Hey man, finally got this all written up and set. Here’s some in-depth feedback and I hope it helps you out. I wasn’t able to complete the demo, I got all the way to near the end of Day 3 but I couldn’t defeat the first noctophage when trying to leave that building with my torch and everything. Literally it was impossible because I had too much pain
But as for the feedback, just to give you an early sneak-peak…the demo was quite awesome Feedback: Tryadine EffectSystems/Features: 6/10
The features or systems that were implemented in the game were done very nicely, like the Menu System was perfect with the representation for equipment data and that heartbeat signal and the Pain and Blood System was also creative and unique. However, my problem with this area was that I didn’t feel like there was enough unique features/systems that you can be like “Hey, this game had so many great features, like the Pain and Blood System, and this system, etc.” I mean, even the little things, like the torch system can be taken farther. Or you could add the ability for the player to actually call people and find out information. And I know you can think up stuff man, because the menu was extremely creative and amazing along with the Pain and Blood System (With that reinforcements idea)!Graphical Appeal: 7/10
Graphically wise, this demo was pretty good. I loved how in certain scenes you could actually see everything, like the intro, the train scene, Dr. Fourier talking, that was impressive. Moreover, even though everything wasn’t over the top amazing in terms of graphics, everything was consistent in style. The only thing I would suggest working on is maybe some more custom character graphics that look more in tune with the tile set? In any event, great job on the scenes, tile sets, menu design, etc. it was very good overall graphically wise.Music: 9/10
The music was perfect for every scene. Don’t know where you found it, but it really amplified the feeling each scene brought. Only thing is that some pieces overplayed a little.
[/b]Story and Dialogue: 8/10[/b]Dialogue Errors
When Veckert walks into the crime scene:
“I’m pretty accustomed to this
[should be ‘these’] kind of brutal deaths...”
Talking to Blame
“I have to inspect the whole area,
[remove this] before jumping…”
Talking to Blame after inspection
“Someone wanted us to believe it was Hameophage. L [What’s this lol]”
Talking to Mie
[Did] you noticed
[remove] anything suspicious,
Talking to Keef
“Go back to your “faboulous”
[should be fabulous] [DISTRICT 1]!
“I’m not such [add ‘a’ right here] rich,
[Did] you seen
[remove] or heard
[change to ‘hear’] something
[change to ‘anything’] unusual last night?”
Talking to Geveree
[Did] you seen
[remove] or heard
[replace with ‘hear’ anything unusual,
[remove] last night.
[change to ‘?’”
“Definitively” this seems a bit awkard in that context, maybe just say “Yup, there was”.
Talking to Mei, change first line to:
“Did you see or hear anything…strange recently?”
“…but after but after
Talking to Yanette
Do the same thing like for Mei
Talking to Earn
[should be ‘Man’]…that was…”
Talking to Julia
“Veckert, Earn told me anything
[should be everything]”
After talking to everyone and Blame calls you and Veckert start thinking
“What could have they found” change to “What could they have found?”
“Blame shows no emotion at all,
[remove] while speaking”
[I’ve] know him since my early…”
“Some Hameophages succeeded in overcomee
“I’ve only [got] to stop them…”
“My fellows, we have lost one of the most brilliant mind[s]…”
Next text box cuts off some text
Again, next text box cuts off some text
The next text box is also cut off
In fact there are several more text boxes with cut off text, I don’t want to hog it up all here lol so make sure you go through again to test if everything is fitting properly.
Is Veckert from Distrct 5 or 7?
Girl in Spectra
“Anyway, can how can I help you?” [worded wrongly, remove first ‘can’]
“Damn, I have a weakness for this
Starting to get lazy so I’m gonna stop looking for dialogue errors for now
Sorry, but just re-test Day 2 and maybe Day 3 if I don’t do that one to check for that. I’m going to keep playing, I’m just getting hooked so I don’t want to keep switching out to write down grammar errors.Story and Dialogue Opinion
Besides the grammar mistakes, as long as you fix that, this category was beautifully put together. I feel every character was consistent with the original traits you displayed on them in the beginning and I believed all conversations flowed very natural and normal, and everything seemed very realistic. Moreover the story is being presented amazingly, always keeping you with questions while slowly providing you valuable information. However, some things could have been unclear, what district is Veckert from? Besides that, this area was great.Mapping: 9/10
The mapping and environment captured exactly the feel I believe you were trying to emulate. At first I was wondering why everything was so dark (and I usually hate dark maps lol) but then it’s explained that that is due to the SHIELD. Moreover the train station gave me the perfect feeling of being actually at train. I can’t really say anything I disliked on the maps, so great job here!Battle Mechanics/Gameplay: 7/10
Now, the system used for battling was creative and awesome. First of all though, let me talk about battle mechanics, how battle flowed out, etc. Well mainly, I think if the help option (like I will describe in my bug report) I would have probably felt better about battle, but I feel some options were not really user friendly, and it was hard to remember and find out what keys to use to switch weapons, etc. Moreover, the layout of battle was a little plain, I mean you don’t have to make it way to “eye-candy” but in my opinion it could looked for unique like the menu system. Finally, besides that, battling was very fun with this Pain and Blood System. I liked how battling wasn’t always “IN YOUR FACE OMG”, but I think a little more encounters would have been sufficient and also a way to maybe feel like you’re getting stronger like some stats upgrade page? Because I kept getting destroyed by the four Hameophage assault. Good job though in this area man!Bug Report
Lol, well in the help screen, you have something that says “Sh*t to previous..” that should probably be “shift”.
The Battle Tutorial doesn’t move on to the next page.
Not really a bug, but could you make the controls more “user-friendly”? Because when it says to switch players, I have to move between like V I think and another key?
When you try to switch weapons as a reinforcements agent, an error pops up “Script ‘sub-weapon’ line 120: NoMethodError occurred. Undefined method ‘+’ for nil:NilClass”
The screen stays grey after Blame makes a statement that he’s recovering if he died in battle.
After I got the First Repair Kit from the dead robot (the one before meeting Eni) than I went to my items and got this error: “Script ‘SCENE_ITEM_ALL’ line 105: ArgumentError occurred. Comparison of RPG:Weapon with RPG::Armor failed.”Overall Opinion: 7.5
Great work man, just fix those grammatical errors and fitting your text in the box and maybe add a couple more creative systems. Besides that, great job on this, I really really wanted to find out how Day 3 ended, so maybe you could tell me in a spoiler? Lol great job man! I look forward to Day 4!