Im back with more art!, Final Fantasy 6 painting of Terra Options

[X-M-O]

I think Shaddowval has a point, even the Roman soldier should have his sword sheathed in a children's book.

Though, I also have a suggestion in terms of the font you've used. Children's books are usually supplements for the child learning to read, and as such I think the font should be larger and more friendly (or even if not friendly in style, perhaps use a large font that has some relevance to the Roman era - of course, Times New Roman isn't what I mean, lol).

I think your best artistic trait/quality in that image is how well you draw arms - very detailed. ^^

[Lato]

Ah feedback is always good! Well this IS still the story of Kingdom so Bruten needs his sword lol. I am not going to have any blood or nudity in this one. Though good point about the font, it does need to be bigger, im still working on the page, smoothing out all the ruff edges which takes a while, I wanted to see if I could get it to look good enough that it would even be worth doing and I think its almost there. My game got funded and my graphic novel is getting funded right now so I really wanted something to give back to the ppl as a extra thank you.

[X-M-O]

I would expect no blood or nudity in a children's book, lol.

You should totally make the sword chibi-styled (like a Kirby sword). That way it looks more child-friendly and less sharp like a knife.

[Lato]

I would expect no blood or nudity in a children's book, lol.

You should totally make the sword chibi-styled (like a Kirby sword). That way it looks more child-friendly and less sharp like a knife.

Kirby sword? I dont think I have ever seen a chibi style sword, can you show me what you mean?

[X-M-O]

Kid-friendly sword:


Not kid-friendly sword:

[Lato]

But thats a fantasy sword...and Kingdom is a historical game, that just doesn't make any since, though it is funny how you put the non friendly kid version lol. I guess I could just make it for younger audiences, I really dont want to put a age cap on it though cause its still art.

[X-M-O]

I agree, I was just meaning that the sword should be a little less "knife" and more sword-like.
The image you have makes it look like a small dagger and/or knife, which could be confused with a kitchen knife, for example.
Children do make associations like that. =]
A friend of mine, who is also a locally published writer, makes children's books and had a dispute with a parent who considered the needles pictured in her book to be dangerous, and they had to be removed before the publisher would actually print the material. (The parent that had the dispute was working on the publisher's review team; the needles were just what the grandma in the story was using for knitting.)

I mean, I think you wanted to publish this online so you might not have an issue using that sword as it is, but it's just a concern I had when you mentioned it being a children's book.
I guess I'm just being a worrier, lol.

[Lato]

I agree, I was just meaning that the sword should be a little less "knife" and more sword-like.
The image you have makes it look like a small dagger and/or knife, which could be confused with a kitchen knife, for example.
Children do make associations like that. =]
A friend of mine, who is also a locally published writer, makes children's books and had a dispute with a parent who considered the needles pictured in her book to be dangerous, and they had to be removed before the publisher would actually print the material. (The parent that had the dispute was working on the publisher's review team; the needles were just what the grandma in the story was using for knitting.)

I mean, I think you wanted to publish this online so you might not have an issue using that sword as it is, but it's just a concern I had when you mentioned it being a children's book.
I guess I'm just being a worrier, lol.

Hmm well maybe its good someone worries lol, I tend to get so focused on my work I get tunnel vision sometimes. And I wish I had a publisher that did all my works lol, sadly I have to self publish all my own works which sucks but at least my work is good enough to get funded so that cuts down on the costs a bit.

You are right though, it does look like more of a dagger then a sword so I think I will edit it a bit, im still testing out the pages but I think if I keep at it that it will be worth finishing and will be a nice addition to my Kingdom series. The only good thing about my lack of sleep is I have more time for my work.

[bacon]

Okay
I say this everytime but you might want to read up on at least human proportion. Your characters look extremely top-long with little legs. If the perspective were correct, the arms would shrink too. The way you set up your characters it looks like they are on their tippy toes. Not only that, they look giant because they are really big compared to the background and their placement is in the correct perspective. Also why is that lady all bendy? She looks like she is about to jump on that sword.
When you do eyes and you want them to face the reader you make them lightly crosseyed and not looking up. The way you did their eyes looking up and their overall blank smiling facial expression is something i would expect in psychedelic art and not a childrens book. They look braindead. Also with the face the guy's ears are a bit small.

You should try to clean up your line art and make them straighter. You can see some discoloring around the lines as well. It makes your characters look like jpgs pasted onto a background. If you accent with lines, you need to make sure that you do more detail. Detailing with sparse black lines makes the picture look bland. Maybe add more grass, some clouds, animals, trees, a village in the background, a castle, aliens, knights, dragons, mountains, waterfalls, etc. Just something. Please add something. If you are making a childrens novel you need to wow them with interesting and creative ideas, not just blank plains.

Its not a good idea to have random text without a textbox. You should try and box your text in a corner or to the side.

If its a childrens novel you should try and include more saturated colors. Right now your colors are a bit washed out. Be more dynamic with your color selection it will make your overall piece more interesting.

This post has been edited by bacon: Sep 25 2012, 10:05 AM

[Lato]

@Bacon if you say it every time then you already know my answer lol, its supposed to be fun, and a work in progress, If I wanted my art to look like everyone elses and be realistic when its a KIDS book I just wouldnt even do it in the first place, the idea here is to do something different and in my style because its MY series that ppl are paying for and wanting to see. But as always ty for the feedback.

[amaro57]

@Bacon if you say it every time then you already know my answer lol, its supposed to be fun, and a work in progress, If I wanted my art to look like everyone elses and be realistic when its a KIDS book I just wouldnt even do it in the first place, the idea here is to do something different and in my style because its MY series that ppl are paying for and wanting to see. But as always ty for the feedback.

I'm just going to stop you right there. The first point is that since you actually want to present this book to the public, it has to be presentable. No one asked you to emulate anyone else, and no two people's art styles are ever the same anyways. Just because the target audience of your project is kids does not give you the right to throw stupid excuses for defense in retaliation from critic from other artists. You should be thankful that you're getting some form of criticism, it's every artist's gold; gold is to be kept, to be treasured, and to be valued. Not disregarded like you're doing whenever someone is giving you advice. Especially when that someone has a greater skill level than you do.

There's a difference between "the idea (here) is to do something different and in my style" and I'm going to keep drawing with skill akin to a child and call it a 'style' and 'different'. A 'style' can be loosely interpreted as a different way of doing a certain thing, this case being drawing humans. Styles, all styles, derive from a base. It's like a tree, one big and giant main trunk that branches off into branches that have their own branches: sub-styles of styles. Your 'style' is like a completely different plant that has barely a stem and has no relation to the tree we deem as "humans' what-so-ever.

There are rules, every single area and thing has rules. Creativity isn't 'breaking' the rules, it's bending them into things that no matter how twisted or deformed, always go back to that simple base rule. Humans do not fly, humans are not four heads tall (normally), humans do have have hands made of elastic rubber, and humans do not have small stubs at the end of their legs with appendages hanging off of them. A child can be excused for such mistakes because they are that, a child. Someone who has matured well beyond twenty is not going to be excused as lightly. Are you seriously telling me that if you imagine yourself looking at a mirror wearing that Roman's armor, you're going to look like that drawing or something similar to it?

I'm not even going to bother telling you what you did wrong, re-read what bacon has told you before. Also, yes. You. Did. It. Wrong. You know all that talk about how 'there's no right way to draw something?'. Throw that crap out the window if you're applying it to everything. It applies in the form of style, it does not change core rules. I cannot say that I'm going to do math differently and in my style and say two plus two is seven hundred. Humans are proportional, we have magnificent bodies that always stay constant in relation to themselves. We never said you have to study art and anatomy books religiously, just skim them over. Get the ideas and core concepts in your mind. Look in a mirror when drawing or something for Christ's sake, it's not that hard, you're not wasting anytime with such a simple task.

Learn some basic, very basic, stupidly simple basic construction like a circle for the head, a trapezoid for the torso and pelvis, cylinders for the arms and legs, spheres for the joints and basic proportion like the standard human male is x number of heads tall. Reduce everything to puppetry if you have to and understand how we move our arms, look in a mirror and see how your face looks like and draw it when you need a smile.

[Show/Hide] Basic Construction can make all the difference

This post has been edited by amaro57: Sep 27 2012, 05:54 PM

[Lato]

Lol Amaro57 if you have personal problems vent it somewhere else plz thats my way of stoping you right there, I wont even read your full post just like I dont read bacons. Im doing very well with my art career so thank you for your misguided thoughts. Post with a bit more care next time and YOU have yourself a nice day

[amaro57]

>Doesn't read full post
>Assumes this is related with personal issues, obviously.

*Holds hands up in surrender*

I tried.

This post has been edited by amaro57: Sep 28 2012, 03:58 AM

[kaz]

>Doesn't read full post
>Assumes this is related with personal issues, obviously.

*Holds hands up in surrender*

I tried.

The issue has been dealt with-however I would like to say to both you and Bacon that the amount of time and effort that you both put into constructive feedback is appreciated by the Moderators and members.

@lato

Personal issues- where did that come from he was offering advice- if you chose not to take that is fine, but not reply in that manner- "have a nice day" does not make up for rudeness.