The blue-eyed girl touched the glass gently with her hand. It was a simple glass, nothing unusual about it. What was so mysterious about a glass of apple juice?
But she stared at it with amazement in her eyes, touching it so softly as she got the feeling of coldness. Such a strange feeling to have a cold something against your fingers for the first time.
Her hand gently moved against the glass, getting more and more of that cold feeling. It was so cool to her, so strange to be living such a wonderful, new experience. To touch something cold.
Something as simple as that meant a lot to her.
Her eyes left the glass and she looked around her. That was a grand room she was in; a luxurious, splendid room. Her eyes moved to the table she was sitting at. Nothing unusual to anyone; a glass of apple juice, some pencils and pens lying about, a notebook and some school books. A study area; no kid would like to sit at that table.
But she was different. She looked at those things with wonder in her eyes, with such amazement as if she were beholding something grand, something really great. Her hands moved to the books and she softly touched them, her eyes moving around the pages, reading the words.
That was a chemistry book she was seeing. Chemical equations and strange names of elements; any kid wouldn’t want to even open that book. But she loved looking at those strange things, and just touching that book-such a wonderful feeling!
Enthusiastically, she flipped the pages and read more. Then with happiness and excitement, she looked at the other books. That was an English book, and that one was a mathematics book-so awesome! She looked about, flipping pages here and there and reading happily about what she never saw.
Her first time to peek.
As she continued to happily view the books, her eyes met the glass again. That nice, cold, cool glass with the apple juice. She liked touching it so much. Maybe she would enjoy drinking some of that juice, too.
So carefully, her hands moved it and gently wrapped its fingers around the glass. She carefully picked it up, and moved it slowly to her lips. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and then drank a little of that juice.
Just a little bit.
Such a wonderful feeling it was, to taste the apple juice. To taste something for the very first time! To have that cold, cool liquid wash down through her throat, softly and coolly. So awesome, so wonderful it was!
She drank a little more of that juice, feeling so happy with that amazing feeling; the feeling of drinking such a simple thing. Just then, a knock on the door was heard.
“Sweetie,” the blue-eyed heard, “Sia is here. Enough studying for today. She is waiting to play with you.”
That voice was her mother’s, she was so sure of it. The loving, caring tone made her know that it was. The way she talked to her, that motherly way.
Oh god, she heard her mother’s voice for the very first time! And she was going to see her, for the very first time!
With much happiness, much joy and almost tears of excitement, she got up and down from the chair, and ran to the door. On the other side stood her mother. She was finally going to see her, for the very first time!
I won’t let you, ugly, cruel creature!Just as her hand softly touched the doorknob, it stopped. The whole body stopped and the blue eyes were fixed, unable to do anything. A pain, such a powerful pain, streamed mercilessly through her body.
Just a moment…please, I want to see her. Please, please, please…I want to see my mommy.You mean, my mommy! Come back here, ugly, cruel creature! And in just a moment, the hand that was softly touching the doorknob fell to the side, and its body fell with it to the ground, as the girl closed her eyes, unaware of her mother who had opened the door and ran to check her.
But somewhere else, she was awake and aware, completely conscious.
The blue-eyed looked at her red-eyed sister with a sad, reproachful but loving look. Innocently, she spoke up,
“Why did you do that, Nerine? I just wanted to see my mommy…”
The red-eyed screamed at her in reply, “
My mommy, you stupid, ugly, cruel creature! How dare you even want to see her? Do you want her to have nightmare all night!?”
The blue-eyed looked a little scared, backed off a little but still replied, “I-I am sorry…I just wanted to see her. That’s all.”
The red-eyed Nerine walked up to her, and getting hold roughly of her arm, she yelled,
“How dare you take control of my body like that? How dare you!?”
The blue-eyed girl trembled in fear. That was her first time to take control of her body. The first time she actually saw the outer world. The first time she touched anything, felt what it was like to be a living creature. A true living creature.
Except that she didn’t ask for her sister’s permission.
Gulping a little, she replied, “I-I am sorry…I just wanted to see what it was like to have control and you didn’t let me do that when I asked for it. I am really sorry, Nerine…Please forgive me.”
Instead of having any pity for her lonely sister, the red-eyed Nerine violently let go of her, yelling in reply,
“This is my body and you have no right to take it like that, understand? Understand? I want you to stop this! Stop trying to take control of my body like that! Stop talking to me all together! Stop it, stop it, stop it!”
She screamed all that in such a scary, frightening way that the blue eyes quivered and their owner trembled with fear. She sounded almost mad, almost crazy. What was she like that with her, out of all people? What wrong had she done in life, to be treated like that from the only person she knew?
Nevertheless, she looked at her angry sister and with a small smile, she replied,
“I am very sorry, Nerine. I won’t do that again. You know how much I love you, right? I could never want to hurt you, no matter how much you might not love me back. You are my sister and the only one I know. If I don’t love you, then who could I ever love? I promise that I won’t try to take control like that again.”
She said in such an innocent, kind manner but the red eyes didn’t look any less angry. However, she said nothing more and was about to leave, when the blue-eyed girl said,
“Umm, Nerine, before you go…” she gulped a bit in hesitation, but then made enough courage to continue, “Can I ask you a favor, please?”
Although she could have probably just went on and ignored her, curiosity got the better of the red-eyed girl as she turned her head back to her and asked, “What?”
The blue-eyed blushed a little, and looking down with a smile, she replied, “Umm, I was wondering if you’d be so kind to lend me something. There was that beautiful book on your desk that was called…umm…Che-che-chemi…”
“Chemistry book?” asked the red-eyed, an eyebrow raised up.
Nodding with excitement, the blue-eyed replied, “Ahh yup, that’s it! Chemistry book! It was really beautiful, with all those strange symbols and pictures. Can I have it? Please, please, please?”
The red-eyed immediately replied with sarcasm, “Why the hell do you want that book? Why, want to find out what a donkey you are?”
Although the comment was direct and hurtful, the blue-eyed girl just replied, “I like it. Please, Nerine, please. I promise that I won’t bug you at all if you lend me that book. I just want something to read here, that’s all.”
The red-eyed was silent for a while. She didn’t want to give her sister anything that belonged to her. But if she were going to leave her alone for a while just for that, why not?
“Fine then. I will give you that if you are going to stop annoying me, ugly thing.”
Upon hearing her sister’s reply, the blue-eyed girl grinned happily and ran to her sister, hugging her gently and replying,
“Thank you so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are so wonderful and kind, Nerine!”
“Shut up already!” The red-eyed Nerine roughly broke off the hug, and continued, “I’ll get it for you tomorrow. Now just shut up.”
With that, she disappeared, leaving the blue eyes to just stare at the darkness alone.
As she sat down with nothing to do but just sit down, she began to think. What was she? A person. Where was she? Inside a body. How did she live? She didn’t know.
She was fifteen years old, but only a few minutes ago did she feel the outer world. Sometimes, she would look at it. She would peek at it, for just a few minutes. A few seconds.
She never saw her parents. She never had any friends. She never went to school. She never ate, she never drank; let alone the apple juice she drank a bit ago; her first drink ever.
She was always inside there.
The next day, the red eyes appeared before her again and she felt something being thrown at her. When she looked at what it was, she found it to be the same exact book she had seen in real life. That lovely, adorable chemistry book.
And along with it, a few chemical things to use: flasks, cylinders, tools.
Surprised to see the latter things, she looked up at her sister who had an annoyed, reluctant look. Seeing the innocent girl give her that surprised face, she spoke up,
“No, they are not mine, ugly thing. Sia, my cousin, forced me to give you these, too. She said that she didn’t need them and that they might help you actually try out the stuff in the book. So, yeah, she was throwing you her garbage.”
Despite the latter comment, the blue eyes lit up with happiness as Nerine finished her sentence. With much gratefulness and joy, she replied,
“Thank you so much! And please, tell Sia that I thank her too! She is really an amazing cousin!”
“She is my cousin. Now keep the deal and shut up,” with that, she disappeared again. The blue eyes observed the book with such wonder and amazement, read more and liked what she saw.
That book became one of the most precious and most valuable things to her. The very first thing to experience! A chemistry book!
Occasionally, she would ask her sister for more books on that wonderful subject, chemistry, and Nerine would agree. Not out of generosity or kindness as it might come to mind, but just so that the blue-eyed ugly creature wouldn’t bother her.
Nevertheless, no matter how hard she was, no matter how mean she was, no matter how cruelly she treated her, the blue-eyed had always loved her.
Her sister; the only one she knew. The only one who talked to her. Even if that talk was full of insults and mean things. Through those mean things, she saw the kind, lovely sister that she really was with other people.
Instead of blaming her, she understood her and understood her position.
She just loved her. She loved her sister and nothing mattered to her as much as her happiness did. To her dying day, she would love her.
To her dying day.
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Let Me Feel, Continuation to Let Me Peek
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May 18 2012, 07:46 AM
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