Eternal Destiny, Completed Options

[Pinky]

This is a demo of one of my other games. It is different from the original Crystal Fire if you played it.

Story: About three thousand years ago in the world Hallida there was a war between humans and dragons. The humans hated the dragons because they were beautiful and ageless in human form. There jealousy was what caused the war. The humans killed many of the dragons and then took away their rights. The humans then ruled over the Dragon Kingdom and gave the dragons nothing.
One day a warrior named Lyle decided what they were doing was wrong. Even though he was human he had great kindness towards the dragons and other creatures. He accepted those for who they were and never judged anyone. This however caused another war, but this time Lyle sided with the dragons and they formed a peace treaty towards each other.
Now in the new age of peace or so they thought someone is going around destroying kingdoms that belong to humans. No one knows who or why they are doing this.

Characters:
Prince Sengal

Age: 16
Height: 6'3
Weight: 160lbs
Profile: Sengal is the prince of Korsin. He is not really supposed to leave his castle but he does any way on occasion. He has actually been outside of Korsin City with his best friend Balagan. He has even seen many places and loves to travel. His father died when he was only twelve years old and for some reason he cannot remember anything before he turned ten years old.

Princess Alya

Age: 17
Height: 5'3
Weight 123lbs
Profile: Alya is the Princess of Harwell Town. She is always attending to those in need. She usually likes to walk around the town and keep an eye on things. She is kind and cheerful, but she also has a very bad temper. However when she joins Sengal she seems to be hiding something.

Balagan

Age:17
Height: 6'1
Weight: 166lbs
Profile: Balagan is Sengal’s best friend they always hang out together. However Balagan is woman crazy and always ends up in trouble with them. Every time he attempts to talk to a woman he says the wrong things and ends up getting the heck slapped out of him or even beat up on occasion. He also very curious which always leads to trouble and Sengal sometimes has to knock some sense into him.

Prince Rycian

Age: 20
Height:6'
Weight:150lbs
Profile : Rycian is the Prince of the castle in a town that was destroyed by his mother. He really hates his mother because of the cruel things she has done to people. However he would do anything to help his friends or anyone in need. He plans to get his mother off of the throne somehow so that he can restore the city nearby that she destroyed and help out more.

Monique

Age:18
Height:5'2
Weight: 122
Monique is the Princess of the Dragon Kingdom and has been in charge since her parents were killed by a mysterious man and woman. She does all she can to protect the Dragon Kingdom even though she is very stressed out. When she found out that someone stole her mother’s Dragon Necklace she set out with Sengal to find them. She is an ice dragon and can turn into dragon form during battle since she has her Dragon Bracelet.

Screens: Not all of them are in game some are from the editor so I can show the whole map





Scripts I'm using:
Yanfly Battle Engine Melody
Shanghai's Wareforms
KGC Large Party
Shanghai's Fancy Deaths
Shanghai's Enemy linked deaths
Diakonos's BG by area
Mog's event sensor
Music:
Enterbain
Breath of Fire
Zelda
Fanal Fantasy Mystic Quest
Graphics:
Mack's Character Generator
Mack's Charactersets
Mack's Tiles
Face are from Legend of Heroes: Trails in the sky by Falcom

The game is now avilable here:
Full Game RTP Included for those who do not have VX
http://rpgmaker.net/games/3445/

Also Samurai Kadaj fixed the spelling and grammer errors for me
A game crashing error was fixed too and enemies no longer turn around to attack you.

This game is not for people under 13 it contains, Fantasy Violence, Mild Languge and
Suggestive Themes. Not that there is anyone under 13 here, I just want to be safe.

This post has been edited by Pinky: Sep 12 2011, 10:40 AM

[Axerax]

Clean up your thread. Please use [img] tags, I will leave this here for you to fix, if it isn't resolved in 2 days I will move this to project graveyard.
~Axerax

[Pinky]

I'm sorry but I tried img tags and they picture didn't show up. It just showed a red x with a white background.

EDIT: I figured out what I did wrong sorry about that.

This post has been edited by Pinky: Sep 8 2008, 12:47 PM

[Pinky]

BUMP! Sorry about the double post but I would like some feed back on this please.

[Shenrai]

Okay. I'm sorry to tell you this, but this needs major work.

First off is the lesser of all evils, the title. Now, the importance of a title to anything, be it a movie, game, or whatever, is that it do two things. (Two things, unfortunately, you were below par with.)

1. A good title will draw people in with interest. Yours really said nothing that would spark anything from anyone, and sounded more like an attempt to prettify your overall project. Not to mention not alot of sense seems to have been put in it's development. Which brings me to...

2. A good title will relate to what it is naming. I saw the point in the last part of it "Dawn of the New Age" from the story, but "Crystal Fire" really just sounds like your attempt at pretty words. That really threw off my perspective of it, and, like me, people will take a seemingly serious project with a "glittery" name with much less seriousness.

(Note: If the reason for the quick name was because you couldn't come up with a game true to your game, then just call it "Untitled" until something comes to you.)

Then we have the core problems involved. I'll start with mapping.

A good number of your maps have the same real problem. There is considerable empty space, both in the indoor and outdoor maps, there are many areas which have truly no signifigance, (all of the shops had mute shopkeepers) and there is so many tiles that have unlimited passibility. In other words, you could walk through that hedge maze within 3 minutes, obviously not supposed to happen, and you could even walk around inside the walls of nearly all the buildings.

Ah, and now for miscellaneous stuff that really needs work.

NPCs. They are good for many things, such as providing items, quests, and even background information. But one thing most project creators refuse to implement is the idea of "small talk". In other words, no one will just reveal things to the player as though they were programmed to. You need to let the player ask for it, and there are numerous ways to go about doing that.

And then, at last, the game and plot in it's entirety.

The plot was absolutely reckless, and from all that I played it had no underlying relation to the story you threw out in this thread. One minute you're visiting the inn, and you just so happen to find it in your heart to help a seemingly innocent girl steal from a neighboring kingdom. I mean, give the girl some sort of line that'll sway the prince into joining her, instead of just her asking and him saying yes.

Also, the prince's mother, very cardboard. She's either going to let her heir to the throne wander the land aimlessly or rot in jail his whole life because of a map? Not at all impressive characterization there.

And then there's the part with that angelic entity (who, by the way, looks like she has a cross sticking out of her skull in that screenshot) not really adding anything to the story but to get the prince to do what he probably would've done anyway.

Not to mention the battles were very short, and the dragon's breath skill did not fit the character at all. Plus the player never really got hurt, so it truly defeats the purpose.

And finally, the spelling and grammar. You really need to work on those, both in your post and game.

(Oh, and by the way, the game ends at that scene with the soldiers and the dragon. A faceset error, no doubt.)

In all honesty, please let someone test your game first, or do it yourself, because this project is not going in a good direction.

Thanks for listening and good luck.

This post has been edited by Shenrai: Sep 9 2008, 01:57 PM

[OrigamiRose]

The story is a bit cliché. "The world was once ruled in darkness, and one day, a guy sealed the darkness, and now, the darkness is back!" Is probably one of the most used plots, exept FF-inspired plots. Try to work on the story, so it really impress us.

Your mapping is a bit weak aswell. They need more details, and they are very bare. Try and read some tutorials. There should be some in the Tutorialbase on the main site.

I wish you all the best with your project.

[Pinky]

Thanks guys. However Shenrai please tell me what the faceset error is and I'll try to fix it. About mapping though, I'm not good at it and it's abit hard for me. Also if you haven't noticed I mentioned that I was looking team to help me out alittle with this game. Thank you for pointing everything out though.

[mudducky]

Well I have not had time to play your project yet, so I can't comment much.

From what I can see in the screenshots the facesets you have seem to match the characters very well, so congratulations on that.

Unfortunately though, I have to agree with Shenrai on the title. I felt it was a little odd. However my reason was more because "Crystal Fire" and "Dawn of the New Age" don't feel they match together well. If it was one or the other I would of felt more interested. In your case I think "Dawn of the New Age" would suit the game nicely.

For example of a better title, creatures are destroying all the kingdoms one by one. By the sound of it this is happening in secret. So in a few seconds I came up with “Declining Era” which may not be the best example. However I picked the words trying to relate it to the storyline. I’m sure you can easily think of something better even keep “Dawn of New Age”.

The title screen text feels very hard to read with the chosen background. After thinking about the title and recreating the title screen I suggest you use different colours.

I’ll try and comment more after I play the demo, though that may not be for some time. I iwhs you the best of luck with your project though. =)

This post has been edited by mudducky: Sep 10 2008, 04:09 PM

[Pinky]

I fixed the faceset error and reuploaded the demo, so if you downloaded it already you might want to again. I'll redo the mapping later.

[Mefisno]

Hey I started playing your demo and I've found a few issues with it.

1st I can seem to walk over everything.
Trees, walls, houses everything ha ha ha.

2nd your using the battlebacks script which I like but you might need to alter where your characters and enemys are in battle as they appear up walls and in trees and other weird places.

3rd waaaaaaaaaaaay to many random dungeon generator rooms.
If i see another I think I will cry.

4th. A throne battle back when you fight the dragon in town.

5th. When you defeat the dragon it repeats the cut scene about not being able to defeat the dragon.
and forces you to fight it again.

6th when everyone is killed I think those cut scenes are abit rushed and could be better.

7th a few spelling errors (Cousin, Seperate, Stole)

Good points.

1st. I did like the added humour when they walked in on the girl.

2nd. yeah your characters may be abit Cliche but oh well there a good set of characters.

3rd. I like the idea of the elemental characters.

[Pinky]

Thank's Mefisno. The odd thing is I can't figure out what is causing the dragon battle to repeat. Can you help me figure it out? I test played the game and that didn't happen. I could use a little help with game. I put a note on the post saying that I'm looking for a team. I also tried to make it so you can't walk on walls or trees but it's not blocking them off for some reason.

This post has been edited by Pinky: Sep 19 2008, 09:56 AM

[Mefisno]

on the dragon fight event if you make it so after you fight dragon it turns self switch A on and then make A a blank page that should stop it because I'm guessing that the dragon fights an autorun event.

for the walking on walls and trees thing that should be easily fixable
If you open up VX under the word "Game" there shoudl be like a pic of a lil vibrating guy or something ha ha ha.
click that.
then look at your tileset and make sure that any walls and things like that are set with an X above them.
O = passable
X = non passable
Star means you can walk behind it.

That should solve those two problems in theory.

Also sorry at the minute I can't help you with your project I'm working on my own.
Feel free to check it out it's in my Signature
But I don't mind ghelping you out with abit of stuff now and then.


This post has been edited by Mefisno: Sep 19 2008, 11:57 AM

[Pinky]

Thank you I'll see what I could do.

[Shenrai]

Well, good to see that you fixed that little faceset error.

On the other hand, now that I've seen more of your game, there are even more glaring errors. But let me sort of compact it this time...

The battles are still really uneventful, (most of them take three turns at the most) the characters still extremely cardboard (one second: "You're the guy who stole my map!" the next: "Oh I knew all along she was behind it!" ) and the story still too bewildering and rushed to make sense at all. ("Hey, you all want to find the Dragon Emblem?" "Why not?")

Granted, I didn't expect you to fix everything in the time between this post and last, but it doesn't hurt to give a reminder about what could use some fixing.

A few more things also. The spelling is still flawed in some places, and there's a big error...

(Enter that one room with the dragon statue, gold, crystals and such and...nothing happens. There's not even a way out. If you meant to end the demo here, however, then all you need is a message saying "end of demo" or something. Otherwise, that's not a good bug to have.)

[Pinky]

Thank you for pointing that out. I'll reupload it when I get a chance.

EDIT: I reuploaded the file. I don't really have time to test play my game because I have school work to do, but I think I fixed the error where the dragon battle repeats and the error where nothing happens when you enter the treasure room in the Dragon Emblem Temple, something should happen now when you enter that room now.

This post has been edited by Pinky: Sep 20 2008, 08:06 AM

[Mefisno]

Ok.
lets test the update and see what we can find to pick fault with (Joke)
(Ok I'm gonna list a ton of errors for you to fix because I'm nice like that )
Not like I'm trying to put you down or anything with all these it's just the more you fix the better your game will be have fun with fixing these ha ha ha
and look on the birght side at least I did'nt reach 50

Bad points/Errors

1. I can still walk on everything ha ha ha.
2. your weapons (and item's) shop totally blanks you when you try to talk to them.
3. Little girl in house says "Afrade" its Afraid.
4. your dudes in battle are still in weird possitions (For example the 1st fight the pirrate dude is in a wall and your main guy is nearly in a window ha ha ha.
5. Mia says "Prince Rycian stool it from me." Stool = Stole.
6. You might want to make it so it locks Mia's gear seen as she leaves. (Otherwise you can take it all of her and steal it)
7. You might need to work on your world map type map. (make the water look less square and more natural)
also it looks abit open an empty.
8. When hes crying in the church youve opend bracket with a wibbly one { and closed it with a sqaure one ]
9. abit odd in the church how he randomly starts talking to someone who magically appears out of no where.
perhaps you should add something like "who are you?" at the start or perhaps if you want it to be a secret when she leaves make sengal say "Wait! who are you and why are you helping me?" and then her saying "you will find out in due time". or something simmiler.
10. ahhhhh not these randomly generated dungeons still I can't stand the things ha ha ha.
perhaps making your own layout would be a better idea? It will make your maps look better aswel.
Or if you wish to use the random generator than please make them smaller. If I couldn't walk over walls I would be wandering in the castle dungeons for ever and lose interest very fast.
11. and you might want to change the drop rate of potions for slimes. Unless your supposed to find one every fight.
12. sengals line when your about to fight the dragon "I'm Afrade we will have to see about that" Afrade = Afraid.
13. Dragon bit still repeats it's self.
14. Alya's line after you beat the dragon "I never know I had a causin" Know = Knew, Causin = Cousin
15. Sengals line in the garden "That's it called the pond of roses" should be "That is called the pond of roses"
16. Alyas line in the garden "two worngs don't make a right" Worngs = Wrongs
17. sengals line in the inn after the queens death "She's my causin" causin = cousin.
18. sengals line in the inn after the queens death "come on Alya let's get sepereat rooms for the three of us" Sepreat = Seperate.
19. sengals line in the snow town "It's going to take her away to forgive you" away should be awhile.
20. also does Balagan know what happend to the queen? Perhaps Sengal should mention his whole family have been killed? (it is quite an important thing)
21. item shop in snow town doesn't work.
22. dude with green hair in a snow town house (bottom right house) "They that at night the snowmen people make come to life. thats why everyone is afrade to leave their house at that time" should be... "At night the snowmen people make come to life. Thats why everyone is afraid to leave their homes at night" (just sounds better)
23. weapons shop guy in snow town doesn't work.
24. Rycians line outside the snow town. "you're that bratt who stool map the other day! Get the hell out of my face!" should be "You're that brat who stole my map the other day! Get the hell out of my face!"
25. Sengals line right after that "She said you Stool it from her" Stool = stole
26. Sengal in the dragon emblem cave after Rycian is chanting that ancient language "Thats the ancient languge" Languge = Language
27. ok the games got passed the kind of intro bit now I'm guessing yet your enemys and bosses are still very weak compaired to the characters strength. you need to really power up enemys and bosses. (ice behemoth boss beat in 2 hits)
28. oops sorry i accidentally skipped some conversation after the ice behemoth boss but I did glimpse a few spelling errors.
29. Umm spiders in an ice cave? odd choice of enemy to put there.
30. also on the subject of that ice cave,... ... ... AHHHHHH NO MORE RANDOM DUNGEONS PLEASE!!! ha ha ha.
31. ice cave boss waaaaaaaaaaaaay to easy. toughen them up times it's life by at least 20 or something.
32. Sengals line inside the ice cave "We used to play togeather when we were little" Togeather = Together
33. erm I tried to change my party and the whole team dissapeared except Sengal thats a HUGE error ha ha ha.
34. mystery guy at the end of ice cave. "I'm Afrade you have no choice" Afrade = Afraid.
35. Era town guy with green hair at the door Cloacked = Cloaked.
36. Jesus do any of your weapon shops work ?!?!?! ha ha ha. weapon shop in Era doesn't work.
37. the guy in the house next to the inn in Era town says "tastey" Tastey = Tasty.
38. oh wow your item shop in Era works but only if you stand on the table ha ha ha.
39. Oh wait all your shops work but only if you stand on the table.
40. ok I'm begging you now please please please no more randomly generated dungeons. Landiria castle looks more like a dungeon/maze type thing than a castle.
41. Nixon boss fight (Yeah thats what I'm talking about much harder) but it was still way to easy.
42. ok... ... ... WHAT THE HELL HAPPEND. suddenly I'm on my own getting beat down by my evil twin and the evil woman. sorry I lost the plotline totally then. you may need to explain where your other 4 party members dissapear to and why youre there on youe own.
43. why is the spell shadow an ice animation?
44. Your cut scenes are still quite rushed they might need filling out abit and lengtheneing (ok i spelt that totally wrong)


Good points

1. I like your first town and having the patience to do each house is impressive (Even though its a copy and paste job )
2. Your status screen is awesome man ha ha ha.
3. Your boss music is great I used this once before in a game I made years ago (brings back memories ha ha ha)
4. ha ha ha I still like the humour of Balagan walking in on Alya.
5. ha ha ha Balagan wandering of to steal treasure ( He is deffo my fave character)
6. Alyas line right after it is good aswel. You use good humour in places.
7. It's great hearing some 2003 music on this game (I use 2003 music in my game)
8. I like your teleporter puzzle (But while you can walk through walls it's not to succsesful)
9. Switches are good aswel.
10. Nixon boss music was awesome what is that?
11. boss fight vs Nixon an Elka was a good fight quite hard I enjoyed the challenge

Side notes

1. Something about the line. "you know his aunt is evil" just made me laugh ha ha ha.
2. I noticed you fixed the dragon battle back.
3. perhaps less ominous music should be used for the prince talking to Alya in the garden?
4 You've done a good job at showing some of the characters personalitys (For example it's obvious that Balagan is going to be an amusing character.)
5. Nice boss in the ice cave thats a graphic iv'e used before.

And now I need to rest my poor fingers.
(A mate of mine did this for my game when he tested it and he sent me back over 100 errors ha ha ha)

This post has been edited by Mefisno: Sep 22 2008, 02:57 AM

[Pinky]

Thank you. Sorry about all the errors though I'm still trying very hard to fix them.

[Mefisno]

Ha ha ha it's ok the main thing that botherd me was those randomly generated dungeons they are a menace to games ha ha ha.
Although you can count on me to keep testing now.
For some reason I like this game and think if you can gather the storyline together (as it's all quite loosely connected at the minute)
sort out the maps.
and make the enemys stronger.
This will turn out to be quite a good game.
(ahhh your veiws for your game are almost as much as mine. I'm putting myself out of buisness by keep reveiwing an d bumping your game ha ha ha)

[Pinky]

Thank you. Right now I'm writing this game out as story and then when I'm done with that I'll put it together in the game. So it might be awhile before the next update.

[Pinky]

Sorry about the double post, I just wanted to let everyone know I'm still working on this, However I 'm moving the project to RMXP for more mapping options. This is not a dead project, but it will be awhile before the next demo.