QUOTE (Clord @ Nov 13 2012, 12:18 AM)
Well for starters, it was hard to read.
I know that generally when one reads fiction, there is things what should not be questioned but... I was wondering why the Lucifer waits over 400 years to obtain the Amulet if he knows where it is? Is there some kind of logical reasoning for that? Not that it needs one, but it would make the storyline a bit better.
"Later that month the travelers was searching in a cave for sell-able goods when a human-ish form came and wanted something, although they knew they played stupid. Another voice then rang out into the darkness and shed light on the traders, and spooked the human-ish thing away. The traders then thought about testing the one who saved them to see if he was the one. "
This part made no sense in the end. Who was one of what? Chosen one? But who they assume, what to be?
Stuff like what this so called power the King's soul possess can be of course explained later if at all.
The traders was on there way to the town of (town name) for there monthly trade route when they stopped at a cave to rest, it being a hot day the cave was cool and as they approached they noticed a small body of water setting in the middle of the cave. The traders walked in and sat by the water as they rested and cooled down. The cave was dark, and the traders as was old and couldn't see well, as it was. Berker the so called leader of the two heard something at the entrance of the cave, Berker stood up and turned around to see a blue character, human shape was all he could tell of it. It slowly made its way over to the duo when another voice came ringing out, is there any one here!? the one shadowy figure vanished as a blind and green figure came into focus. The three of them headed the rest of the way to town to talk the events over.
I re did it, maybe this makes a little bit more since? Also the game picks up here so the rest is explained in the game from there
This post has been edited by markchapman10: Nov 13 2012, 11:47 AM