Group: Member
Posts: 67
Type: Artist
RM Skill: Skilled
I've been working on a dedicated mecha-themed RPG with many friends. The main characters are part of an advanced mercenary group, which I'll admit is a bit like Mithril from Full Metal Panic ;P Right now a lot of details are still unfinished but I guess I'll be updating it as we get more done. It's still pretty much in the rough stage. But I thought it was enough to post so far, so yeah.
Story stuff
Details, Story, etc.
The story is set in either future (2080ish) Earth or another planet (yet to be decided.) There's two countries, Jovialis (the "good" faction) and Sarkazein (a dictatorship much like Nazi Germany though classy.. like britain I guess,) whom are at war with each other. (Current idea for how the war started: we might change it later.. Just filler stuff yknow.. could work though idk). Once a single nation, a civil war started when two sides of the nation had conflicting views; one of dictatorship and power and the other of peace and freedom. Eventually, this evolved to become a full war, with the nation being divided. Jovialis believes winning the war will free the citizens of Sarkazein's rule, while Sarkazein believes retaking Jovialis will form a greater empire.
Sarkazein requires much of the lower-class population to work in factories to build military equipment, ammunition and such. The cities have vastly differing areas, with slums for said workers, and prestigious urban areas where the richer people reside. Other able men are also sent to fight in the war.
A portion of the human population are born with enhanced abilities, such as perception, intelligence, or rarely, Force-like powers. Those found in Sarkazein to have these characteristics are sent to special labs/facilities where they are trained, experimented on, and brainwashed, to eventually serve in the military. Often using harsh procedures. so something like the typical "The Empire" type of faction.
Jovialis is a more peaceful, yet also powerful and advanced country, which the protagonists' organization is not directly affiliated with, but often sides with.
Then there's the terrorists/and or hostile secondary organization, who are actually working with a branch of Sarkazein's military, though this is not uncovered until later in the story.
The protagonist organization also act as vigilantes, appearing when needed or taking down terrorists, criminal organizations, gangs, and such. They have many connections, which provide them with arms, technology, information, and such. Thus having advanced technology, including top-grade mechas.
Battles involve the usage of firearms, as well as laser blades, much like Phantasy Star Universe. Only with pilotable mechas as well.
Other missing details well... we're working on. ;p
Characters
Characters
V- imprecise ages lol
Protagonists
Main character
^ unfinished concept buuut thought it might be good enough
Age: Early 20s Weapons: Longsword. SMG Born in: Jovialis
He's the main character.. yet ironically unnamed as of the moment (likely because I was the one entirely in charge of this character's design and quite honestly I am the wooorrrsstttt at naming characters.) Buuut we will come up with a name soon hahah. Confident and a bit cocky, but also friendly and quite easygoing. His sister was abducted when he was a child, during a break-in by soldiers of his home.
Gemma
^ old-ish picture, arm is a bit off. but my scanner is broken right now. sorry :/
Age: Teens Weapons: Pistol, sniper Born in: Jovialis
An optimistic girl, who's also pretty smart. Not much else written atm.
Rachel
Age: Early 20s Weapons: Pistol, dual knives Born in: Sarkazein
Someone like a ninja, also with strong force-like psychic powers. She has a sister named Rue. Both were found to have strong potential powers, and thus were taken to facitilies to undergo training, experiments and brainwashing. However, she eventually escaped, due to having powerful abilities. She has a tough attitude, a bit tsundere.
Rex
^ Artwork done by a friend this time.
Age: Young teens Weapons: Various experimental weapons Born in: Jovialis
Quite young, though very intelligent, and is the head mechanic/technician of the protagonist faction. Obviously, he has a good understanding of technology and such, able to repair and build complex machinery.
Many other characters planned, but we don't have much details yet (not that we do for anyone pretty much yet, but still xD) -including a black dude, another badass, and others
Technology
Technology
Mass-produced mecha concept
The scale comparison is kinda off... I'll update the drawing as soon as my scanner is working again. Took this with my phone though ;P
I will always remember that day. The day everything changed. I’ll never forget… that day… the day my family was torn apart because of them. It all began that stormy March afternoon…
“What’s with that stomping noise?” I muttered to myself… It was the beginning of spring and with spring came rain. It had been pouring outside, so any chance of some kind of event or parade happening was impossible. Besides, the closest parade was the annual Mecha parade, which happens in the heart of July. Opening the door, I was greeted with the sight of several men with large guns and goggles headed my way.
A sense of foreboding appeared, and I instantly slammed the door and called out to my dad. He rushed into the room with his shot gun… this meant he knew about it. He knew that these people were going to attack us. With a grim look on his face, my dad yelled at me, “Take your sister and hide! Don’t come out no matter what!”
Nodding in understanding, I grabbed my crying sister, and together, we hid under the bed. I tried to calm my sister down, and thankfully, it worked. Loud bangs could be heard at the door. They were here. I strained my ears, trying to hear any clue of what was happening. The banging had finally stopped for a while. I sincerely hoped that the figures with guns had given up… but I was proven wrong. A gun went off, and a large slam followed the sound.
I heard my dad shouting at the people, something about how they, the terrorists, would never achieve their goal. A gunshot met his words, and a loud scream of pain resonated throughout the house. It lasted several seconds before a second gunshot rang out and all was silent once more. My sister let out a quiet whimper.
All we could hear at that point was the various footsteps going around the house, as if they were searching for something. Inevitably, they entered the room we were hiding in. They didn’t notice us, and knew it was only a matter of time before they would give up. A pair of dirty boots appeared right in front of where we were hiding. One of the terrorists sat down on the bed, oblivious to our presence.
A second man entered the room and said, “He was right. They aren’t here right now.” That’s strange. I could’ve sworn I’ve heard that voice before….
The one on the bed replied in a confused voice. “That’s impossible. They don’t have school today.”
“Why’d you knock him unconscious anyways? We could’ve tortured him for information!”
“He had to pay for shooting me in the arm. That son of a b-“
“Calm down. We’ll find them soon enough. There’s no way they aren’t here somewhere. We need the information on those mechas with the exceptional strength they built. With it, we can finally destroy the government!”
Who is this person? I swear I know him. But how could I know someone who worked for terrorists? There was no way that could ever happen.
After a moment of silence, the one on the bed slowly got up and said, “Well, if they aren’t here, then let’s just kill him and take the information.”
When my sister heard him, she let out a quiet whimper, but in the near dead silent room, everyone could hear it. Before I could do anything, my little sister was pulled out from under my bed. She let out a loud shriek and tried to get back to me, calling my name, but it was futile. She was taken out of the room, even as the man with the familiar voice looked back at me. I finally realized who it was. He was the father of one my childhood friends who moved away a year ago.
“Thank whatever deity you worship boy. We only needed one of you, and we are in too much of a rush to bother with you. Forget what happened today. If you ever try to come find us, know that you will die.” And with that, he sprinted out of my room.
I tried to chase him, but I heard my dad call my name. I turned to see him bleeding, his shirt soaked in blood. He said my name again and again…
I then heard a different voice call out. “Snap out of it, FOOL!!” This time, it wasn’t my dad, but my team mate. It seems like I was having those flashbacks again…
Written by Kousou, Kaachi and I.
Well, it's not the most.. but again, I thought it might be nice to know if this is going in the right direction xD
This post has been edited by Tsureiyu: Apr 3 2012, 05:49 PM
Group: Member
Posts: 6
Type: None
RM Skill: Beginner
First off, I just <3 futuristic based RPGs. Bonus for having huge f'n robots!
I just have a few quick questions about the plot though. Or more appropriately, the setting:
- First, are there other countries in this world? If so, what are their feelings/concerns inre: The Jovialis/Sarkazein war? Do they not want to get involved? Do some countries side with the two warring lands, to the point of providing soldiers and/or weapons (If yes, perhaps they do so as part of a proxy war of their own, a'la USA/USSR during the Cold War, when they used other countries' struggles to hash out their own ideological differences.). Okay, that's more than one question there, but it all ties in
- Second, if this world is based on earth, where would Jovialis and Sarkazein be located, continent-wise?
- And what of this terrorist group secretly aligned with Sarkazein? What is their purpose in all of this? Are they out to undermine the Jovalians' government? Or is it something more subtle, where they appear to be fighting Sarkazein on the surface whilst advancing their goals behind the scenes?
- Now, in regards to the first cutscene: Is the entire thing meant to be narrated from the protagonist's POV as the key scenes play out in the scene? If so, I'd think that if you plan on showing the player these events, it might feel a bit ham fisted to have someone narrating what can already be seen and interpreted.
Just a small example of what I mean.
SCENE 1: We show a top-down establishing shot of our POV character. He is lying on a cot in a sparsely decorated dim room, hands behind his head with his eyes closed. He appears to be asleep.
POV: [VOICE-OVER] I will always remember that day. The day everything changed. I€™ll never forget€
WIPE TO SCENE 2
SCENE 2: This is a medium shot of what looks to be the POV character as a small child. He sits at a table, drawing or whatever it is he likes to do at this stage in his life.
SFX: *WHUD! WHUD!*
BOY: What€™s with that stomping noise?
[The Boy stands from the table, and makes his way over to the window to investigate]
SCENE 3: We are now looking from the boy's point of view as he stares out the window. It is a dark day out, and vision is further obscured by a torrential downpour of rain. We can see the boy's face reflected in the glass. WAY in the background, we can see a group of people moving toward the house. They are cloaked by the rain and darkness though, so we have no idea who they are or what they might be doing on such a day.
SCENE 4: Close-up on the boy's face, as his expression changes from curiosity to sudden terror.
SCENE 5: Looking back out of the window, where we can now see that the group of men approaching the house are wearing goggles and carrying large rifles in their hands.
SCENE 6: We follow the boy from behind as he runs to another room where an older man, presumably his father, sits.
BOY: DAD! MEN ARE COMING HERE! THEY HAVE GUNS, DAD! WHAT'S GOING ON!?
SCENE 7: We cut to the father's face now. He wearily sighs and closes his eyes, nodding as if to say that he knew something like this would happen. His eyes open once more and he looks at the boy.
DAD: [Trying to be calm and assuring for the child] Don't worry, kiddo! Everything's going to be fine. Dad's going to take care of everything. Just take your sister and hide, okay?
SCENE 8: A side view of both the boy and his father. The father gets to his feet and makes his way toward the fireplace, reaching out to a shotgun hung above the mantle. He turns once more to the boy, who is obviously petrified with fear.
DAD: GO! And don't you two come out until I tell you!
[The boy finally runs out of the scene.]
But it looks like you have a solid enough concept. Looking forward to seeing it fleshed out a bit more. Keep me posted!
Group: Member
Posts: 67
Type: Artist
RM Skill: Skilled
Yoo, thanks! Yeah, we were kinda thinking that we would have to adapt it into cutscene form.. though I guess the novel-like script could be used as literature on Dev-art or something. A lot of those questions also I was thinking to myself in fact xD we're still thinking and writing those types of details. I guess if there's anything I can answer right now, it's that the terrorists are unknown to be working with the military, and are still seen as terrorists by the Sarkazein citizens. They're trying to take down the Jovialis government primarily, and also know about the protagonist's organization. Likely they'll "attack" Sarkazein too, either as a secret punishment for certain areas (due to whatever thing that displeased the government) or to keep their terrorist image, though be "fended off" by the military without much casualties on any side.
When we think of more, I'll be sure to keep you updated
Group: Director
Posts: 6,347
Type: None
RM Skill: Undisclosed
Hey guys, sorry to interrupt here, but I wanted to let you know that it isn't necessary to quote the entire previous post every time you reply. When you click the small Reply button (underneath someone's post) it automatically quote their entire message. It really makes the topic page very long with just quoting the previous post, so please try to edit that out if you use the reply button in that way. =]
(It's generally not necessary to quote the person that posted before you unless you are taking one very specific piece of that post and making a point around it; just to keep things easier to read for everyone.) Thanks! ^^
(Oh, and I already fixed the posts by removing the quotes for you.)
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Sci-fi/Mecha-themed RPG, First cutscene, and other details.
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Apr 3 2012, 05:21 PM
