Lies your parents told you. Rating Options

[Oko]

We've all been lied to by our parents at one point or another. What particularly bad lies do you remember being told, and which ones did you actually believe?
I'll start with the obvious: Santa Claus.

[Show/Hide] Spoiler

[Harryb412]

My mum told me that a watched pot doesn't boil.

I WATCHED THE POT
OH YES
I WATCHED THAT POT

And. . .
IT BOILED!


So yeah, that's a lie, A LIE that I didn't believe.
Hence me watching the pot to prove me right.

This post has been edited by Harryb412: Jul 22 2010, 12:36 PM

[pablo_jones]

my parents beat me as a kid

so i guess they didnt lie

[X-M-O]

My parents are realists, so they never lied about anything in front of me. However, they did lie to each other a lot, so it was kind of funny for me. =]

[Sparrowsmith]

my parents told me a number of things which they didn't know were true or not, which might as well have been lies...
"I don't think we have enough money to send you to China"
6 months later, in china

oh yeah, and every single fairy tale ever, I believed them all

[Trickster]

Me: "Where do babies come from?"
Mum: "Babies are lovely gifts from God..."
Me: "But... why does God give all his babies to people?"
Mum: "So that they can share the same pleasures as he does."
Me: "So.... can we get the same babysitter as God..?"

This conversation lasted for agesm revolving around God and babies o.O
For some sick reason, my uncle had it recorded and felt obliged to show it to me on my birthday.
With friends around
It was funny to watch nonetheless

There's also one that isn't EXACTLY a lie, but the way I look at things... yes it is false.
"Monsters aren't real" <------ LIE!!

[literarygoth]

My mum didn't lie to me about anything other than Santa and the Easter bunny.
There are some things she told me that I wish she had lied about.
Ironically, she was so honest with me, but leads a very dishonest life herself.

Sidenote: "A watched pot never boils" - is a figure of speech, not to be taken literally xD

[Harryb412]

Yeah.
<_<
I knew that.
>_>

xD

Thinking about it now I can't really remember any lies that my parents told me,
other than obvious stuff like "What did I get for teh christmas!?!11!!1"
Mum, "I DUNNO LULZ"
Me, ":o You totally do."

This post has been edited by Harryb412: Jul 23 2010, 12:20 PM

[MyPhantomile]

Quite a few if I recall.

Picking your nose would damage your brain and your finger would come out of your eye socket. This one scared me for quite a few years.

Cracking open the pips in fruit often led to diamonds being inside.

Of course, Santa Claus. Although they were convincing as the mince pies and carrots (for the reindeer) were eaten in the morning, haha.

Shaking your head too fast will make your brain explode.

EDIT: Thinking about it, they said the same about holding your breath.... except your lungs would explode... <_<

Aren't parents just lovely people? They lie about the pointless stuff but have no qualms over talking about their horrible sex life. One lie I would have enjoyed was being told that sexual organs drop off after 30. That'd be nice.

[Oko]

XDD @ Harry's story
Also, I've never heard those ones before Phantomile. Man, your parents are damn creative. Some more I remember:
If you make a funny face, your face will be stuck like that. FOREVAAAAAR. DDDD: I was afraid of doing so much as sneezing, man.
If you cry at night, devils will eat your legs. (WTF MOM THAT WAS SADISTIC).
If you WHISTLE at night, something bad will happen. (Scared the hell out of me NOT knowing what bad thing would happen)
If you CUT YOUR NAILS at night, something bad will happen. (Scared the hell out of me ;_;)

[DementedCashew]

My parents never told me things that sadistic, that tried to lies about other things though, but nothing sexual. They told me where babies came from, and other things about their marriage before I was born (I wished they had lied to me about those things!). Other than that they never lied to me.

[Harryb412]

XDD @ Harry's story
Also, I've never heard those ones before Phantomile. Man, your parents are damn creative. Some more I remember:
If you make a funny face, your face will be stuck like that. FOREVAAAAAR. DDDD: I was afraid of doing so much as sneezing, man.
If you cry at night, devils will eat your legs. (WTF MOM THAT WAS SADISTIC).
If you WHISTLE at night, something bad will happen. (Scared the hell out of me NOT knowing what bad thing would happen)
If you CUT YOUR NAILS at night, something bad will happen. (Scared the hell out of me ;_;)

Did your mum just hate you doing things at night? XD!
And lol, MyPhantomile. Like Oko said, creative parents you have there. xD

Also, MyPhantomile, my parents did that at christmas too.
Funny thing is, we always left Baileys for Santa, happened to be one of my mums favourite drinks around christmas time. XD

[Reshiram//Exe]

"Monsters aren't real" <------ LIE!!

A monster could be termed as a Large animal.

[Tsutanai]

If I didn't go to bed before midnight a witch would come and boil me alive

[Reshiram//Exe]

Ahh another great one.

"If you are bad ,Santa clause won't give you presents, He will give you nightmares for the rest of your life"

[Hirei]

If I didn't get good grades I'll end up turning into a frog or something similar XD

[Nommy]

My mother told me that my penis was going to fall off and I'd die of AIDS because I slept with a girl who lived in my apartment complex.

I was 13 ;_;

[MyPhantomile]

Ouch, that's a horrible thing to say to your kids, haha!

Similarly, my mum ran in on me "doing the business" when I was like 10 years old. We had a lovely chat about it afterwards and while she said it was perfectly fine to enjoy myself, I would have to be careful because not only would I go blind but I'd also get hairy palms... Doesn't really act as a deterrent though, heh.

[romeboy109]

As much as I try to remember, the only thing that comes to mind is Santa Claus.

[brightcrazystar]

Lies I was told by parents:

"all kids have to start working when they are 9." (I grew up working some every summer, learning construction and earning school supplies money.)

"we are saving the rest of your money for your college fund." (step father was blowing it on his whores, drugs, and fishing trips)

"Jesus and his disciples wrote the Bible." (modern bible comes ultimately from Nicean translation into the vulgate, which was written by Irenee' DeLyon, and no one has seen the original books outside the vatican since the third century A.D. Irenee wrote things indicating he may have destroyed the original.)

"Genetics is something you shouldn't do your 2nd grade science project on." (wanted me to make a baking soda volcano.)

I dispelled Santa and Easter bunny at a young age, but believed I could talk to horses and they could talk to me, but only in direct sunlight, go figure. I was a weird kid, but not one for total fairytale logic. My criticism and scrutiny were too much for my parents. They simply threatened to beat me if I confounded their attempts to lie to my sister or brother about that stuff.