Okay, I'm not really inane (at least that's what I would have you believe), and I'd like to think that I'm perfectly normal for my own little world, but every once in awhile I tend to fall into pattern of behavior ranging from idiotic and demented to the occasional serious and contemplative.
And while it seems to be a growing fad for people (members and staff alike) to post their creative imaginings here, I felt it's time for me to do the same.
Daddy's Little Girl: First up on the list is my one main joy in life. My daughter, Kaleigh, keeps me smiling throughout the day. So does my wife, of course, just in case she ever reads this... Love you, dear.
In any case, she's now 19 months (my daughter, not my wife) and, while she may not have hit 2 years old yet, she's every bit a toddler as any 2 year old I have ever known.
Kaleigh (right) with her cousin Lila (left)
It's really quite amazing how much they learn, even when you don't realize it. For example, the other day my wife had changed her and gave her the old dirty diaper (rolled up nice and tight) and told her to throw it away. She thought she'd get the vicinity, but that was about it. Instead, Kaleigh obediently took the diaper over to the trashcan, knew how to lift the trashcan lid, and tossed the diaper in. We were so shocked that she knew what to do and gave her a bunch of praise. Now if I can only get her to understand that her potty chair is not a play chair.
Throughout her short 19 months, she's gone through almost every nickname I could think of. We called her Chunky Monkey and Little Sue for awhile because of how chubby she was after being born. Little Sue, as in short for Little Sumo. I've called her The Exorcist Baby, when she gets really mean and vicious, and we've nicknamed her Kay-Kay, Kay Dollie, and Kay-Kay Doll. She's got a sort of fetish for frogs, but so does her dad. I collected frog figurines for awhile, and she does everything she can to get ahold of them and play with them herself. Daddy's little girl. Also, her potty chair is a frog. And we have a family of frogs living in the window well that you can see from the basement window, and Kaleigh is always asking to be held so that she can see these frogs.
Regan MacNeil (aka Kaleigh) as a baby girl. For anybody who might be lost, Regan was played by Linda Blair in The Exorcist.
But... for every good day, there are some bad ones. There were a few times when the wife went shopping and left me alone with her (at the time a crying 3-month old). And so in order to maintain my peace I came up with a few funny songs, as I will now present them to you. Note: I have no idea what I was on when I came up with some of these:
This came to me during a phase of reading her nursery rhymes.
A Chimp For Me: A chimp for me A chimp for you, A chimp for three Includes Little Sue
I make one And you make two, Three chimps given To Little Sue.
A poem I came up with during one of her screaming fits, and nothing could calm her down.
Daddy Can't Sing: Hush, my baby, daddy can’t sing He’s tried just about everything.
He can’t hum so he’ll just talk While baby cries, and screams, and balks.
So baby, now, if you start to cry Daddy will just have to buy you a lullaby.
Okay, I suck at rap, but whatever.
Kay-Kay Rap: My name is Chunky Monkey I don’t know what to do My daddy says I’m chubby And calls me Little Sue. Mommy calls me Kaleigh Auntie calls me baby All I want to be Is just a little lady.
Kay-Kay, in the house!
And finally, one about myself, as I try to stay away from junk food.
The Pantry: What does Daddy have in here That Daddy doesn’t know? What does Daddy have in here That will make Daddy fat and slow? What does Daddy have in here That Daddy can eat today? What does Daddy have in here That should make Daddy stay away?
Well, now you know a bit more about myself... and my lovely daughter Kaleigh.
This post has been edited by amerk: Dec 12 2011, 01:19 PM
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Yes, but fare warning, some of my poems aren't so cute. More to come in Part 2.
Edit: I really had to pat myself on the back for the "Daddy Can't Sing" poem. I suck at lullaby's, and I thought that this one fit me perfectly, the kind of dad who would go out and buy a lullaby on CD or something before he can even risk trying to hum one.
This post has been edited by amerk: Aug 22 2011, 01:46 PM