Story Outline Options

[Nycre]

I am not sure if I want to stick to this kind of plot, so I was hoping some of you can give
some criticism before i get more in-depth. Please and Tank you!

Plot - The main character's father is an herbalist. He has become ill and
the player must find the cure using your father's notes. You soon find out his
disease, and have to travel the world in order to save your father, for the only
cure is a rare plant that can only be found on top of a dangerous mountain.

Rising Actions - The main character's father is getting sicker and sicker
each day. He could not do his work, he can not move or talk. the character discovers
his notes, and learns about different plants, and tries to find them to cure
his father. The last plant left in his notes is a rare plant only found on top of an
dangerous mountain which no one dares to climb. The player travels the world
looking for ways to get to the top of the mountain, and will find other
companions to join him.

Climax - The character reaches the mountain and fights off deadly foes
and people who are also looking for the plant for its powers. The character finally
reaches the point to find out that the once and powerful plant has been withered away
and dead for years.

Falling Action - The character returns home and waits by his fathers side as he slowly passes
away. After his death the character dedicates his life from preventing this disease from taking more deaths

The End

[X-M-O]

It's an interesting story, and its ending is also rather sad, but it could make for an interesting game (seems to be very short, as the plot doesn't let you really expand much or deviate from the primary storyline).
Either way, I'd rather read a short book about this than play it in a game - because a game's plot generally needs to be less linear and this plot won't allow you to really allow the player to explore much of anything.
So having this as a playable novel might work, but I wouldn't expect much interest from players who are interested in special battle systems (which really wouldn't make much sense in this game based on the information I read above) or modern RPG elements (character growth, levelling, class options, etc.).
I could see it doing well as a book, as I mentioned, or a playable novel, but not really a full-fledged game. =]

[Nycre]

Thanks for the reply,
I was not looking for making a full fledged RPG just a short
game possibly under 20 minutes. It will be just enough for
the player to get a good feeling about the story. I'm glad that you found
the story interesting, and would read it as a short book.(perhaps this
will end up as a short story.)

I think I will go a little deeper with this plot, and see how it turns out.
Thanks

[Vexus]

I like the story apart of the last part.

After his death the character dedicates his life from preventing this disease from taking more deaths

No where in this story shows your character is a "doctor" or anything why would he dedicate his life to prevent this disease for strangers?

In my opinion the ending should turn "brighter" by maybe after your father dies he tries to turn page on his life and leaves the town or remains and forms a family with one of the companions you meet throughout your adventure.

This could make the story not focused 100% on the herb but slowly slowly your character and this companion get some feelings for each other that gets stronger the more they progress or something like that.

These are just tips not forcing you to change it or anything hehe.

This post has been edited by Vexus: Nov 15 2012, 02:32 AM

[Nycre]

Interesting you said this because I have went a little deeper into making this story, and I added
a character that dose fall in love with the main character.
As for the main character I also made him a training knight who then changes his occupation
to become sort of a doctor to save his farther. The Idea of the ending was to let the player
think of what might happen to the main character after his farther dies. Would he find a cure?
or will he give up and turn to a new page into his life.

So the ending is still the same, thanks for the tips.