "Greedy I was" sounded (as I read it in my mind) sounds like something Yoda would say.
(I can see him sitting there pondering, and then suddenly: "Greedy I was" and then making his funny little Yoda laugh. Erm-hm-hm-hm.)

[literarygoth]

I like it. Poems that commemorate someone are extra special. =]

By the way, "Greedy I was" sounded (as I read it in my mind) sounds like something Yoda would say.
(I can see him sitting there pondering, and then suddenly: "Greedy I was" and then making his funny little Yoda laugh. Erm-hm-hm-hm.)

Lmao I can see what you mean. Ironically, my boyfriend does the best Yoda impression; he can mimic his laugh perfectly.

[X-M-O]

That's awesome. I wish I could do the same, it would make certain situations much more easy to deal with, lol.

You should make a Jedi poem - just for fun - from the viewpoint of Padmé Amidala. =D

[literarygoth]

Hmmmm that is a very very interesting idea and I may just have to take you up on it, however it will likely be from Vader's perspective as he's my fav

[X-M-O]

Hey, he's my favourite too! That's great, you could make a poem from Vader's perspective and then have a response from Padmé Amidala, as if she were still alive watching him be Darth Vader. O.O

[literarygoth]

Careful, our inner geeks are showing...... *shifty eyes*
~forcechoke~
mwahahahahahahah

[literarygoth]

Ok so did a quick recount, I have only 6 poems left in my arsenal - only one of those I think is any decent, but I'll put em here to hear what you think. This is the only poem of the remainders that I like.

[Show/Hide] Burnt Bridges

Burnt Bridges

Written 15/12/2009

Gimme, gimme never gets,
You haven't learned your manners yet.
Always focused on what you want,
Can't see what you're about to lose.
The value of friendship
Isn't measured in dollars and cents.
Can't be bought, bartered nor traded.
Given freely.
Always a pillar of support;
Carrying your dreams and wishes,
Catching your tears,
Chasing away your fears.
It's a two way street.
Always taking, never returning;
Eventually the strongest bonds
Will crumble and shatter
Under stress of carrying all the weight.

- Jade Dye

This post has been edited by literarygoth: May 2 2011, 08:59 PM

[X-M-O]

That's an interesting one. It doesn't seem quite like a betrayal, however it does sound like someone was taking advantage of someone else.
It's well-written, and is highly punctual. =]
Great job. =D

[literarygoth]

Now this poem, was written under heavy intoxication >_<
There was a brief period in my life a few years ago where I 'hit the bottle' pretty hard. So pardon the work, it definately isn't one of my best pieces, but it is one of the most honest.

[Show/Hide] Jaded

Jaded

Written 2006

As I stare down
Into the bottom
Of yet anoher bottle,
I wonder
Is this really where I want to be?
Trapped inside these walls
Unable to escape
Or claw my way free.
They say "Go Out"
"Have some fun"
How can I have fun
When there's no one
I can call?
One good friend,
The rest are posers
Pretending they really care,
When all they want
Is to suck me dry
Of the blood that's
The only thing
Keeping me going.

Don't call me a whiner
I already know
These are the things
I don't tell a soul.
I just let them reverberate
Inside my skull.
Let the knives dig deeper
As I smile for the world.

So goodbye for now
Farewell and goodnight
While I enjoy this bottle
One last drink,
Maybe in the morning
It won't hurt so much.
By now I've realised
This road was meant
For me to walk alone.

- Jade Dye

This post has been edited by literarygoth: May 2 2011, 08:59 PM

[X-M-O]

You should be intoxicated more often when writing poetry, it really is a good read. =]

It's emotionally well-put, and perhaps something that a great deal of people share. We all need more real friends after all. =]

[Sparrowsmith]

I've never personally been a fan of 'sad' poems, so I'll stay away from critiquing them
However, I did really like Ravenwoman. There was so much about it that was well done, it reminded me of 'before you were mine' which is a personal favorite of mine.
I also liked Burnt bridges

I'll probably give a better criticism of your other works some time, for now I'm busy trying to reattach my Q button

[literarygoth]

Just wrote this one a few minutes ago - I'm not overly happy with some of it but meh, it's done lol.

[Show/Hide] Lynch Mob

Lynch Mob

Blame game
Point those fingers
And glare.
Bitch and moan
Sticks and stones;
Gossip Queens
Out for blood.
Highschool mentality
Does not befit you.

For every decision
A matching consequence.
You made your choice
Now deal with it.

"She has to go"
Repeat as you may
Change only comes,
When you find
Your own voice.
Talk now
Or be spoken for.

Do not hate the one
That succeeds.
Help was offered
And smugly denied.
You dug the hole
Find your own
Way out.

-Jade Dye

This post has been edited by literarygoth: May 2 2011, 09:01 PM