Lit's Poetry Corner, some coarse language Options

[X-M-O]

It's bold and direct. =]
If I were in the position of the person for whom the poem could have been written for, I would have fallen back in my chair. XD

[literarygoth]

Lol indeed - was such a source of frustration for me tonight that it prevented me from doing any work on my game project, which only frustrated me more. And thus a poem was born; yay for inspiration in all forms.

[literarygoth]

The poem I wrote yesterday, now has a 'brother' to go with it. I wrote this poem today at work, it was written by the same inspiration as the other. The longest poem I've ever written that rhymes!
Hope you enjoy....

[Show/Hide] Judgement

Judgment

Blame game
A crying shame.
For those that hate
Have sealed their fate.
A teacher cries
As knowledge dies.
Wisdom is rare
Do not compare,
An educational tool
With an ordinary fool.

Twisted words
Free as birds,
Wound and slice.
Who pays the price
For your intolerant greed
Which grows like a weed.
Corrupting a mind,
Are ties that bind.

-Jade Dye

This post has been edited by literarygoth: May 2 2011, 09:01 PM

[X-M-O]

It's really good, especially for a poem that rhymes. =D
I tend to like your non-rhyming style better, but that's just an opinion. =]

I really like these lines:
Wisdom is rare
Do not compare,
An educational tool
With an ordinary fool.

[literarygoth]

Been a long time since I posted a poem, so I dug an oldie out of mothballs and dusted it off. Not one of my finer pieces but here it is. Enjoy

[Show/Hide] Carnal

Carnal

Written 2005

I can feel the flesh shudder
Where the hand caresses my arm.
The ensuing wave of nausea
Boils in my blood.
The voice that speaks of love
Yet delivers only selfishness
And chauvanism.
The child inside the man,
Or the man that is the child?
Eyes that refuse the truth
But wants the pretty picture,
Painted with lies.
I've given my heart, my mind. I've given my body.
He wants and wants, wants forever
Me.
But offers little in return.
Pure animal loathing
Longs to tear at the delicate membrane
That covers his body; peel and rip,
Until nothing remains.

- Jade Dye

This post has been edited by literarygoth: May 2 2011, 09:02 PM

[X-M-O]

Oh, very nice. I like that one. I know a couple friends who definitely think those words but never say them.

Nice work. =]

[literarygoth]

Double update here
Thought I hadn't written any new poems in the last few months, but in flipping through my journal I discovered a piece from 6 months ago I had forgotten!
Also, a chat in the IRC earlier today inspired me to write a new poem
Here they are respectively:

[Show/Hide] Anniversary & Whisper

Anniversary

Written August 1, 2010

We are together
Though we're divided.
Standing united
At a mutual point.
Our lives combined,
Becoming intertwined.

My eyes are mirrors
Reflecting my soul;
Yet they speak
A silent language
So very few understand.
But you comprehend so completely;
Nothing needs to be said.

A newborns' vision
Crisp and clear.
I can see the path I walk.
Where I want to go.
And who I want
To be with.

Love lingers in the air.
I can feel it
Thought you're not here.
Patience will bring the day
When I can be at your side.

- Jade Dye

Whisper

Written March 10, 2011

I spy with my little eye,
Something that cannot be here.
A fading whisper
The glowing darkness,
Of a life long since past.

The air shivers
The ground sighs,
A silent lament
For the earthbound soul.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Penetrating darkness
Surrounds and binds.
It's here somewhere
An exit to eternal slumber.
The doorway I cannot find.

I hear the voices
Mute and garbled
They're all around me
And nowhere, at the same time.

- Jade Dye

This post has been edited by literarygoth: May 2 2011, 09:04 PM

[X-M-O]

I liked Anniversary. It's unashamed at its nature, but quietly tugging select emotions. Good piece. =]

Also, Whisper is something amazing yet creepy. Not creepy in a bad way though, more like a "there is a young girl reading the poem in a darkened, empty room and as a man enters and approaches the girl she turns toward him she realised he was never there".
It's interesting, and inspiring... it has sparked a curious idea for one of my theatre plays.

Going to go write another one now! My last one was a roaring success; I don't get a standing ovation for every play I write, but last one was great and this one will be just as great with an idea like this...
Thanks! =D

[literarygoth]

~updated main post
~spoilered all the posts with poems, and added all the poems to the main topic - hurray for organization!

[literarygoth]

Holy neckropost batman XD
It's been a while once again, but my inspirational muse is back and carrying me in several directions at once >.>
Here's a piece I wrote today at work.

[Show/Hide] Dearly Departed

Dearly Departed

Was it good for you,
As you played with his heart?
Strumming the heartstrings
Like a well practiced musician,
Singing a song of deceit,
Hidden in a loving embrace.

Was it good for you
As you toyed with his emotions?
Playing cat and mouse
With the heart that loved,
The delicate toy,
Taken for granted.

Was it good for you
As you manipulated his mind?
The pregnancy that only existed
During the heat of an argument.
Carelessly testing the boundaries,
Of the one that cherished you.

Was it good for you
As you demanded perfection?
Nothing ever satisfied,
The change of appearance,
The change of emotion,
The blocking of friends.

Was it good for you
Overbearing control freak,
As you played with the heart,
That tried to love another;
Leave the past in the past,
And embrace the future.

Was it good for you
Emotional train wreck,
As you toyed with the emotions
That blossomed anew,
And begun to sow roots;
The strange fruit of desire.

Was it good for you
Sadistic bitch,
As you manipulated the mind
That sought freedom from control,
To pass out of your shadow,
And into the light of a new day.

Was it good for you
Psychotic control freak
As you sought to perfect,
That which isn't yours,
To undermine the love of another
So that you may have
A servant for all time.

- Jade Dye

[X-M-O]

Dearly Departed has a very serious tone, and chides the one for whom it is written.
One might ask if it was written as a means to question oneself so that they do not make such mistakes. One might also think that it could be the sign of wisdom before an event occurs, or could be thought as a questioning of oneself after such an event has occurred.
The interpretation is quite clear, and the poem is written quite directly; it leaves little room for doubt.
One thing is certain, it is written with finesse, and makes good use of the words that were chosen to describe each piece.

It's also a very emotional piece, for the one writing it, for the one reading it, for the one it is meant for, and for the one it is written about.
Emotions that are lost, or gained, by experiencing a situation that is not uncommon, but a situation that is rarely given as much thought or as much care in choice of words.
The emotions rise towards the end of the poem, and finish with a pre-defined objective. Very clean-cut and not too many excess words.

The poem is great, for all of these reasons. The purpose of the poem is not entirely clear, but it does tug at the emotions of those who may have experienced similar circumstances. Because of this trait, the poem is also meaningful to more than just the writer.

Thus, the poem is great, but also meaningful. =]
Very nicely done. ^^

[literarygoth]

Thank you for your feedback X-M-O (as always ) it's greatly appreciated. I'm glad that 'Dearly Departed' struck an emotional chord, it was written in the midst of an emotional fury (which is when I do my best writing).
Here's another piece that I just wrote a few minutes ago, inspired by a facebook rampage. Again, written in the midst of an emotional fury. Hope you enjoy.

[Show/Hide] Mob Mentality

Mob Mentality

An eye for an eye
And the world goes blind,
So easily forgotten,
When you assume
You have all the facts;
A distorted image,
The trick of the camera,
A simple sentence
Blown out of proportion.

The mob is in a frenzy,
They're out for blood.
No use imploring,
Or attempting to explain,
They have their partial facts
And are ready to kill.
Kill the fuckers,
Put them down,
Torture them
Like they did their victim.
Is this really
Our 'civilized' society?

The witch hunt
Has now begun;
Beware the angry mob
Spitting fumes and
Demanding justice;
They'll have your head
Before they know
That you're innocent.

-Jade Dye

[X-M-O]

You're welcome. ^^
I generally avoid giving decent feedback to literary works, but I did do a little something for you. =]

This new piece is quite good, actually. I think it's a brilliant description of what "Mob Mentality" is, whilst being concise. Nice work. ^^

[Stern]

Usually I'm not one for poems, but damn! The last two poems you wrote are awesome. Very dark and filled with emotion, especially Dearly Departed. After reading these two I want to read more! I'll probably edit this/post again when I've read some of your older poems


Keep it up, because this is sweet!

[literarygoth]

^-^ Thank you Stern, I'm glad to hear I've hooked you and have you wanting to read more. Ironically, I'm not one to read poetry either, but writing it is something that I've grown to enjoy. I can't promise regular updates as I tend to write in spurts, but I will update as often as I can!

[literarygoth]

Double post.
Wrote this today at work. Why is it always work? >.>

[Show/Hide] Matrix

Matrix
05/10/2011

Wake up
The corporations have you,
Dependant
On their system.

It’s dressing you
In fancy lies,
It’s feeding you
Your own death.

Wake up
You’re hopelessly emerged,
In the system,
Designed to blind you.

[X-M-O]

That's a neat little poem; concise. =]
Definitely has a lot of meaning though, for being so short. Nice work. ^^

[literarygoth]

Thank you, X-M-O for being a dedicated follower and always commenting it's greatly appreciated.

Here's a new poem I wrote today. This poem channels the emotions of one of my closest and dearest friends.

[Show/Hide] Wish

Wish

Do they see me
Will they see me
When I try to be seen.

I'm right here,
Sitting beside you
Listening
As you speak your mind,
Exposing your heart,
To one that you trust.

I'm always here,
Willing to help
Pick up the pieces
When you've been shattered.
I'm always here,
Sharing a laugh.
Having a good time,
Enjoying your company.

I'm always here,
But never yours.
Hoping and wishing
For the day
You may see
That our friendship,
Means just a little
Bit more, to me.

[X-M-O]

That's beautiful. ^^
Unrequited love, is it? :3
I'm a sucker for any literary works involving unrequited love, lol. If my students ever knew that... they'd all get A's. XD

Anyway, very pleasant poem!



(I'm a dedicated fanatic to most art, though I'm also a recluse when it comes to it, lol. Never mind what I mean by that.)

[literarygoth]

Thanks
Indeed it is unrequited love; I'm glad you enjoyed.

Here's something on a much more profoundly deep and personal level. I had a panic attack in class today, which is not something that occurs often, or at all. Point of fact, this is only the second panic attack I've ever had. Unfortunately, something we were doing in class today triggered some flashbacks. Eventually this poem was the result; just finished writing it a few minutes ago. Enjoy.

[Show/Hide] Panic Attack

Panic Attack

Sweat it out
It'll be okay.
Heart is racing
Innards churning;
Suddenly,
I can't breathe.
Focus.
Stay calm.

Sweat it out
It'll be okay.
Gotta get away
From this
Confined space.
Walls that trap
Doors that bind.
No way to escape.

Sweat it out
It'll be okay.
Remember to breathe
Stay calm.

Ignore the memories,
Ignore the pain.
It will pass.

Ignore the screams
From the past.
It will pass.

Ignore the scent
That's always lingered.
It will pass.

Don't let them win,
Face your fears.
Conquer the demons
That threaten
Your sanity.
Cross each bridge,
As it appears.
It will pass.
It will pass...